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Lords:
* Tyriq
* https://twitter.com/FourbitFriday/
* https://frror.bandcamp.com/releases
* Ryan
* https://twitter.com/RyanIkeComposer
* https://www.instagram.com/ryanikeaudio/
Topics:
* What do animals know? Do they know things? How do we find out?
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WhatIsItLiketoBeaBat%3F
* Can we all just be adults and admit that invisibility sucks as a superpower?
* Where is the machine learning startup promising to fix the concert videos where the audience claps on 1 and 3
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UinRq29jPk
* Toxic by Britney Spears
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU
* Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/x3eUVHdw54k
* What mundane tool/item/technology do you wish were irrelevant, and what would you replace it with?
Microtopics:
* Doing a perfect ollie your first time on a skateboard and then never skating again because you'll never top that.
* Cooking every single dish in the human culinary encyclopedia and then starving to death because you refuse to repeat yourself.
* Honor system rock paper scissors.
* Making video games, one of which is called Catacomb Kids.
* Naming your band one letter away from a common word so that your band is impossible to google.
* An extremely austere and dour change log, like in Great Expectations.
* Changing the "dragon breath" spell to "bear breath" because dragons aren't real but bears breathe fire.
* A grim window into the world in which we live, dragonless and dragon breath -less.
* A delicious treat for anyone who likes anise flavoring and salt.
* A giant human sized licorice in a wedding gown.
* Competing with nearby deer for the affections of the extremely salty licorice you're marrying.
* Spendinga lot of your mental energy trying to figure out animal cognition.
* Whether elephants worship the moon or in fact anything.
* Dogs doing the things dogs do even if they've never been taught by another dog.
* Where babies learn the things that their parents don't teach them.
* Babies smiling when they see a face even though they're not happy to see you.
* Baby reflexes that help parents bond with them during the time when they are hardest to love.
* How to be sure that animals think and feel and have memory when we can't even be sure for other humans.
* P-zombies.
* A dog's mental model of the world.
* The Far Side cartoon depicting a machine that translates dog barks into human speech.
* Whether animals have to know stuff.
* Meerkat accents.
* The mantis shrimp having an innate ability to see ghosts, and learning our language to tell us that we're stepping on ghosts all the time and we're covered in ectoplasm.
* A superpower that turns you invisible except for your eyes, so you're just a floating pair of eyeballs, not invisible at all, so you have to buy a pair of sunglasses to hide your eyes.
* Putting two of the lamest possible superpowers together in the same married couple.
* The lamest superpower that you would settle for.
* The superpower of getting up when the alarm rings and not having to hit snooze even once.
* The superpower of lactose tolerance.
* The superpower of having practiced a lot.
* Cutting a cantaloupe in half and the six of clubs is in there and the guy's like "yeah that's my card, but that cantaloupe was $9 at Whole Foods, thanks a lot."
* How to convince general audiences that they should care when in the measure to clap.
* Just assuming that audiences will be clapping in the wrong place so you add a single measure in 5/4 to your 4/4 composition to fix it.
* Playing a concert video where the video and audio are desynchronized by exactly half a measure.
* Inventing a snare drum that looks like a bass drum and vice versa, and filming a prank show where unsuspecting drummers play concerts with the inverted drum kit.
* Going to fiver and asking someone to build you a drum kit that defies science and logic.
* The one company that Topic Lords would accept sponsorship from.
* Stopping the concert when the audience starts clapping on 1 and 3 and asking them "come on, did you spend $126 to get it wrong?"
* Not finding out how low-poly these birds are until the quarter speed viewing.
* Which side Britney's nails look most amazing from.
* The outfit flight attendants had to wear in the 1950s, before they had the right to vote.
* A flight attendant with pauldrons.
* A loser with a sandwich that Britney wants to make out with in the bathroom.
* Seeing someone's ass and wondering what the Blippi subreddit would think of it.
* A dude who is a motorcycle.
* Biketaurs.
* Having the same facial expression as the motorcycle you're riding.
* A sparkly Jackson Pollock that you wrap around yourself.
* Stepping right in the laser.
* Warning the janitor that you're turning on the office's death ladder so he's not surprised when he shows up that weekend to find 15 corpses on the floor.
* A music video that is secretly the prequel to Jupiter Ascending.
* Whether this hot Scandinavian guy is the same guy as the last hot Scandinavian guy.
* Saving time shaving by dyeing your facial hair the same color as your skin.
* Whether a stiff iron bar jabbing into your back would improve a bed or a chair.
* Whether Britney Spears hallucinated the events of the Toxic video, and she's just an ordinary flight attendant.
* How to fix bread closures.
* Filling the moon with bread closures.
* Getting a bread box so people stop having to manufacture bread closures.
* How massive a bread is required to spin the bag at sufficient velocity to apply the bread closures.
* Solving your headphone cord problem by never listening to audio of any kind.
* Installing an ink sac in your fingernail so that you never have to look around for a pen.
* A tattoo of a squid that you can squeeze to spurt ink into the eyes of your enemies, but the tattoo gets more and more faded as the ink depletes.
* An awful thing that your ducks can do.
* What's going on in that biome?
* The horned lizard's final defense.
* Dropping a tail if you need to escape.
* A super ethical meat factory that spends all day terrifying the tails off of lizards.
* An avocado-like spread made out of frightened lizard tail.
* Nothing but adrenaline flavor in this tail.
* How to live as a freelancer without being drained of all your bodily fluids.
