1.) Get to know yourself first before getting into dating other people.
- Learn your personal love languages and practice it on yourself first
- Me: Quality Time & Physical Touch ranging from pampering myself to self-pleasure
- This is your introduction to discovering your likes and dislikes
2.) Nowadays most of us are starting conversations digitally.
- Read the room for what it is and have CONFIDENCE with who you are
- You're not for everyone and everyone is not for you (That's ok)
- Take the pressure off the table this first conversation with them isn't make a break for the rest of your life. Remember you are worthy and have qualities that someone wants and desires. You are enough.
- Important factor this is where you communicate your intentions and expectations
2a.) Don't be afraid to initiate the conversation
- Pull conversation points from their profile (Where they're from, heritage, career, or musical taste)
- Be original don't start with the same ole (what's up, how are you, how's your day, hey beautiful, hey queen) Cringy and not original
- READ THE ROOM if they are giving one-word answers, not answering messages, or literally doing the bare minimum DROP THAT ASS. Silence says a lot
- This is where you're feeling out the vibe and engagement
Signs He's Not Interest:
- After a few days, you don't from him anymore
- He doesn't follow up with his word
- He only replies when you hit him up, but he doesn't hit you up
- Doesn't ask for your number
- Doesn't ask for the date
- His intentions may just be to chat and not date
- Communicate that what you want
2b.) In-Person / Virtual Date
- Be yourself (if you struggle with knowing who you are you will have trouble here, again date yourself first)
- In-person date should be set within the first 7 to 10 days of speaking (this is generous)
- If you ask for the date it should be something like an activity or place your either been to already where you can teach or an opportunity to experience something new together
- This is an easy conversation to spark
- Activities help with the team building together and have to work together to see what that looks like / Gets them out the element
- Restaurant you both haven't will make it a memory
- Start with a greeting (wave, hug, handshake, fist bump because of covid)
3.) Awkward Silence
- Moments of silence are not a bad thing
- Embrace it
- Fill it in with a smile and ask the question "What are you thinking? / What's on your mind?"
- This does put them on the spot, but also his response is telling. Will he say something sweet or "nothing at all"
- This is literally a tea up fro him to flirt with you
- If he can't pick it up or say something deep… "I'm sleep"
4.) Acceptable Questions For The First Date
- Was the place easy for you to find? (based on his reply offer something up for yourself and directions) | Even if this is virtual its a cute and funny question
- Where would you like to travel after the pandemic
- How would your best friend describe you?
- What does your living situation look like?
- What's your favorite room in the house and why?
- Do you like what you do for a living? / What do you do?
- Who were you in high school?
- Where do you see yourself living long term?
- Name some songs on your favorite playlist / What was the last song you played
- Are you currently casually dating or seriously dating?
- What are your expectations when dating someone new?
- What does a relationship look like to you?
- (Your vetting to understand their lifestyle and compatibility and the flirting helps with chemistry)
- Jokes and Smiles help with flirting / Feel free to call it out a poke a little fun
Honorable Mentions
- Don't tell too much about yourself this is just the interlude to you and him
- If you have children share that
- If you plan on moving out of state share that
- Make eye contact and if you struggle do the 3-second stare and look away, but then look back
- Show off your beautiful smile
- Don't be too self-deprecating, yes laughing at yourself is good but back it up with confidence
- Honesty goes a long way and people appreciate that
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