Falling into the trap of self-criticism becomes our usual pattern when setbacks occur. It confines us in this dark pit within ourselves that surrounds us with harsh judgments whenever we encounter failures. Be that as it may, we are not alone. Everyone is bound to commit mistakes. Even the greatest personalities have done something they're not proud of. To embrace our flaws, we need to practice self-compassion and understand that we are still a work in progress.
In this episode, Elise talks about mindful self-compassion and its relevance to our daily journey of finding ourselves. She also discusses how the practice is not about self-indulgence nor a form of self-pity. Finally, she shares how we can learn self-compassion through the different resources available today.
If you want to harness the power of self-compassion, this episode is for you!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
- Understand the meaning of self-compassion
- Learn how to practice self-compassion daily
- Discover the connection between self-compassion and happiness
Resources
Episode Highlights
[03:07] The Practice of Mindful Self-Compassion
- There is a lot of hatred and bigotry in the world. However, our problems would be lessened if we start practicing self-compassion.
- Self-compassion allows us to release ourselves from self-hatred and judgments.
- We don't have to pressure ourselves to be better at everything.
[06:37] The Pillars of Self-Compassion
- Self-compassion has three pillars: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
- We have the tendency to fall into self-criticism whenever we talk about ourselves.
- Mindfulness brings us to the present. It helps us examine our thoughts and how it affects our body.
- Self-kindness means building up ourselves amid difficult times. We know the best way to help ourselves.
Elise: "[We] don't have to abandon ourselves or look outside of ourselves every time something goes wrong. We can start first to access this well that's within us that will never run dry."
[11:02] Creating Space to Be Whole
- Most people assume that self-compassion is a means for self-pity or boosting ego. On the contrary, it is actually the practice of carving space to find and be your true self.
- Let yourself experience your emotions and understand how you respond to the present situation.
- We must not only embody our positive emotions but also accept the negative ones too.
[15:00] What Doesn't Fall Under Self-Compassion
- Self-compassion is not about self-esteem. It's about practicing kindness towards ourselves and accepting our reality.
- Showing kindness to yourself means checking your emotional and physical state.
- Hatred stems from our malnourished souls trying to find ways to boost their fragile self-esteem.
[18:31] Reset and Center
- Mindful self-compassion helps you find your center and determine what you should prioritize. Listen to the full episode to know how self-compassion helped Elise's life.
Elise: "Just because people expect you to do things a certain way doesn't mean that that's how you have to do things. Just because you're juggling a lot of things in your life doesn't mean that you have to keep doing that."
[22:10] Accepting Imperfection
- Practicing self-compassion helps you accept imperfect situations and manage your expectations.
- Learn to appreciate the good and bad things in life.
- Be grateful for being your authentic self.
- Celebrate your uniqueness.
[25:18] Coming Home to Yourself
- Finding yourself is a lifelong practice.
- Choosing to embark on this journey means showing up every day for yourself even if it's difficult.
- How we perceive life is all in our heads. We can control how we think and feel about a situation.
[27:28] Loving-Kindness Meditation
- Loving-kindness meditation is about deserving peace, happiness, and freedom.
- It's the practice of extending the ripples of love from yourself to others.
- Elise shared that she gets easily angered before. Loving-kindness meditation allowed her to extend her compassion to everyone — even to those who are difficult to empathize with.
[30:04] On Happiness
- Everyone deserves to be happy.
- Happy people don't inflict pain on others. Tune in to the entire episode to hear about Elise's examples of personalities with unhappy lives and how it affected them.
- Self-compassion can save humanity from suffering.
[31:46] Self-Compassion Is Not Indulgence
- There is nothing wrong with slowing down and giving yourself a break.
- Give yourself the love and care you deserve.
[32:29] Learning Loving-Kindness
- Once we extend our loving-kindness to everyone—even to those we find detestable—we could make the world a better place.
- Loving yourself becomes easier once you start extending love and kindness to other people.
Elise: "We have to be in this cycle of giving and receiving to be in cooperation with other people [and] to live on this planet."
[33:28] Opening Ourselves
- Opening ourselves to emotions also means inviting feelings we want to avoid.
- We can only meet people as deeply as we have met ourselves.
[36:33] Learning Self-Compassion
- Online and personal classes are available if you're interested to learn about mindful self-compassion.
- It's also possible to do this practice on your own by buying workbooks related to it.
- There are also journal prompts that help in gaining insights on self-compassion.
- Applications are also available for meditation practices.
[39:44] Elise's Learning Moment
- Elise recognizes some parts of the podcast might have come off as offended or triggered.
- Knowing her blind spots is a teaching and learning moment for her.
- She initially didn't want to upload this episode. However, she applied self-compassion in the situation by analyzing her emotions and talking to people she trusts.
- We must accept that messing up at some point is normal.
- Elise wants to be an example in living one's authentic truth and encourages people to do the same.
Enjoyed this Episode on Mindful Self-Compassion?
If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it!
Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.
Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at elise@elisekindya.com.
Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.
