by David Chadwick
Broken marriages are plaguing people both inside and outside of the church. Divorce statistics are staggering, even among those who call themselves Christians. There is no greater pain in the hearts of Christians than a marriage that falls apart. No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day and thinks to themselves, “One day, we will end up divorced.” Most every couple truly believes that they will remain together “until death do us part.”
Unfortunately, we live in a broken world with broken people who have broken wills and desires. Divorce, though hated by God (Malachi 2:16), is an unfortunate reality in our world. Let me see if I can tenderly share some reminders for those of you who have experienced a broken marriage.
First, let me quickly interject here that your first step in being able to move forward after a divorce is to remember that while God hates divorce, he does not hate divorcees. He loves you deeply! In fact, the Bible calls us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). God is a God of compassion and I can promise you that he hurts with you and for you in your pain! As do I!
Secondly, please know that divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God knew it would happen in this broken world. His loving, forgiving grace is available to all. Remember that because of Jesus, God sees you as a new creation. He puts your past in the past. He draws near and heals the brokenhearted, binds the wounds of those who are hurting, and gives new hope to all who trust in him.
Third, learn what you need to learn from your divorce. What did you do wrong? What could you have done better? Then, as you are walking out some of the pain from your own loss, find a way to give your life away. Healing will come as you give your life away (Isaiah 58:10). Maybe you will even figure out a way to take what you have learned and help others walking through divorce (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Finally, learn what it takes to “divorce proof” your marriage. How? State your vows to one another regularly. Spend time together. Become one another’s best friend. When you do, you’ll find that while it is easy to leave your spouse, it’s impossible to leave your best friend. In fact, the divorce statistics for couples who practice these disciplines is practically nil!
Remember, God brought you together. Work hard to stay together! And as many of you have heard me say, always keep the back door locked from the outside!