by Marilynn Chadwick
"My child, sinners will try to lead you into sin. But do not follow them." Proverbs 1:10 ICB
Proverbs warns about the danger of bad companions. We were careful with our children and who they chose as friends. We made the decision to send our children to secular schools, knowing they would be surrounded by a variety of kids. But a troubled kid was always welcome in our home. Sometimes, even a problem child, when surrounded by a healthy home environment, could make great progress.
The phrase "Bad company corrupts good character" is a famous quote from 1 Corinthians 15:33. It warns that close association with foolish peers can negatively influence one's own morals and behavior.
However, there was one category of friend that caused us to provide more boundaries of protection. These I would call the "dream killers." David and I have been more intentional about protecting our children from dream killers than we have from more obvious misbehavior. Children can be taught to recognize the dangers of drinking or drugs. But they may not always see the subtlety of a dream killer.
Dream killers can come in the form of peers or even adults at times. This is sometimes called "the crab pot syndrome." This means when one crab tries to crawl out of a pot, the others will pull him back down. We've seen this syndrome play out time and again.
Not everyone sees our child's dream or supports that dream. That's why we prayed fervently for God to guard our children's friendships. We prayed the Lord would use those friends to encourage each other to draw our children close to him and then to open doors for their calling to make an impact for Christ on this broken and hurting world. Let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds (Hebrews 10:24 AMP).
Every dreamer needs a team. Consider ways to build a good team around your child. Bring teachers, grandparents, coaches, and church leaders into your circle of friends. They can be some of your biggest allies in helping your children reach their dreams.
I supported our children's teachers and coaches and volunteered whenever possible. Coming from a family of educators, I deeply admired the many adults who poured their lives into our children. I prayed for them, encouraged them, even befriended them.
But there were times when I had to go to bat for our children. On a couple of occasions, I asked a teacher or coach to consider giving a second chance or a harder challenge to one of our children. In each case, I knew the child was ready. And in each case, the teacher or coach agreed, so I was glad I spoke up. Prayer partners are also key, along with the parents of your children's friends. It really does take a village.
