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Lesson 13 – Admit

James 5:16

Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. "Happy are the pure in heart." (Matthew 5:8)

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.  "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

This week we are going to focus on confessing (admitting) our sins, all the dark secrets of our past, to another person.

We have all heard that the wages of sin is death, but you may not have heard that the wages of sin are never frozen or that they are never subject to income taxes. One of the main reasons for that is because most of the wages of sin go unreported! And, by the way, if the wages of sin is death, shouldn't you quit before payday?

WHY ADMIT MY WRONGS?

This part of Principle 4 is often difficult for people. I am often asked, "Why do I have to admit my wrongs to another?"

Many of us have been keeping secrets almost all of our lives.

Every day those secrets take a toll on us. The toll we pay is loss of self-respect and energy and bondage to old codependent habits. Admitting—out loud—those secrets strips them of their power. They lose much of their hold on us when they are spoken.

Still, we are afraid to reveal our secrets to another person, even someone we trust. We somehow feel like we have everything to lose and nothing to gain. I want you to hear the truth tonight.

WHAT DO WE HAVE TO LOSE?

Do you know what we really have to lose by telling our secrets and sins to another?

1. We lose our sense of isolation.

Our sense of aloneness will begin to vanish.

2. We will begin to lose our unwillingness to forgive.

When people accept and forgive us, we start to see that we can forgive others.

3. We will lose our inflated, false pride.

As we see and accept who we are, we begin to gain true humility, which involves seeing ourselves as we really are and seeing God as He really is.

4. We will lose our sense of denial.

Being truthful with another person will tear away our denial. We begin to feel clean and honest.

WHAT DO WE HAVE TO GAIN?

Now that you know what you have to lose when you admit your wrongs to another, let me tell you three benefits you will gain.

1. We gain healing that the Bible promises.

Look at James 5:16 again. God's Word tells us that we are to admit our wrongs, our sins, to one another. You do this not to receive their forgiveness, for God already forgave you when you confessed your wrongs and sins to Him. James 5:16 says to confess your sins to one another for healing.

Sharing our secrets, struggles, and failures with another is part of God's plan of our healing process. The road to recovery is not meant to be walked alone.

2. We gain freedom.

Our secrets have kept us in chains, bound up, frozen, and unable to move in all our relationships. Admitting our sins snaps the chains.

"They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from the darkness and the shadow of death and snapped their chains." (Psalm 107:13-14, TLB)

3. We gain support.

When you share your inventory with another person, you get support. The person can keep you focused and provide feedback. He or she can challenge you when denial surfaces.

Most important, the person will listen!

How do I choose someone?

1. Choose someone of the same sex as you whom you trust and respect.
2. Ask your sponsor or accountability partner. Just be sure they have completed Principle 4 (or Steps 4 and 5)
3. Set up an appointment with the person, a time without interruptions! It usually takes two to three hours to share your inventory.

Guidelines for you meeting

1. Start with prayer. Ask for courage, humility, and honesty.

Here is a sample prayer:

God, I ask that You fill me with Your peace and strength during my sharing of my inventory. I know that You have forgiven me for my past wrongs, my sins. Thank You for sending Your Son to pay the price for me, so my sins can be forgiven. During this meeting help me to be humble and completely honest. Thank You for providing me with this program. Thank You for allowing the chains of my past to be snapped. In my Savior's name I pray, Amen.

2. Read the Principle 4 verses found in your Participant Guides.

3. Keep your sharing balanced – weaknesses and strengths!

4. End in prayer. Thank God for the tools He has given to you and for the complete forgiveness found in Christ!

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)