I used to think that good parents nip bad behaviour in the bud to prevent it from escalating into character flaws and discipline problems in kids.  When a child of mine acted out, I interpreted defiance and felt a pressure to correct and instruct every-time. 

"As a psychologist I no longer work on behaviors." Dr Mona Delahooke explains in her book Brain Body Parenting "I work on supporting nervous systems and looking to the underlying sources of challenges" 

Dr. Mona Delahooke is a best-selling author and child psychologist who aims to reduce suffering and increase resilience for children and families. She is a frequent speaker, trainer, and consultant to parents, organizations, schools, and public agencies. Especially of value to us is that Dr Delahooke has dedicated her career to promoting compassionate, trauma responsive, relationship-based neurodevelopmental interventions for individuals with developmental, behavioral, emotional, and learning differences.