This week we are joined by Rev. Benjamin Perry on the podcast. Benjamin is author of “Cry, Baby: Why Our Tears Matter,” and an award-winning writer. His work focuses on the intersection of religion and politics. They hold a degree in psychology from SUNY Geneseo and a Masters of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary. He is married to Erin Mayer, they live in Maine with his brother and best friend. They are the editor of the Queer Faith photojournalism series, curator of an art exhibit by the same name, and a passionate advocate for building Church that lives into God’s blessed queerness. His two proudest achievements are skydiving with his grandmother and winning first prize in his seminary drag show. In this conversation, Benjamin discusses their journey as a queer minister and author, exploring the intersections of queerness, spirituality, and social justice. They share insights on the importance of emotional expression, particularly through crying, and the need for progressive voices in the face of rising Christian nationalism. The discussion also delves into Benjamin's book, which examines the cultural stigma around crying and advocates for a world where emotional vulnerability is embraced. We explore the multifaceted nature of crying, discussing its physiological and social implications, the shame surrounding masculinity and emotional expression, and the intersection of queerness and vulnerability. Benjamin emphasizes the importance of grief and emotional balance in a world filled with anger and anxiety, advocating for a deeper understanding of our emotional lives and the connections they foster.
Takeaways
I have to come out as queer and Christian.
I joke that I professionally fight with evangelicals.
Crying is a deeply human experience.
We need more prophetic voices.
The answer to hypocrisy can't be silence.
I didn't cry for more than a decade.
What would a world shaped by more open weeping look like?
I made myself cry every day for months.
I became a person who cried more easily.
We need to create moral clarity. Crying serves as a physiological release and a social signal.
Emotional tears contain higher concentrations of stress-related proteins.
Crying can create unexpected connections between individuals.
Public crying often invites empathy rather than judgment.
Shame around crying is often rooted in societal norms and expectations.
Men experience a double shame regarding their emotional expression.
Crying can be a radical act of vulnerability and authenticity.
Grief is a natural response to love and loss.
Balancing grief and anger is essential for emotional health.
Crying can be a deeply queer act, challenging societal norms.
Chapters
(01:56) Introduction to Benjamin Perry
(04:54) Spiritual Journey and Queerness
(15:10) Intersection of Religion and Politics
(27:15) Exploring the Book 'Cry Baby'
(32:55) The Complexity of Crying
(36:00) Crying as a Connection Tool
(44:59) Crying and Queerness
(51:00) Grief, Rage, and Emotional Balance
Resources:
Learn more about Rev. Benjamin Perry at https://www.benjaminjperry.com/
Cry, Baby: Why Our Tears Matter by Rev. Benjamin Perry
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