People talk about healing and recovery but don't talk much about relapse.
Most of us go off track. But what is important is that we recognise the signs so as not to go all the way back to relapse.
Melissa Gissy Witherspoon (author of I am Sober – now what?) says that we relapse at several different levels before we get back to ill health, addiction, putting that weight back on, toxic thinking or old reactive coping strategies.
It is natural to have ups and downs, and we all have areas that have room for growth. Also, big external challenges can knock us off our feet and get us really triggered and depressed. We can get into our heads and find we can't get out of it. This is when we go back into old patterns. This is normal as we are human and we hurt, but when this happens what is important is to see the signs, catch ourselves and reset. If we don't we start the relapsing process.
The 3 stages of relapse : (Melissa Gissy Witherspoon)
Stage 1 : Emotional relapse
This usually starts with a lack of self-care she says, for example lying in bed too long, not washing your hair, not doing your daily practise or skipping exercise and such things – it is different for everyone.
Melissa says that this sets off an alarm that she is slipping and that she must catch it.
It is not easy she says, but if you can see it as a mental alarm clock that shows you where you are getting to the place that is potentially dangerous, you can then check yourself, take a look at it and ask what does it mean? Why am I doing this ?
If you avoid or ignore these triggers or brush them off and don't deal with them then they catch up with you later. Stay in Stage 1 long enough without taking action, and you may move to Stage 2.
Stage 2 : Mental relapse
In this stage you will start to feel uncomfortable in your skin and you may skip activities that relieve triggers .
Important to identify when this is happening and how, some examples are :
- Are you disconnecting?
- Have you stopped reaching out to community?
- Are you not going to work ?
- Are you isolating?
- Eating too much ?
- Cancelling meetings and connections?
- Feeling very irritable and reactive?
Once again different for each person. BUT this is big alarm stuff she says, and a danger zone which if not turned around or addressed leads to Stage 3.
Stage 3 : Physical relapse
Once you get to this stage it can get dangerous because then you can start falling back into a dip and getting sick again or going back into addictive behaviours.
It does not take away your hard work if you relapse, but it masks it as it covers you with guilt and shame and then takes a lot of work to get back up.
There are various triggers and if we recognise these at different stages, we can catch ourselves before this happens.
To quote Janet Gourand (Tribe Sober): "We each need to develop our own relapse prevention strategy, this includes coming up with a list of personal warning signs. Signs that we are not "doing the work".
The advantage of knowing about these 3 stages is that you can keep your radar sharp for Relapse Warning Signs – all different for different people, but you need to be able to pick up if you are feeling a bit "off" as Melissa puts it – keeping a journal is a great way of monitoring your emotions and keeping track.
(The information in this Episode was paraphrased from a clip by Melissa Gissy Witherspoon, author of : "I am sober now what". )
Here is the link to Melissa's website and book : https://sober-now.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Sober-What-Journey-Hope-Healing/dp/1643733354
The clip was featured on the amazing Tribe Sober Community Platform.
Here is the link to Tribe Sober : https://www.tribesober.com/
This link is a great Podcast conversation that Janet Janet Gourand (Tribe Sober founder) had with Melissa Gissy Witherspoon. It is well worth a listen for its deep insight and inspiration into addiction and recovery from it.
https://janetgourand4.podbean.com/?s=melissa
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