In today’s episode, Colleen shares a personal story about navigating a tense encounter with a neighbor who demanded drastic action after a minor incident involving her dog. Using this real-life situation, she demonstrates how to clear an emotional reaction in real time by properly diagnosing the problem, managing feelings, and resetting the nervous system. This episode highlights the importance of emotional regulation, how to move from reaction mode to intentional action, and how to maintain an empowered mindset even in difficult circumstances.
Key Takeaways:
- Diagnose the Neutral Facts:
When confronted with a highly emotional situation, assess the neutral facts of the incident and determine if there is a genuine call to action. - Overthinking is Under-feeling:
Instead of spiraling into overthinking, take a moment to stop and feel the emotions. Overthinking prolongs stress, while feeling the feelings allows the body to clear the emotional response. - Emotional Regulation in Action:
Colleen shares how she sat with her emotions, acknowledged the physical sensations (tightness, heart pounding, heat), and allowed herself to fully feel them for 90 seconds. This simple practice helps reset the nervous system. - Becoming Unfuckwithable:
Cultivating the emotional state of being unfuckwithable means not being reactive to external demands or other people’s emotions. Colleen conjured this mindset by grounding herself and clearing her stress response. - Reclaim Your Power:
Recognize that your emotions about other people’s actions or words are your responsibility. By taking ownership of your feelings, you reclaim your power and can choose how to move forward.
Action Steps:
- Stop, Drop, and Regulate:
When faced with a triggering situation, stop what you’re doing, drop into your body, and regulate your emotions by acknowledging and feeling them without judgment. - Neutral Evaluation:
Objectively evaluate the facts of the situation. If there is no necessary action, mentally release it. - Shift Your Emotional State:
Consciously choose the emotional state you want to embody moving forward. You don’t have to carry the emotional weight of the incident all day.
Homework:
Try this practice next time you’re faced with an emotionally charged situation:
- Sit with your emotions for 90 seconds. Notice the physical sensations and allow them to be present without judgment.
- Once the emotions settle, evaluate the facts neutrally and determine if any action is required.
- Consciously choose an empowered emotional state and move forward with clarity.
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