Boundaries in Marriage
Hello friends and welcome to the latest episode of the A Beautiful Adventure Marriage Podcast. So in this episode, we are talking about "boundaries". Which can be a pretty hard topic to talk about with people because some people love them, some people hate them, while others just don't really care.
Boundaries in marriage can be difficult because typically someone who loves boundaries will marry someone who doesn't. Proving the old saying, "opposites attract" is true.
So, in order to help you and your marriage, and possibly prevent issues from causing conflict with your spouse, let's start by finding out what boundaries really are and see if we can correct any misconceptions.
What are Bondaries?
If you look up the word "boundary" you will find that it is defined as a line that marks the limit of an area. There are lines that are set and marked well so others will not cross them.
Although that is a great definition of boundaries, as I was researching for this episode, I found a lot of good definitions for this controversial word. I wanted to share a few of them here.
A boundary in a marriage is the limit of what a person is willing to accept from their partner.
Boundaries serve as an outward expression of a person's core values, beliefs, and reflects what they need to feel safe, respected, and loved.
~April Eldemire
A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of
ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.
~Henry Cloud
You can even find boundaries in God's Word.
Adonai is my portion and my cup. You cast my lot. My boundary lines fall in pleasant places —surely my heritage is beautiful. Psalm 16:5-6
Boundaries are especially necessary in a marriage. For a marriage to be healthy there are several areas where healthy boundaries can be put into place. Because like April Eldemire said above boundaries define what your limits are, what your core beliefs are, and what you need to feel safe and secure.
A few areas where you may want to consider boundaries are-
In-Laws and other Family Members (Genesis 2:24)- the Bible tells us to "leave and cleave" and that means our spouse and marriage needs to come first. That includes any family relationship. Can you still honor and spend time with your family? Of course, but they need to be in a proper and healthy position in your life.
Communication (Ephesians 4:29)- There needs to be boundaries in the way you talk to and about your spouse, whether that be in an argument or normal conversation. We have "Battle Boundaries" in place in our marriage, but we also have boundaries set up for everyday conversations. You can find how we set up the "Battle Boundaries," by reading our blog, "Rules of Engagement Marriage Edition".
Money (Hebrews 13:5) – money is the number one source of conflict in a marriage. Setting boundaries can put you and your spouse on the same page with your finances which can bring a great deal of peace into your relationship.
Friends and Work Relationship (Proverbs 4:23)- There are some people that we will spend a lot of time with, without our spouse being present. Boundaries should be in place there to protect your heart and your most important relationship.
Personal (Psalm 139:14) – Although we are one in marriage, we can still be unique. It's easy to want to change things about your spouse so boundaries can be put into place to safeguard that from happening.
Intimacy (Hebrews 13:4)-Sex and intimacy is a vital part of any marriage. It is important to have conversations about this aspect of marriage and set boundaries that work for both husband and wife.
On our next podcast, we are going to break down the areas in marriage where boundaries can be set and show you ways to get them set up and implemented. So if this is an area that needs improvement in your marriage don't miss our next episode dropping on the 19th!
https://abeautifuladventuremarriage.com/boundaries-in-marriage/
