Whether you're a woman going through a divorce or have a friend going through one, this episode can help. Divorce is HARD. I know, because I've been through it. Even when you're clear that it's the right thing to do, there are a lot of unknowns and there can be unexpected twists and turns that can knock you to the ground. The good new is that there are lots of resources available to help you, such as my guest, Leah Marie. Support is vital!
Leah Marie Mazur is a cretified Divorce Recovery Coach for women and founder of Mindfully Ready, LLC. She specializes in helping women navigate the mental and emotional side of divorce so they can heal faster and move forward with confidence. She also provides a safe, judgment-free community for women rebuilding after divorce in her private Facebook group, Divoced & Empowered.
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Transcript:
Karin: This is Love Is Us, exploring relationships and how we connect. I'm your host, Karin Calde. I'll talk with people about how we can strengthen our relationships, explore who we are in those relationships, and experience a greater sense of love and connection with those around us, including ourselves. I have a PhD in clinical psychology, practiced as a psychologist resident, and after diving into my own healing work, I went back to school and became a coach, helping individuals and couples with their relationships and personal growth. If you want to experience more love in your life and contribute to healing the disconnect so prevalent in our world today, you're in the right place. Welcome to love is us.
Hello, everyone. You probably know by now that I want the best for you and your relationships. We all benefit from having love in our lives, but sometimes the kindest, best thing that we can do for ourselves and our family is to end a relationship. Now, I would never advise someone that they should get a divorce because that's not my job, and I don't know what's really best for you. But if you decide to get a divorce, I bet you have some really good reasons. The thing is, even when it's clearly the best choice, when it is your choice, it's still really hard and can leave you feeling badly about yourself, leave you feeling lost, isolated, maybe second guessing yourself, scared. It's hard, and there can be a lot of upsides once you're through it. But getting through it is the thing. And the thing is, you don't have to go through it alone. And there are lots of people out there that have been through it and who can support you. So my guest today is one of those people. She's Leah Marie Mazer, and she loves supporting women and helping them heal and move on to whatever is next for them. I hope whether or not you are going through a divorce or thinking about it or you have friends who are in that position, I hope that this episode is helpful for you. Here we go.
Welcome, Leah Marie.
[02:27] Leah Marie: I'm excited to be here.
[02:28] Karin: It's good to have you. So where are you in the world?
[02:33] Leah Marie: I am in Buffalo, New York, and.
[02:37] Karin: We were just talking a little bit about how much snow you've had this year and how you're really done with that.
[02:43] Leah Marie: Yes. Record breaking. We were trapped in the house for about four days for Christmas. It's been something. So we're ready for the sun to keep shining.
[02:51] Karin: Wow. Well, we're almost to spring out there, but what keeps you there?
[02:58] Leah Marie: Family. This is where I was born and raised, for the most part. I did a lot of moving around in my late teens and early 20s, but I always found my way back.
[03:09] Karin: Yeah.
[03:09] Leah Marie: Home. Yes, home.
[03:13] Karin: Well, tell us what you do for a living.
[03:16] Leah Marie: I'm a certified divorce recovery coach for women. So I help them through the mental and emotional side of divorce so that they can heal faster and move forward with confidence.
[03:29] Karin: And how did you come to do that work?
[03:33] Leah Marie: So I'll give you a little backstory. When I was 16 years old, I actually witnessed my mom have an asthma attack in our home and die. She was only 41. It was very traumatic for me, as you can imagine. And only five years later, my dad died of pancreatic cancer and I'm an only child. So by 21 years old, it was like, okay, Leah, here's the world. Go figure out how it works. Wow. I didn't realize it at the time. This was many years later. And therapy helped me realize that I coped. My coping mechanism was essentially becoming a serial monogamist. I was hopping from relationship to relationship for years because they were the buoys that kept me afloat. I had these really deep seated abandonment issues from the loss of my parents. I had this fear of being alone. And so after my second divorce, that was my wake up call where I realized, okay, obviously I'm caught in some kind of pattern here. This is not serving me. I don't want to keep doing this. And so I dove into all the things, all things self help therapy. And I got really heavily into meditation and journaling and gratitude practice and all kinds of stuff and got myself to, quote, unquote, the other side. And so when I did that, I essentially just created a framework for other women. I kind of collected all the best tools and the most effective methods to heal after divorce and get back on your feet. And so now I help other women through that chapter.
[05:13] Karin: So how long have you been doing this?
[05:15] Leah Marie: I’ve been doing it for three years now.
[05:18] Karin: So you've had the opportunity to really see what works at this point.
[05:23] Leah Marie: Yes.
[05:23] Karin: When you work with people and when women come to you, what are they seeking? What do they want to get out of working with you?
[05:32] Leah Marie: Sometimes it's just validation that they did the right thing or that their feelings are valid. And sometimes it's tools. They just need the tools to figure out how to feel better and how to build their self-esteem.
[05:50] Karin: Yeah, because I imagine a lot of them are feeling pretty alone.
[05:58] Leah Marie: Absolutely. Yeah. Divorce is so isolating. It's not often that when you're experiencing a divorce, you know someone close to you in your life who's going through one at the same time, you're usually doing it on your own. And even if you do know people who have been through a divorce, everyone's so different. Their experience or their marriage could be completely different than yours and what you're going through. And so sometimes the advice that you get from friends and family isn't as practical as you would hope it to be.
[06:31] Karin: Yeah, right. And I bet people get a lot of bad advice.
[06:36] Leah Marie: Sure.
[06:38] Karin: What's some of the bad advice that people tend to get?
[06:41] Leah Marie: Yeah. One of the most common ones I hear is just get right back on the saddle, get on those dating apps, get back out there and find a new relationship.
[06:54] Karin: And although I'm sure these friends and family members are really well intentioned, why is that a bad idea?
[07:00] Leah Marie: Yeah, they are. Of course, everything comes from love, right? They want to just see you happy. But it's not a good idea because if you are coming from a place of lack, you don't want to be beginning a relationship to fill any kind of void that you have within yourself. Because if you're doing that, the chances of you choosing the right partner are very slim. You're going to be settling for less than you deserve. You are going to not have high standards. You're not going to have strong deal breakers. It's so important to get yourself to a place where you feel whole and happy and fulfilled all by yourself. And then you date from a completely different place. You can show up. And instead of being worried about whether or not they're going to like me or am I good enough for them, or are they going to be turned off by the fact that I'm getting divorced, you'll have that narrative, that inner narrative of, are you good enough for me? Are you adding value to my life? Do you have what I want? And that's how you really choose the right partner if you're looking for a long term, healthy relationship.
[08:12] Karin: So it sounds like you help people really start to rely on their own internal sense of what they want for themselves rather than seeking external that external validation from the people that they're dating.
[08:28] Leah Marie: Absolutely, yes.
[08:33] Karin: And what do newly divorced women tend to get wrong?
[08:39] Leah Marie: Well, a lot of times we see the blame, right? Playing the blame game, he did this or he didn't do that, or he never did this. And it's very easy to leave a relationship and be pointing the finger, and all of those things may very well be valid and things that maybe shouldn't have happened, but at the end of the day, that's a victim mentality, and that's not going to empower you to make better choices in the future. So one of the things you really have to do is self reflect. You have to get a really good understanding of what role did you play? Where were you mentally and emotionally when you started the relationship? What red flags maybe, did you miss or ignore? What boundaries did you not set that you should be setting? What can you learn about you and about this experience that then you can bring into the next chapter so that you make better choices and you don't find yourself in the same situation over and over again.
[09:38] Karin: So it sounds like you not only help people figure out what they want going forward, but you also help them kind of deconstruct what happened in their last relationship so they can learn from that.
[09:49] Leah Marie: Yes.
[09:53] Karin: How much resistance do you get from people to do that? Do you find that resistance?
[09:59] Leah Marie: Not very often. Luckily. A lot of my clients come to me knowing what we're going to dive into. We talk about where they're struggling or what obstacles they're facing and where they would like to be or how they would like to feel. And then we can kind of dive in and give them actionable steps of how to actually do that. So they're usually pretty open and willing to try these different things because nothing changes if nothing changes. So if whatever you're doing isn't working, you've got to try a different approach.
[10:34] Karin: At what stage do women tend to come to you? Are they in the middle of the divorce or at the end? And how long do they stay with you? What does the timeline look like?
[10:46] Leah Marie: So I actually work with women throughout the whole process. It's funny, right before this, I actually had a client who wanted help on how to have that conversation of I want a divorce. So people come when they're on the precipice of that choice. Women come to me when they're knee deep in the middle of it and then afterwards when they're healing. I would say the majority of my clients come to me after the divorce when they're in a place where they want to figure out what's next for them and how to feel better and how to release that anger and resentment. And so we usually work together. I've had clients work with me for a month or two, and then I have some clients that have been with me for upwards of a year. It really depends on where they're at and how much work they're putting into it and how often we meet.
[11:35] Karin: Right, okay. So if we talk about the women who are really at the precipice of making that choice, looking back at when I got a divorce, and for me, the hardest part was telling the kids -- that was one of the most painful things I've ever done. Is that something that you get involved in? Do you help them have that kind of thing?
[12:03] Leah Marie: Of conversation a little bit? If there's a lot of that going on, then I would usually refer them to a coach that specializes more in that. I mean, I don't specialize in helping children cope with divorce. Right. I work with the moms. But some of the best things that you could do depending on how old your kids are so if you have younger children, they actually write great books that you can find you could find on Amazon or the Internet. And depending on the age group, they have different books that you can get to read to your children to help explain what a divorce is kind of on their level in their terms. And it takes that overwhelm off. Right. Because kids usually handle divorce pretty well as long as the parents are handling it pretty well. If you're approaching that conversation with your kids like it's some huge, big, heavy, stressful, scary thing, you're going to project that onto your children. So even though you know that this is a big deal, you don't necessarily have to present it that way. You can speak to them very matter of fact and just explain what's going on and what's going to change. And really what they're usually most concerned with is, well, how does this affect me? Where am I going to live? What school am I going to go to? So if you keep it pretty matter of fact and don't project all of your own fears and overwhelm onto them, kids are very resilient. Kids don't need married parents. They need happy, healthy ones.
[13:33] Karin: Right. And I know the research says that after two years, kids do post divorce. Kids actually do quite well as long as their parents let them do well. And that can be the tricky part, is all the emotions that come into play and making sure you don't bring your kids into it.
[13:52] Leah Marie: Yes.
[13:55] Karin: So you talked about helping women release their anger and resentment that they're holding onto post divorce. What's some advice you have around that for women who might be listening?
[14:11] Leah Marie: Yeah, there's a few things. First of all, anger in and of itself is usually a mask for something deeper, like hurt or fear. But any emotion is energy in motion. So if you're feeling angry, that's really pent up energy that you have in your body, and you got to get it out. You want to release it, but you want to do it in a productive way. You don't want to do it in a way that will make things more complicated for you. So go outside, get into nature, lift heavy things, hit the gym, go swimming. Create a playlist. Music is very therapeutic. Create a playlist that you want to dance around your house to scream into a pillow, right? Join a kickboxing class. I have a woman who loves her kickboxing class. She ended up buying a heavy bag for her basement. You have to do things that help you release those feelings instead of keeping that pent up inside. And a lot of it also comes through journaling. Journaling is such a great tool because it helps you work through all of those thoughts and feelings when you have when you keep everything inside, it's difficult to sort through those. So journaling is a tool to help you see what you're thinking and what you're feeling more objectively. It also gives you answers to questions that you didn't even know that you had. So I always encourage people to do that and to lower your expectations of your ex. I find that this is very helpful because a lot of times we get frustrated by the way they're acting or behaving or the things that they're saying or the way they're showing up or not showing up in their children's lives once they're co parenting. But most times it's because we're expecting them to behave in a way that we would. Right. So you have to be able to accept people for who they are and not for how you would act in a certain situation. Like, for example, I actually had a coach who I learned this from. Everyone carries around this invisible handbook of all the rules that we think that other people should follow, how people should act and behave and react in certain situations. Right. And then when people don't follow our rulebook, we get mad. And we've all got these invisible handbooks. Right. And so you've got to remember that not everybody is going to abide by your handbook. Some people are seeing the world from a completely different prescription. And once you can really accept that and again meet them where they're at and lower your expectations, you'll find that you get a lot less frustrated with the choices that they're making.
[16:59] Karin: So it sounds like really working on acceptance is a piece of the work.
[17:06] Leah Marie: Yes.
[17:07] Karin: And boy, that can be challenging, can't it?
[17:10] Leah Marie: Absolutely, yes. You want to resist. There's a lot you want to resist. But that acceptance is what's going to help you find peace and really move forward.
[17:22] Karin: Do you actually work on forgiveness?
[17:25] Leah Marie: I do, but more so self forgiveness. I'm not a believer that you have to forgive other people for everything that they've done. I think just, again, accepting what happened, accepting that which we cannot change and forgiving ourselves for allowing those things to happen or not knowing any better at the time.
[17:52] Karin: Yeah. So it sounds like it's really helping you move on, not hanging on to what was or what could have been so that you're freed up to move on and live your life the way you want it.
[18:06] Leah Marie: Yes. Because divorce can come with a lot of what ifs. What if he really was going to change? What if I tried harder, what if I stayed longer? But unless you've got a time machine in your closet, you can't go back and change anything. So a lot of that piece, a lot of letting go of all that self doubt comes with acceptance.
[18:25] Karin: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Do you ever encourage people to have conversations with their ex to kind of debrief what happened if they're in a.
[18:37] Leah Marie: Place that they can do that, yes. Some relationships are unfortunately very high conflict and so no contact is the best contact, but for certain situations, sure. If you can have conversations and to kind of find that common ground or help you guys better understand how you came to the place that you did yeah.
[19:02] Karin: What percentage would you say of the women you work with actually initiated the divorce? 70 to 80 most. I think it's important for people to know that even if it's your idea and you initiated the process, it's still really hard. It's still absolutely painful.
[19:25] Leah Marie: Absolutely. I mean, nobody gets married thinking that they'll get divorced. And usually when a woman decides on divorce, on average, that's something that they've been thinking about for at least two years. It's a long time to consider something like that. That's a long time to not be in a good place. And even when you get to that point, there's a lot to unpack right, of what got you there to your breaking point, where you're feeling like you need to walk away. There's a lot of anger and resentment. There's a lot of guilt, there's shame, there's feelings of failure. Your self confidence takes a hit every time. So there is a lot to work through.
[20:05] Karin: Yeah. And do you have a sense for the main reasons that these women end up initiating the divorce?
[20:20] Leah Marie: It really runs the gamut. It really does. I don't even know if there's one in particular. Some women leave because they're just not happy anymore. They're just not in love anymore. Some some women have been cheated on. Some women are dealing with substance abuse or domestic violence or just lying or manipulation and financial abuse. So there really is all kinds of things that happen that have people end up leaving a marriage.
[20:53] Karin: Yeah. And why is there so much shame that tends to go with divorce?
[21:01] Leah Marie: Because in general, women feel responsible for maintaining the relationships in their life. And so to them, they see it as like a failure. They couldn't make it work. They couldn't do it. And shame also comes from our society, unfortunately, even though it's such a common thing, divorce is so common, there's still stigma. And so we feel shame because we feel like it is something that we failed at. It's something that we couldn't make work, and it's something that we define ourselves by. Sometimes, like a divorce means something about you, who you are as a person. Again, a lot of that comes down to acceptance and self forgiveness and being honest with yourself. There's no honor in staying in a relationship that isn't good for you. The success of a relationship isn't determined by how many anniversaries you could make it to. There's a lot more that goes into it. And if a relationship has run its course, then it's run its course, and that's okay.
[22:15] Karin: Yeah. That really resonates with me, that feeling like you're supposed to make this work somehow, but it takes too.
[22:28] Leah Marie: You can only do so much. We try and we try, and sometimes it's just not meant to be.
[22:35] Karin: And I think that I definitely heard this from friends when I was going through it was the, but you're supposed to be there for your kids, and this is going to damage your kids. And what I really came to realize is actually, no. Staying in an unhappy relationship is bad for my kids.
[22:53] Leah Marie: Absolutely.
[22:54] Karin: Because you're modeling something.
[22:56] Leah Marie: Yes. And that's where a lot of that mom guilt comes from, is, I'm ruining my kids. Right. But studies show that there's actually a lot of positive effects. Like, divorce doesn't only have negative effects on kids. That's just not true. There's a lot of good things that can come from it. Like you said, for example, you're modeling what a relationship looks like. You're showing your kids that it's okay to put your well being first. You're prioritizing yourself. One of the questions I always have my clients ask themselves when they're kind of struggling with that mom guilt is, if your kids were in your situation, what would you want them to do? Would you tell them, we'll suck it up and deal with it? You made a promise to someone. Most likely not. You'd say no. Get out. Come stay on my couch. Let me help you. You don't want your kids staying in a relationship that they don't want to be in. So you've got to lead from the front, right?
[23:51] Karin: Yeah, absolutely. I believe that. How can people support their friends who are going through divorce?
[24:00] Leah Marie: I think just listening, just checking in again. I think it's natural to want to give the best advice that we can. Right. But not all of that advice is practical. So you want to kind of take it with a grain of salt, maybe. But I think just listening, supporting, spending time together, sometimes you just want to offer ideas. Let's go join this hiking group. Let's try a new hobby together. Let's stay connected. Right. Because divorce, like we said, is so isolating. Maybe just doing a coffee date over FaceTime once a week in your kitchen where you don't even have to go anywhere if your life gets busy or just getting in some kind of group text to help you feel like you're more connected.
[24:52] Karin: Yeah, that emotional support is really important during that time. And tell me about the divorce team.
[24:59] Leah Marie: Yes. So, through my work and through social media, I have connected over the years with other divorce coaches, other women who have also been divorced, but they specialize in different stages of divorce. So earlier this year, we decided to collaborate and get together and run workshops for women. So it is myself. So I help women through the mental and emotional side. I've also teamed up with Coach Samantha Boss, who is a parenting plan guru specializing in high conflict. So she helps people get their parenting plans together, which is so important. Alex Beatty, who is a divorce planning coach. So if you're in those early stages and you're feeling overwhelmed, she's the one to go to. She can help you with figuring out what documents you need and what kinds of questions you should be asking your attorney and the consultations and financials and all that stuff. And then Ebony Byrne who's a divorce money coach so she can help you get your finances in order and budget and figure out what the long term plan is or get out of divorce debt. And so we've all gotten together and monthly we hold a workshop where we give all of great tools and some advice for each kind of stage of the divorce. And there's also a Q and A, so anybody who's enrolled gets to just come and hang out and ask us whatever questions they have. That's been great.
[26:26] Karin: Yeah. That's nice to have support from so many different perspectives.
[26:32] Leah Marie: Definitely.
[26:33] Karin: And I can imagine based upon my experience with friends going through divorce, that just the money piece alone can be a big barrier for a lot of women. They're really scared about how am I going to support myself for my kids if I go through this?
[26:51] Leah Marie: Definitely. Especially stay at home moms. If they haven't had a regular job or their own source of income, they can be pretty stressed about it. So yeah, it's important to get help because there's always a way, there's always a way out, there's always options. Sometimes you just need to ask the right people.
[27:11] Karin: Yeah. So what else do you want our listeners to know about going through divorce? And what are some things that women can think about and do to really help themselves get through that?
[27:31] Leah Marie: Yeah, I think first and foremost it's important for you to know that you're not alone. Even though you may feel very alone, you're not alone. And so connect with others. Join support groups. I have a support group. It's a private group on Facebook. It's called divorced and empowered. It's wonderful. The women in there are amazing and so kind and generous and they offer their help. And what's great about that is you can connect with women who are kind of in the same situation you are and also women who are further along in the process so they can kind of give you that light at the end of the tunnel. And it's important to make sure you're prioritizing your self care. It's really easy when you're going through such a huge life transition and something so stressful that you put yourself on the back burner because you're juggling so many things. But really you need to do the opposite. This is the time more than ever that you have to take care of yourself. Make sure you're getting quality sleep. That's going to help you regulate your emotions and deal with the anxiety and depression. Make sure you're drinking enough water. You're eating the foods that nourish you. Get outside. Get some hobbies when you're going, not necessarily through the divorce process itself, but once things start to calm down and you're thinking, okay, well now what? Who am I and what do I want to do now? Get a creative outlet. Get hobbies. Because that's going to help you pass the time. Find fulfillment. It helps you build your confidence and it creates opportunities to meet new people, to meet like minded people.
[29:06] Karin: Yeah, absolutely. I think that's great advice. Getting out and figuring out what you really want to do can be such a way, kind of a bridge to the other side, I think.
[29:19] Leah Marie: Definitely.
[29:20] Karin: And it can be such an opportunity. It might be that you never felt like you really could do that when you were married.
[29:26] Leah Marie: Yeah. That's huge. And that's right. That's one of the things is when we're doing that self reflection and we're trying to find that acceptance, it's trying to see what kinds of things, what are the silver linings? Right. What benefits can you pull from this situation? What can you do now that you couldn't do before? What opportunities do you have now that you didn't have before? And those are the things that you want to focus on and take advantage of.
[29:51] Karin: Yeah, because I can imagine at the beginning of the process, it's really hard for women to see that because they don't really know exactly where they're going yet. They just see what they're leaving.
[30:02] Leah Marie: Yes. There's a grieving process. Divorce really is like a death. You're not only grieving the loss of a partner, you're grieving the life you thought you were going to have, or you might be grieving your family home if you have to move out and move into somewhere new. And so there's a lot and sometimes it's even more complicated than somebody who actually passed away because you're grieving the loss of someone you technically still have access to. Right. That gets pretty tricky.
[30:31] Karin: Yeah. And yet there is a life beyond.
[30:39] Leah Marie: Yes, absolutely. A beautiful, fulfilling life.
[30:42] Karin: And what have you seen in the women that you have worked with? How have you seen their lives change?
[30:50] Leah Marie: One of my clients, I love it because we've become friends on Facebook. And so now I get to get the behind the scenes and see pictures and things. And she's moved on. She has met the love of her life. She came to me, she was a little later in life. She had been married about 30 years in her fifty s. And so she was scared about making that big transition. But we got her again to the other side and she's loving it. She met this amazing man. They're traveling and she's just so happy and feels so fulfilled. And her children are on board. She's got some girls that are in their twenty s and they're so happy for her and she is shining bright and I just love to see it.
[31:33] Karin: That's wonderful. And I also imagine that there are some women who decide, you know, I just don't need to be with somebody. I'm happy with being with myself. And that feels good, too.
[31:45] Leah Marie: Absolutely. Yes. If that's what you want. That comes down to being really honest with yourself. If you feel like you just enjoy your life and you have. Your friends and your hobby and your work and you're doing things that fulfill you and you're good on your own. Wonderful, beautiful. I love to see that as well. And then some people just really love being partnered up with someone and enjoy having a relationship, and so if that's what you want, that's out there for you, too.
[32:13] Karin: Yeah. It's creating the life you really want.
[32:17] Leah Marie: Yes.
[32:18] Karin: That's great. So what role does love play in the work that you do?
[32:25] Leah Marie: So love for me personally or love in general?
[32:30] Karin: Could be either one or both.
[32:34] Leah Marie: For me, I love helping women. I've always been a girl's girl. If your crown is crooked, I'm going to fix it for you. I just love seeing someone go from feeling lost or broken or not good enough to seeing them really thrive and to find peace and to feel confident again and to learn how to love themselves. It's like, really it's like that cliche, like, turn it into a butterfly. That is something that it just makes me feel so good and I can't get enough of it. I want to do it every day, forever.
[33:16] Karin: Sounds like you really love what you do.
[33:18] Leah Marie: I do. It's wonderful.
[33:21] Karin: And how can people find you and find the Divorce Team and learn more?
[33:26] Leah Marie: Yeah, you can go to my website. It's mindfullyready.com. That's mindfullyready.com. Everything is there. If you want to join my support group, I also have a free empowerment guide and training video to help you gain acceptance and build self esteem and gain clarity on what you want next. You can download that. You can come get information on the divorce team workshop that we hold each month. You can hop on a consultation with me. I've got private coaching, I've got an online course. All kinds of stuff is there for you.
[33:57] Karin: So lots of resources. Yeah, well, anything else you want to leave us with before we go?
[34:05] Leah Marie: Just remember that your happiness is your responsibility.
[34:11] Karin: Yeah, good advice. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Leah Marie. I really appreciate your time and all that you shared with us today. That's really great.
[34:22] Leah Marie: Thank you so much for having me.
[34:23] Karin: Thanks for joining us today on Love is Us. If you like the show, I would so appreciate it if you left me a review. If you have questions and would like to follow me on social media, you can find me on Instagram where I'm the love and connection coach. Special thanks to Tim Gorman for my music, Aly Shaw for my artwork, and Ross Burdick for tech and editing assistance. Again, I'm so glad you joined us today because the best way to bring more love into your life and into the world is to be loved. The best way to be loved is to love yourself and those around you. Let's learn and be inspired together.
