You are lying there, maybe alone, maybe next to someone, and still feeling miles apart. You go to that same place of dissociation during sex. The spark, that erotic aliveness, is nowhere to be found. You have done everything right, checked all the boxes, excelled in so many areas, and now you are asking, what is wrong with me? Am I broken?
Low libido, low desire, difficulty getting aroused or staying aroused, pain with sex, trouble orgasming. These are the reasons women come to me. But for superwomen, low libido is rarely a true arousal problem. Most high-achieving women do not have a broken accelerator. They have a brake pedal on the floor.
Stress. Perfectionistic tendencies. Performance pressure. Mental load. Resentment. Relational power dynamics. Your body is not broken. The conditions are wrong. Your super traits are survival mechanisms, and they are costing you your desire.
I break down the dual-control model in terms that actually make sense to high achievers. I talk about male-centered sex, pleasure education, knowing what you like, giving real-time guidance, and when mismatched libidos are not a communication problem but a power dynamic problem.
If this is you, explore audio erotica this week and notice what lands in your body. Ask yourself, do I truly love the sex we are having? And if you want a clear, personalized next step, book a Pleasure Path Assessment HERE. One hour. Tangible tips. No more guessing.
You are not broken.
Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE.
If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz.
-Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE.
If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.
1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins
Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]
CHAPTERS
00:00 The Loneliness of the High Achiever
02:15 Superwoman Trait
04:45 Understanding the Dual Control Model
07:10 Why Great Sex is a Priority for High Achievers
09:30 Pleasure Research and Learning What You Like
11:50 Communication vs Power Dynamics in Relationships
13:45 3 Steps to Take This Week for Better Sex
