Are we unknowingly sabotaging our own success and well-being by adhering to an unrealistic standard of perfection?
Today, Brooke Jean explores the intricate relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, particularly in the context of modern motherhood. She delves into how these two elements feed off each other, creating a cycle that many mothers find themselves trapped in. The more one strives for an unattainable ideal, the more likely they are to encounter anxiety and shame, ultimately undermining their own goals and well-being. Brooke draws from personal experiences and professional insights to illustrate this cycle and provides a compassionate guide to recognizing and breaking free from these self-imposed constraints.
Tune in to this week's episode of the Unperfected Pod and be empowered to embrace imperfection and redefine success in a healthier and self-loving way.
[00:00 - 07:59] Introduction
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Brooke Jean describes the exhaustion of caring for her sick child while juggling work and family responsibilities, highlighting the messy life of a working mom
She acknowledges that almost every mom experiences some form of anxiety, which is why she regularly incorporates anxiety-related topics and techniques in her podcast episodes
[08:00 - 12:46] From Survival to Self-Sabotage
Perfectionism is often a trauma response rooted in fear, developed during early life as a survival mechanism
This strive for perfection is frequently about seeking safety, love, and acceptance, rather than just being the best
Perfectionism leads to a mindset focused on inadequacy, causing negative self-comparison and self-criticism
The stress from constantly trying to meet unrealistic standards releases hormones that manifest as anxiety
[12:47 - 22:18] Caught in the Perfectionism Trap
Perfectionism leads to anxiety, creating a cycle of discomfort and self-sabotage
Self-sabotaging behaviors often emerge as coping mechanisms for the discomfort caused by anxiety
This cycle often results in a shame spiral, further exacerbating feelings of inadequacy.
The pursuit of unattainable perfection can be inherently self-sabotaging and unsustainable
Moving away from perfectionism involves awareness, self-compassion, and understanding the deeper needs driving these behaviors
[22:19 - 34:07] 5 Steps to Break Free of the Perfectionism Cycle
Awareness: Recognizing the trap of perfectionism and its link to anxiety is the first essential step.
Self-Compassion: Understand that perfectionism often stems from a survival mechanism or a trauma response, and treat yourself with kindness
Rework Deep-Rooted Belief: Engage in activities like hypnosis, journaling, or EMDR to change the underlying beliefs of unworthiness and not being enough
Habit Work: Replace perfectionism-driven behaviors with habits that promote joy, self-care, and enoughness
Check out Atomic Habits by James Clear
Redefine Success: Lower the bar for what success means, focusing more on what truly matters and less on societal pressures
[34:08 - 42:36] Closing Segment
Brooke Jean advises opting out of the perfectionism cycle, managing anxiety effectively, and choosing a new path to success that values the present
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Tweetable Quotes:
"Understanding that you have fallen into this trap of perfectionism and anxiety out of survival, out of trauma response… There's something really innocent about that that deserves a lot of self-compassion. " – Brooke Jean
"Our habits determine the quality of our lives." – Brooke Jean
"Can we collectively lower the bar? And not because we don't deserve greatness, we don't deserve abundance… But we all need to stop trying to do them all. You can lower your bar. You can downshift. Change the game, change the definition for success." – Brooke Jean
You can connect with Brooke Jean through her:
Website: Brooke Jean LLC
Facebook: Brooke Jean
LinkedIn: Brooke Jean
Twitter: Brooke Jean
Instagram: @brookejeanunperfected
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