Why do we subconsciously choose partners who mirror our deepest wounds, and how can we use this awareness to grow in our relationships?
In episode 61, your host Brooke Jean explores the complexities of marriage and long-term relationships, particularly during the challenging season of balancing work, family, and personal growth. Brooke shares her 20-year relationship with her partner, Tony, and explores the psychological reasons behind why marriage can be so difficult. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our partners often serve as mirrors, reflecting to us the areas where we need to heal and grow. In this episode, Brook also talks about the impact of generational trauma on the way we understand relationships. This is a must-listen if you are in this season of life, in which you are a high-achieving mom and are struggling to balance your married life, family time, and business. Here you will find practical advice to overcome these difficulties and feel supported.
[00:00 - 03:36] Intro
Why is Marriage So Hard?
Brooke explains what we will hear in the podcast
4 reasons why marriage is difficult
[03:36 - 13:08] Brooke's 20-Year Relationship Journey with Tony
Brooke shares the story of how she met her partner, Tony, and their early challenges
The impact of co-parenting and raising children on their relationship
The struggle to prioritize their relationship
[13:09 - 20:36] 1st Reason: Your Partner is Your Mirror
Why is it important to normalize that marriage is hard?
Your partner shows you what you need to work on
Key questions to pause and ask yourself
[20:37 - 21:18] 2nd Reason: Your Partner is Not Your Pain Reliever
Choosing a partner that we believe they are going to take the pain away
How the couple we choose shows the hole in us.
Turning frustration into opportunities.
[21:19 - 32:27] 3rd Reason: The Marriage as a Living Entity
Relationships require constant nurturing
The challenge of finding time and energy to invest in the relationship during busy seasons of life
The importance of prioritizing the relationship and making intentional efforts to connect
[32:28 - 38:06] 4th Reason: Generational Trauma and Relationship Models
The impact of the relationship models we witnessed in our parents and grandparents
The lack of vulnerability, communication, and intimacy in previous generations
The desire for a deeper, more connected relationship than what we may have seen modeled
[38:09 - 40:59] Navigating the Challenges of Marriage
The struggle to balance personal growth, healing, and the demands of family life
The importance of open communication and expressing our needs and desires to our partners
The role of attachment styles and relationship patterns in our interactions with our partners
[41:00 - 50:00] Practical Tips for Nurturing Your Relationship
Naming and normalizing the challenges of marriage in this season of life
Looking inward and taking responsibility for our own role in the relationship
Communicating our intentions and desires to our partners in a loving, non-blaming way
Tweetable quotes:
"When we name it, marriage is hard in this season, and we normalize that, it immediately takes a layer of shame and pressure off." - Brooke Jean
"The relationship is a living, breathing entity that needs life breathed into it, that needs nurturing and nourishment in order for it to succeed." - Brooke Jean
"We choose relationships that we subconsciously think will mend our deepest wounds, but what we actually do is attract the partner that will mirror those wounds to us so we can become aware and heal them on our own." - Brooke Jean
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Website: Brooke Jean LLC
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