Are you considering egg freezing? In this episode of Quiet The Clock, host Beth Gulotta interviews Jen, a school counselor turned higher education professional and nutrition coach, about her egg freezing journey and experiences in her thirties.
Jen shares that her egg freezing journey has been an emotional rollercoaster, with feelings of excitement, sadness, anxiety, worry, fear, regret, and resentment. While she is happy and excited about the potential outcome, she admits that if it were up to her, she wouldn't have to go through this path. However, she acknowledges that it is a privilege to have the option to freeze her eggs.
Beth asks Jen about navigating the uncertainty of dating, motherhood, and egg freezing, and whether she feels like her time is limited to build the partnership, marriage, and family she dreams of. Jen shares that she has been focusing on her career and health in her thirties, striving for promotions and becoming certified as a nutrition coach. She also talks about the shift from a superficial focus on aesthetics to a more internal focus on feeling healthy and strong.
Jen and Beth discuss the uncertainty and financial investment involved in egg freezing. Jen acknowledges that while there is more research and data available now, there is still a lot of uncertainty about the numbers.
Beth shares her own perspective, framing the number of eggs she was able to freeze as buying herself 10 months of trying at 34 years old. Jen agrees that this is an interesting way to think about it, but also notes that egg freezing doesn't provide a definite answer or cure-all solution.
The conversation then shifts to the topic of friendships and how they can be affected by different life stages. Jen shares that she has a close group of friends from elementary school, but their dynamics have changed as some have gotten married and had children. She also discusses the challenges of discussing her egg freezing journey with friends who may not fully understand the process.
Overall, this episode highlights the importance of taking control of our own fertility and making choices that prioritize our own goals and aspirations over societal expectations. It also emphasizes the importance of supporting and uplifting each other as women, and not projecting our own insecurities onto others.
As always, I encourage you to listen to the full episode for more insights and perspectives from Jen and Beth. Don't forget to subscribe to "Quiet the Clock" on your favorite podcast platform and leave a review if you enjoy the content.
Quotes:
"it's not so much a choice, it's a great option and it's a privilege that I'm able to do it."
"I'm very goal driven, very... likes to make lists and check them off the list."
"Think about it on the other side of this, these follicles would eventually be embryos that then you're gonna use for ivf. Are you gonna go through ivf? how many times would you be willing to go through it?"
I don't invest my time unless I see real potential with something and I would expect the same in return."
"just be there...just be present".
Key Points:
Navigating uncertainty [00:00:42] Beth introduces the podcast and talks about navigating uncertainty in dating, motherhood, and egg freezing.
Jen's egg freezing journey [00:02:33] Beth interviews Jen about her egg freezing journey and how she came to consider it.
Career and wellness focus in thirties [00:04:02] Jen talks about her focus on career and health and wellness in her thirties, including getting certified as a nutrition coach.
Considering Egg Freezing [00:08:23] Jen shares her thought process and timeline for considering egg freezing, including her initial appointment in 2021 and her decision to delay the process.
First Appointment and Ultrasound [00:10:08] Jen discusses her first appointment and ultrasound at Loom Fertility, including her positive initial results and the emotional impact of her declining numbers during her second appointment.
Regret and Self-Blame [00:14:06] Jen reflects on her decision to delay egg freezing and experiences regret and self-blame after her declining numbers during her second appointment.
Perfectionism and Control [00:14:38] Jen discusses her struggle with perfectionism and control in her egg freezing journey, and how hard it is to accept that sometimes there is nothing you can do to change the outcome.
Counting Follicles [00:16:11] Jen talks about how the number of follicles and the uncertainty around it can be tough, and how she counted them on the screen during appointments.
The Number of Frozen Eggs [00:19:12] Jen shares her experience of getting 13 follicles and freezing 10, and how her friend's perspective helped her put things in perspective and be grateful for what she has.
Uncertainty about egg freezing [00:21:44] The speakers discuss the uncertainty surrounding egg freezing and the difficulty in predicting outcomes.
Financial considerations [00:24:00] The financial investment of egg freezing is discussed, including the initial cost and the larger cost of using the eggs in the future.
Emotional journey [00:28:10] The emotional journey of egg freezing is explored, including feelings of excitement, sadness, anxiety, worry, regret, resentment, and privilege.
Regret and Resentment [00:29:09] Jen talks about regret and resentment in her life, particularly in her dating life, and how she has been doing an inventory of her past relationships.
Challenges of Dating [00:32:30] Jen and Beth discuss the challenges of dating and how it can be hard to look back and be hard on oneself for not making different decisions.
Outlook on Life [00:35:32] Jen shares her goal-oriented outlook on life and how she is training to run the New York City Marathon.
Training for the New York City Marathon [00:36:10] Jen talks about how she decided to train for the New York City Marathon after completing the egg freezing process.
Friendship Dynamics [00:37:51] Jen and Beth discuss the complexities of friendship dynamics when it comes to motherhood, marriage, and being single.
People's Misconceptions about Egg Freezing [00:41:57] Jen shares some of the misconceptions people have about egg freezing, including assumptions about single motherhood and the process of injections.
Egg Freezing Journey [00:43:37] Jen shares her experience of freezing her eggs, including the emotional moments and the support she received from her partner.
Insensitive Comments [00:44:54] Jen and Beth discuss insensitive comments made by friends and acquaintances about motherhood and childlessness.
Advice for Women Considering Egg Freezing [00:47:47] Jen advises women to explore their options, not plan their future based on potential, and live in the present.
