Michelle and Joanna return just days before Christmas and smack in the middle of Joanna's birthday season — which, according to Joanna, is a legally protected holiday requiring its own wrapping paper and absolutely no present splitting. Part A / Part B gifts can get fucked.
Mike is barely hanging on as fantasy football semifinals consume his soul, while Michelle and Joanna are fully entertained by themselves and proudly obnoxious about it. We uncover that half the reason Mike keeps coming to the studio is because Kati won't let him stay home on big football weekends, and honestly… fair.
Michelle reveals she spent an entire week covered in hives, possibly triggered by a night out with Joanna and Alex — or maybe karma. The itching got so bad she had to remove her bra at work, which immediately sends Alex spiraling into hopeful theories about lactose intolerance so he can finally roast her for eating vegan cheese.
The Dance Dads take over a sports bar for Thursday Night Football, only to discover it's also karaoke night — a cruel and unusual punishment no one asked for. Joanna quizzes the group on best gifts ever, forgets almost everything Alex has given her (except the party bus rentals), recalls being disappointed that the Chunnel wasn't see-through, and admits she expected to look up and see the ocean.
Venmo comments get spicy, "pretend sportsball" is officially canon, and things wrap up with an honest discussion about fairy porn, vivid descriptions, and why Michelle and Joanna keep turning pages.
It's loud, it's messy, it's inappropriate — and it's exactly what a platinum hangover feels like.
