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I am joined by Ivan Hardcastle, an experienced occupational therapist and parent coach from Idaho with nearly two decades of expertise. Ivan shares his journey from therapy rooms to parent coaching, highlighting the powerful impact that empowered, informed parents can have on their children’s development especially in the teen years.
We take a deep dive into the realities of adolescence, busting the myth that the teenage years are doomed to chaos and disconnection. Instead, Ivan reframes teens’ push for independence as a natural, beautiful part of development. The episode is full of practical wisdom on supporting teens’ changing brains and bodies, managing explosive emotions, and fostering respectful, connected family relationships. With stories from his own family and actionable strategies, including how to balance boundaries with autonomy and why modeling self-care matters, Ivan equips parents to engage their teens with confidence and compassion.
In this episode you'll hear about:
- Ivan’s experience as a pediatric occupational therapist in Idaho
- Motivation for moving into parent coaching
- The critical impact of parent involvement in therapy outcomes
- Transformation of home environments when parents are engaged
- Parenting Teenagers: Changing Perspectives
- Common stigmas and negative perceptions about parenting teens
- Sarah’s positive experiences with her own teenagers
- Recognition that parenting teens can be challenging but also rewarding
- Teen Development: What’s Really Happening?
- Physical, emotional, and neurological changes in adolescence
- The drive for independence and how it manifests as “rebellion” or “angst”
- The necessity of teens developing their own skill sets and opinions
- Ivan’s observations with his own children’s development
- Reframing Teen Independence and Emotional Growth
- Recognizing the beauty and necessity of teens seeking independence
- Understanding emotional reactions as part of healthy brain development
- The importance of parents’ attitudes toward these changes
- Parental Self-Reflection and Growth
- The challenge and opportunity for parents to adapt their approaches
- Awareness that parents themselves are continually “growing up”
- Emphasizing lifelong learning by modeling adaptability for kids
- The Generational Gap & Today’s Teen Experience
- Differences between parenting in the past (e.g., the 1990s) and today
- Acknowledgment of new pressures teens face (technology, social media, societal change)
- Recognizing that today’s environment presents unique challenges
- Parents and teens both doing their best with available resources
- Parents identifying and utilizing support systems
- Bridging the gap between parents and teens to foster success together
- Risks of being too authoritarian (overly directive) or too hands-off
- The goal of finding a middle ground—modeling and invitation
- The significance of parental emotional regulation and self-awareness
- How parents’ emotional states affect teens
- The Value of Modeling Rest and Mindfulness
- Challenging cultural norms equating “busyness” with worth
- The importance of modeling self-care, rest, and mindfulness for teens
- Embracing a “full” life over a “busy” life
- Practical Strategies for Connection and Collaboration
- Using chore charts and shifting from commands to invitations
- Implementing “notice and respond” approaches to household responsibilities
- Personal examples of increasing teen ownership/responsibility
- Dedication to preserving and growing the parent-teen bond
- Creating Opportunities for One-on-One Connection
- Scheduling individual time with each child (e.g., “daddy-daughter dates”)
- Adapting activities to each child’s personality and interests
- Using special routines (like sushi outings or art sessions) for deeper connection
- Fostering Sibling Relationships
- Intentional creation of spaces for siblings to connect
- Rotating opportunities for family members to interact one-on-one
- The importance of sibling bonds alongside parent-child relationships
Links and Resources From Today's Show
Connect With Our Guest, Ivan Hardcastle, OTR/L
Ivan is a pediatric occupational therapist who has been working with parents and children for over 18 years, focused on sensory processing, emotional challenges, and behavioral challenges. Last year he started an online parent coaching program to better meet the needs of parents who become overwhelmed by the challenges faced today meeting the needs of children (and yes, this includes teens!), including those on the spectrum, have emotional, or behavioral challenges. He loves to see families thrive and for parents to be empowered in their own homes to success, happiness, and peace.
