What if the people who trigger you the most—the mother-in-law who feels controlling, the "lazy" kids, the blow-up guy in your Saturday foursome—aren't actually the problem?
You are (gulp).
What if they're mirrors?
In this episode of The Scratch Golfer's Mindset Podcast, I dive into the uncomfortable truth that the traits you judge, resent, or react to in others very often reflect the parts of you that you deny, repress, or flat-out hate.
You'll hear raw stories from my own life and from clients who realized that the selfishness, complacency, or lack of drive they saw in others… was alive and well inside themselves. And when they finally owned those parts instead of fighting them, everything changed: more peace, more energy, more honesty, and better golf.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How "triggers" on the golf course, at home, and at work are actually mirrors reflecting disowned parts of you.
- Why owning traits like "selfish," "controlling," or "lazy" can free you instead of condemn you.
- The basics of Parts Theory and how seeing emotions as "parts" reduces their intensity and control over you.
- How repressing parts of yourself quietly drains your energy and keeps you stuck in the same patterns on and off the course.
- A powerful reframe of selfishness into being selflessly selfish—and how that makes you a better golfer, parent, and leader.
- How core beliefs like "I'll never get better" sabotage your performance, no matter how hard you work.
- A journaling question you can use today to turn your biggest emotional triggers into your most powerful teachers.
If you're willing to be radically honest with yourself, this episode can help you reclaim the energy you've been spending running from your own reflection—and redirect it into becoming the golfer, parent, partner, and leader you know you're capable of being.
Get your pencils ready and start listening.
P.S. Curious to learn more about the results my clients are experiencing and what they say about working with me? Read more here.
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High-Performance Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching
Paul Salter - known as The Golf Hypnotherapist - is a High-Performance Hypnotherapist and Mindset Coach who leverages hypnosis and powerful subconscious reprogramming techniques to help golfers of all ages and skill levels overcome the mental hazards of their minds so they can shoot lower scores and play to their potential.
He has over 16 years of coaching experience working with high performers in various industries, helping them get unstuck, out of their own way, and unlock their full potential.
Click here to learn more about how high-performance hypnotherapy and mindset coaching can help you get out of your own way and play to your potential on (and off) the course.
Instagram: @thegolfhypnotherapist
Key Takeaways:
- Everyone in your life is a mirror. The behaviors you judge or react to most strongly in others—anger, laziness, selfishness, manipulation—are often traits that exist in you, especially the parts you don't want to see.
- You are made of many "parts," not one fixed identity. There's a part of you that's confident, a part that's fearful, a part that's lazy, a part that's driven. Seeing these as "parts" creates healthy distance so you're not completely fused with any one state.
- What you resist, persists. The harder you fight against a trait—"I'm not selfish, I'm not controlling, I'm not lazy"—the more power it quietly holds over your thoughts, emotions, and decisions.
- Triggers are invitations, not inconveniences. The next time someone pisses you off, embarrasses you, or makes your blood boil, you have a choice: react and blame… or pause and ask, "What part of me is this showing me?" That's where the real growth begins.
Key Quotes:
- "What triggers you has the opportunity to teach you—if you're willing to look in the mirror instead of out the window."
- "You're not just one thing all the time; you're a collection of parts—and your work is to become whole, not perfect."
- "The traits you hate in others are often the traits you refuse to admit exist in you."
- "What you resist persists. The more you fight 'I'm not selfish,' the more that part quietly runs the show."
- "Being selflessly selfish means you put yourself first so you can show up better for everyone else in your life."
- "Golf is a mirror of your personal development—and the people in your life are mirrors of the parts of you that you've tried to bury."
- "When you accept every part of you, you stop wasting energy hiding and start using that energy to become the best version of you."
Time Stamps:
- 00:00: Understanding Triggers and Self-Reflection
- 02:51: The Holographic Universe and Parts Theory
- 05:45: Mirrors in Relationships: Recognizing Ourselves in Others
- 10:36: The Concept of Selfishness: A New Perspective
- 15:51: Triggers as Teachers: Learning from Emotional Responses
- 22:30: Embracing Wholeness: The Path to Authenticity
