Have you ever felt invisible? Even while showing up, engaging, and trying to connect?
In this episode of Diamonds in Dumpster Fires, Melie explores the quiet loneliness of feeling overlooked, forgotten, or ghosted. She talks about why moments like repeated introductions, unanswered texts, and fading connections can hurt so deeply, and why that pain isn't a personal flaw: it's human wiring.
This episode blends personal stories, faith, and neuroscience to unpack:
Why feeling unseen hits harder than we expect
What research says about social exclusion and belonging
How ghosting and disappearing connections affect our nervous system
Why "reminding people you exist" often costs us more than it gives
Practical, gentle resilience tools to help you stay grounded and self-respecting
You'll walk away with reassurance, language for what you've been feeling, and simple ways to protect your dignity while still honoring your need for connection.
If you're curious about the science behind why invisibility hurts so much, these studies and summaries are a great place to start:
The Need-Threat Model of Social Exclusion (Kipling Williams & colleagues)
Explains how being ignored or excluded threatens core human needs like belonging, self-esteem, and meaning.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5056179/
Why Social Rejection Feels So Painful
Research showing that social exclusion activates distress systems in the brain similar to physical pain.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4870146/
Why Remembering Names Is Harder Than We Think
Research on face–name memory showing how attention and memory systems affect whether we remember people, especially in busy social settings.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3230827/
Social Exclusion, Ghosting, and Emotional Distress
Research exploring how being ignored or cut off without clarity increases rumination and distress.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5056179/
If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend who might need the reminder that they matter — without having to chase visibility.
You can connect with Melie on Instagram at @meliewilliams and share your story there. 💛
Until next time, be well.
