Change is exhausting - even when it's a good change. In this episode, I share a story about my own recent emotional roller coaster ride and walk you through the neuroscience and psychology of why navigating change hits us harder than we think. You'll learn practical frameworks to understand what's happening in your brain and a simple exercise to map what you're actually carrying so you can take better care of yourself through transitions.
In this episode, you'll hear about:
- The SCARF Model: Neuroscientist David Rock's framework reveals five ways your brain perceives threat during change - Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. Understanding these helps you recognize why you're feeling "off."
- Change vs. Transition: William Bridges teaches us that change is external (the event), but transition is internal (the psychological journey). You can't skip the hard middle part.
- The Three Phases of Transition: Every change involves an Ending (letting go), a Neutral Zone (the uncomfortable in-between), and a New Beginning. You might be in different phases for different changes happening simultaneously.
- Why Positive Change Still Registers as Stress: Your brain doesn't distinguish between good and bad change - it all requires adaptation, and adaptation requires energy.
- The Change Heat Map Exercise: A practical three-step process to list your changes, feel the feelings without judgment, and visualize what you're navigating across four quadrants (positive/negative and chosen/imposed).
Highlights of the Episode:
- My Personal Emotional Roller Coaster Story: How an innocent comment from my husband triggered an emotional reaction - and what it taught me about the invisible weight of navigating multiple changes.
- The SCARF Threat Response: Learn which of the five areas might be activated for you right now and why that matters for your emotional regulation.
- The Power of Naming Emotions: Using Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart to move beyond "stressed" or "overwhelmed" and identify what you're actually feeling.
- Three Practical Strategies:
- Lower Your Expectations: Give yourself permission to operate at 75% during seasons of significant change
- Create Quiet Presence: Release tension through breathing, exercise, or time in nature
- Lean Into Your Support Network: Build deep, honest friendships with self-aware people who can hold space for your messiness.
Resources Mentioned:
- Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart: A comprehensive guide to understanding and naming 87 different emotions and experiences - essential for the "feel the feelings" step of the Change Heat Map.
- David Rock's SCARF Model: Research on how our brains respond to social threats during change.
- William Bridges' Transition Model: The definitive framework for understanding the psychological journey through change.
Links & References:
- Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal.
- Bridges, W. (2009). Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change (3rd ed.). Da Capo Press.
- Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Random House.
Join the Conversation:
What practices help you stay grounded during overwhelming times? Share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn or Instagram @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.
Don't forget to Subscribe & Share:
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another leader who might need this message right now.
To learn more about my services, subscribe to my newsletter, and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @ClaireLaughlinConsulting.
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! New episodes are released weekly, and we'd love for you to share them with others who might benefit.
Until next time, lead the way!
