If you’re a dad looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter, the latest episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast is a can’t-miss listen. Hosted by Dr. Christopher Lewis, this episode features a heartfelt conversation with Alex Greenwood, father of an almost 17-year-old daughter, who opens up about the everyday realities, challenges, and rewards of being a present and engaged dad.
The Power of “Hey, Dad” Moments
One of the episode’s core themes is the importance of creating and treasuring meaningful moments—sometimes in the simplest ways. Alex shares about his “hey dad” moments, where his daughter pops downstairs to sit and talk, checking in on him and sharing her world. These moments, whether brief or lasting for hours, have become the heartbeat of their connection. As Alex says, “these conversations can last anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours… and we talk about everything.” These authentic check-ins remind us that genuine connection isn’t built in grand gestures—it’s nurtured in consistency and willingness to simply be available.
Balancing Guidance and Independence
Another central theme is the delicate balance between guiding and giving independence. Alex describes the challenge of working demanding hours, yet prioritizing availability for his daughter, whether it’s teaching her to change windshield wiper fluid or sending a supportive text on a long workday. He emphasizes that, especially with teens, “availability” is key—not forcing connection, but being there when she seeks it.
Intentional Parenting: Preparing for Life’s Realities
Alex and his wife have been intentional about preparing their daughter not for control, but for independence. They’ve communicated their evolving roles—from “bosses” when she was young, to “supervisors” during college, and eventually “consultants” and “friends.” Through practical life lessons—whether teaching financial literacy through a make-your-own business project or discussing the realities of loss—they empower her with resilience, critical thinking, and empathy.
Conversations that Matter
The episode doesn’t shy away from tough topics: discussing impermanence and loss, embracing vulnerability, and fostering trust through honest communication. Alex reminds fellow dads to “give yourself permission to be human” and always talk to your kids with respect.
Listen to Grow as a Dad
If you’re seeking real-life stories, practical tips, and inspiration for meaningful father-daughter connections, tune in to this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast. Be reminded that being the dad your daughter needs is about showing up, growing together, and cherishing the journey—bumps, laughs, and all.
Listen now at dadanddaughterconnection.com, and start building those memorable moments today.
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TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.
Alex Greenwood [00:00:12]:
If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. Really excited to have you back again this week.
Alex Greenwood [00:00:56]:
As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. We are working our tail off trying to build these amazing relationships that we want to have with our daughters one step at a time. And I'll tell you, it's not always going to be easy. There's going to be bumps in the roads and you have to be able to sometimes be humble and know if you make mistakes, you're going to pick yourself back up and keep going. And it's so important that not only that you know that, but it's so important that you're willing to learn, to grow and to listen, because there are so many individuals around us that are fathering in different ways, and there is no one right way to father. That's why this podcast exists, because every week I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences that are fathering their children in different ways and they can bring some perspective for you to consider for yourself. Doesn't mean you're going to take everything that you're going to hear on every episode and turn it into something that you're going to use today. But it provides you with some tools for your toolbox to allow for you to be able to consider different things and maybe make some adjustments along the way that'll help you to be the dad that you want to be.
Alex Greenwood [00:02:12]:
This week we got another great guest. Alex Greenwood is with us, and Alex is the father of an almost 17 year old. He's. And I'm really excited to be able to have him here for him to share some of his own experiences as a father. Alex, thanks so much for being here today.
Alex Greenwood [00:02:26]:
Chris, it's a pleasure to be here. Thank you.
Alex Greenwood [00:02:28]:
It is my pleasure. Really excited to be able to talk with you today and to. And to Delve a little bit deeper into your relationship with your daughter. And this podcast is all about connection. So I guess first and foremost, one of the things that I'd love to ask you is all of us are on are in a journey of trying to do what we can to be able to build meaningful moments. Meaningful moments that you and I can create with our, with our kids, that they can take with them. Think back to one of those meaningful moments. What is one of the most meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughter thus far and what made it so special?
Alex Greenwood [00:03:04]:
I am always just surprised is the wrong word. Amaze is too strong a word. But I'm always so energized by and I feel so wonderful. And it's a very simple thing, Chris. It's not some life changing, earth shattering thing, but I have a little. It's not really a man cave. It's just a place where I go, it's downstairs and I got a TV and I got a place to read and that kind of thing. And I go down there just because I have a job.
Alex Greenwood [00:03:28]:
I work in communications at a university. I have 12 hour days, I talk to people all day and I have a long commute. So I get to a point where when I finally get home, sometimes I just want to go down there and just recharge a little on my own. I'm one of those ambiverts. I mean, I'm not an introvert by any means, but I do have to charge the batteries a little bit. And sometimes I, I just go down and contemplate and all that. And my daughter, who, her name's Caroline and she's going to be 17 next year, but she's done this thing for a long time. And you know teenagers, I know you have kids that are a little older than that and you know how it is with them, especially in the teenage years, they just get to a point where it's not that they don't love you anymore or don't want to be around you, but they're doing what they're supposed to do.
Alex Greenwood [00:04:05]:
They're starting to kind of break away and become more independent. So sometimes I find myself missing her quite a bit, but I don't burden her with that. Right? I don't do, do that. That's not fair to her. Don't make her feel guilty for doing what she's supposed to do. So it's just interesting. She has this wonderful habit of every now and then popping downstairs, sitting in a chair across from me and saying, hey, dad. And I'm like, well, hey, kid, what's up? I call her kid.
Alex Greenwood [00:04:29]:
I've always called her kid. She's my only child. And she just asks me about how I'm doing. She's like, I just want to check in with you. How you doing? And what I realized, and I call these hey dads now, by the way, but I realize the hey dads are not really just her wanting to hear how I'm doing and. But it's also her way of saying a couple of things. One, I miss you, dad. And two, I want to tell you what's going on in my life.
Alex Greenwood [00:04:53]:
And that's what we do. These conversations can last anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours. And we talk about everything. And I mean everything. Books she's reading, the TV shows she likes music she loves. Taylor Swift, of course, The Mighty Chiefs, our football team here. You know, speaking of Taylor Swift, we'll talk about relationship. We'll talk about her grandparents.
Alex Greenwood [00:05:14]:
Chris it's how I feel like I might have actually been doing a pretty decent job as a dad, is that she enjoys speaking with me. And I'm not saying she happens. It doesn't happen every day, but it happens more than enough for me to feel very blessed. And I don't know if that sounds like anything all that interesting to folks, but for me, it's just about everything.
Alex Greenwood [00:05:32]:
No, it's so important, especially as they get older and if they're still checking in with you, still willing to talk to you, and especially as they get into those upper teen years. I'm not saying that to scare people, because it's not the same with every kid. And with some kids, teenage years can be easygoing, and then other kids could be harder. But if you have put the time and effort in. In raising your child through the years and built that solid relationship with them along the way, them coming back to you and being willing to continue talking to you, being willing, engage with you, and keeping you as a part of their world is so important. Now, you talked about the fact that you work a ways away from home, so you're balancing a lot. You're balancing going to work and coming home and trying to still maintain that connection with her and keeping that balance. So talk to me about balance.
Alex Greenwood [00:06:30]:
And how do you balance not only all of the things that you're trying to do, but how do you also balance guiding your daughter while also giving her that independence that you want her to have to be able to grow into the person that she's become becoming?
Alex Greenwood [00:06:42]:
It's a Real balancing act. And first of all, I'm an older Dad. I was 40 when she was born and so I'm not as spry as I used to. I take care of myself. I work out. My days are averaging 12 hours because I drive about 82 miles each way four days a week to work. I get one work from home day which I can usually take if you put in a 10 hour workday, that's about a 12, 12 and a half hour workday. And when I, by the time I get home I'm pretty tired.
Alex Greenwood [00:07:06]:
Yet I still manage to. I run a couple of my own podcasts, I write a substack column, I'm working on another book. I find time to do a lot of stuff. But the main thing is though is to develop that availability to my daughter when she, so that she can come talk to me anytime or she can text me or sometimes just, just a connection on texting. She started her first job this summer and she's, she's just loving it. She's loving to be able to raise her own money and buy the things she wants to buy and, and I've been so proud of her about that. And what's interesting is like yesterday, you know, today's as we record this Chris, today's their first day of school for junior year in high school and she's got a hand me down car I gave her. It's 11 year old car and she loves it and she takes care of it.
Alex Greenwood [00:07:50]:
And I showed her how to. Yesterday I showed her how to change the wall, the windshield wiper fluid. It's finding moments like that where it may not be all day, it may just be touches like that. A good text and I'll text her. I'm not gonna lie. I text her sometimes and I just say, hey kid, I love you. I hope you hope you're having a great day. Or if I have to work, particularly Thursday, it's going to be about a 15, 16 hour day.
Alex Greenwood [00:08:11]:
I am not going to see her Thursday night. I will text her at some point, maybe a goofy picture of me at work and just say thinking about you. Hope everything's going great. So for me it's about being available and understanding that particularly at this age where my kid is at least I have to be available to her when she feels that need to connect with me. And that's okay. That really is okay. Because when you think back to when your kids were so little, I still remember my kid coming up to me and saying she's four, will you play with me. And I was running my own business back then.
Alex Greenwood [00:08:43]:
I was working a lot of hours then too. But I did have the wherewithal to know because I had a. My dad didn't necessarily play with us all that much. But I realized this is important to this kid. She doesn't have any siblings. I'm here. Let's do that. So that's how it evolves, I think for me, I don't know if I answered your question very effectively, but it's availability.
Alex Greenwood [00:09:01]:
It's those touches. No matter how busy you get, remember the one reason you are working so hard is to provide for her. And that's what I'm doing. And she plans on attending the university where I work. And she's going to get a nice break on her tuition. So it's worth it for me when I'm driving all that way. And I miss her a little bit more than I'd like to, knowing that one, I'll see her a lot more when she comes to university here. I'll go to lunch with her at least once a week.
Alex Greenwood [00:09:25]:
I told her that. And two, it'll save her the burden of worrying about student loans too much.
Alex Greenwood [00:09:30]:
You're lucky because I work in higher ed as well and neither of my daughters want to come to the university where I go to where I work. So. So they're not getting the tuition benefit that your daughter's getting. So I say that in jest, but it's great to be able to have her be. To take that advantage of that. Not only for her, but really for you too, because it again, allows for you to keep that connection.
Alex Greenwood [00:09:51]:
I know she's an extraordinarily pragmatic person and she's so different from her mother and I, which is. I'm so glad she's a jock. She's a talented athlete. She's also makes like a 3.8 on average. She's been accepted into an accelerated medical professionals program. She wants to be a nurse. She knows who she is and she's a kind person and pragmatic and also understands that money doesn't grow on trees. She's an only child being raised by her mother, who's an only child.
Alex Greenwood [00:10:17]:
I was one of four, but I was kind of the middle. And I think that one reason our daughter's like that is she was raised by two adults and we never talked baby talk to her. We never talked down to her. We talked to her like a little human. We didn't talk to her like an adult, but we talked to her like a little human, you know what I mean? And she's always been extraordinarily verbal and had good verbal skills, which has impressed people. And I think another thing she learned, too, her old man was an old politician. So I taught her, like when she was about 8, how to shake hands with people. And I said, you extend your hand, you look them in the eye, and you use their name and you say, chris, it is lovely to meet you.
Alex Greenwood [00:10:51]:
I'm Caroline, and I've seen her do this. Speaking of my dad, we lost my dad in January and we had to go to Oklahoma for the funeral. And she met all these extended family she didn't really know. Second cousins, third cousins, uncles, aunts, great aunts, you know, all those folks that. You know what I mean? You're a kid, you have no idea who they are. And she did that without fail. And I can't tell you how many of my cousins came up and said, good Lord, that young lady, she just walks right up and shakes your hand, looks you in the eye. And I'm so proud of something like that, that.
Alex Greenwood [00:11:20]:
Because that's a skill she can use. When I say it's a skill, it's a skill, though, that is indicative of somebody who is a young person who is confident and wants to engage. And I just couldn't be happier with that.
Alex Greenwood [00:11:32]:
It's such a great skill to be able to have, especially going into a helping profession where you're going to be having to interact with so many different people. And it's definitely a skill that all of us should work to help our kids to be able to is making those connections with others and building those intentional connections with others. Speaking of intentionality, talk to me about what you do to intentionally let your daughter know that she is being valued and heard.
Alex Greenwood [00:12:01]:
Well, if I could, I'll take a step back and tell you a little bit about how my wife and I have been parenting Caroline. And one of the things my wife, Stephanie and I decided early on was that parenting isn't about control. It's about preparing your child to stand on her own. And again, I'm an older parent. I am not going to be around, likely for 60 more years, for sure. 50, doubt it. 40, maybe. But the point being, a lot of folks whose parents are younger, they're going to have more time with, God willing.
Alex Greenwood [00:12:27]:
So I decided early on we decided that parenting isn't about control. It's about repairing your child to stand on her own. And so we told Caroline from the time she was very little that for the first part of her life. Your mom and I are your boss now. When you get a little older and you get into college, we're not necessarily your boss. We're more like your supervisor. We're here if you need us, but we still control the purse strings. You know, we have your paycheck, so to speak, and all that, and we expect you to do certain things, but we're not watching you every minute of the day, telling you what you can, can't do, what to eat and all that kind of thing like you do with a baby or a little, little kid.
Alex Greenwood [00:12:57]:
So college, we hope to be like her supervisors, still keeping an eye on her, but letting her take the lead. So then when she graduates and gets a job, we want to become her consultants. And hopefully, as life goes on, we'll be blessed to be her friends from that point. So along that way, we've tried to her with some core values. Respect for herself and others. Curiosity and critical thinking are huge with us. Kindness and resilience. She's a very talented, very strong athlete.
Alex Greenwood [00:13:24]:
But she's also realizing as she gets older, she probably isn't going to walk onto the university volleyball team. She's good, but she's probably not going to do that. And she's fine with it. She knows how the world works in that regard, and she doesn't take it too hard. And it seems to be working so far, pretty well, this way of raising her and watching her grow into what I believe is a thoughtful, capable young adult who lives those values in her own way. And that's just been one of the greatest privileges of my life, is to realize that. So that's some of the things we've done to get her ready for life and for her to understand what we expect of her. I'll just tell you one more little quick anecdote that makes me very proud of her.
Alex Greenwood [00:14:02]:
She'd be so embarrassed if she knew I was talking about her and telling everybody this stuff, but I'm proud of her. And she had a friend in elementary school, a little boy, and he had an arm that didn't quite work right, and he was a little awkward. And she would tell us about him and how he. Nobody would sit with him at lunch, so she would sit with him at lunch, and then some other kids started pushing him around, tried to beat him up, and she just jumped right in the middle of it all and said, back off, you're not doing this. And I'm just. That, that right there, that kind of empathy and that kind of kindness look at the world we live in. I mean, we need people like that. We need generations of people who will step up and say, that's not right.
Alex Greenwood [00:14:37]:
And so that's, that's the instruction we've given. Because again, I hark back to this. Again, I don't like to sound morbid, like I'm going to die tomorrow, God forbid, but I'm not going to be there to protect her forever. And so I like the idea that she's confident and hopefully she'll find a mate who will be supportive of her and accent that and accentuate that and have family of her own where she can pass those values on. That's the most important thing to me.
Alex Greenwood [00:15:03]:
All of us have to have those type of conversations, whether your child's an only child or they have siblings that are going to be there, because you never know. You never know what will happen. And you need to have those kind of meaningful conversations. So talk to me about how you and your wife have been preparing her. And if a father is hearing this and says, you know, we haven't had any of these conversations, but I feel like we should start some of these conversations and start preparing our own child for that. Where should someone start?
Alex Greenwood [00:15:32]:
Well, I could give you a practical thing. Would that work for you? One thing during the pandemic. So that would have put her. What was that about three or four years ago, she wanted to start her own mail order era earring business. She was going to make her own earrings and sell them. And long story short, we thought, this is a teachable moment here. Let's teach her about how commerce works, about how that is. And she's like, mom, Dad, I know how to make these.
Alex Greenwood [00:15:54]:
And she's made some stuff. They're kind of nice earrings. And we said, look, you need capital, though, to, to buy more stuff, to make more earrings and to market these earrings on your website and all that. She goes, yeah. And she said, well, you give me the money. I said, well, no, I won't give you the money, but your mother and I will invest in you. So we set this whole thing up and we, we even had her draw up a stock certificate for us that we had stock in her company. Forgive me, I forget the name of the company, but, and get this, she got really excited.
Alex Greenwood [00:16:21]:
We taught her what that meant, what investing meant. And then when the pandemic started to let up, there's a local farmer's market and we, we applied to get her a booth at the local farm. So every Saturday, she'd go down there and sell these things. And she would pay us back out of what she earned for the materials she bought. Of course, we put that money in her college fund, but she doesn't know that. Don't tell her. But anyway, we taught her how to do that. And so that was a lesson we taught her.
Alex Greenwood [00:16:45]:
So now she has a kind of understanding how investing works and how. Kind of an understanding how stocks and bonds kind of work. We try to explain that to her, but also what we're teaching her are other financial lessons. Okay, I need her to understand how money works. And having a job, by the way, has been very instructive of that. She's had her first job and she gets it. And she understands taxes and the anguish of taxes. But I try to explain to her that taxes are kind of the price you pay to live in a civilized country.
Alex Greenwood [00:17:10]:
You're not going to always want to pay them. You're not going to love them. Sometimes they're going to be too high, sometimes they're going to be whatever. But they're important part of making the country what it is. And so she understands that. So we try to teach her about that and let her understand a credit card, what those are and how dangerous and treacherous those can be. We try to let her know, too, that just, you know, she. You know the old joke about, you know, you hear this all the time, oh, well, I must have more money.
Alex Greenwood [00:17:32]:
I still have checks, but they don't even use checks anymore, so that's not even useful. But we teach her those kinds of practices, practical lessons, how to change a tire, what to do if you feel like if you're out in the car and you feel threatened by somebody, use your phone, find the nearest police station or the nearest public place. Just little things like that. But before anybody thinks I'm some kind of weirdo who just constantly tells her everything's awful in the world, I don't. But I want to prepare her for the fact that not everybody is always going to have your best interests at heart, that you got to pay attention, keep, as I've said to her many times, keep your head on a swivel, pay attention to your surroundings. Those kind of little lessons, I think, have helped to make her as confident as she is and is helping to make her resilient and confident. And I think she doesn't fear the world. I think she's excited to get out there and see the world.
Alex Greenwood [00:18:18]:
And I think a lot of that is that we didn't baby her. She understood that she had to work to move forward in the world. And that doesn't mean we don't spoil her a little bit. Of course we do. We adore her. She's our child. But we try to make sure she understands those basic things. It's really not some kind of magic formula.
Alex Greenwood [00:18:32]:
It's just something that seems to be working for us to do these kinds of practical.
Alex Greenwood [00:18:37]:
I love that because I think, you know, those practical things and getting her to be able to understand it in that way is something that she's going to always remember and it's something that she will take with her no matter where she goes. So it is definitely something that I think others can also put into action and try for themselves. Now, you talked about not being morose, and you talked about the fact that you may be here for 30, 40 more years, but then at some point you are going to pass on. And that's not always an easy conversation to have with a child is to talk about the fact that all of us are mortal. We're not all going to be here forever. And there's always that first time where they impact death for the first time. So talk to me about beyond the practical nature of preparing her to stand on her own, having those conversations that are hard. And give me some examples of how you've had those type of conversations with your daughter and how you started those and how you continue those.
Alex Greenwood [00:19:34]:
Well, as I mentioned, I lost my dad unexpectedly. He was a distracted driver of injuries from that event eventually killed him. And so we knew he wasn't doing great for a few weeks. And my daughter and her mother, I couldn't get away from work. I'd seen him on my own, but they went down to Oklahoma to see him. And he was alert and talking to her and. And she came back and I. She was quiet about it.
Alex Greenwood [00:19:57]:
And she said, dad, I. I don't know how pop's doing. I said, he's not doing great, kid, but it's important to him that you came down there to see him. And I didn't broach. I didn't have to. I think she intuited that he was not doing so great. And then he got Covid. That was the end.
Alex Greenwood [00:20:12]:
He couldn't fight Covid after that. The point being, when we lost him, I found out I was at work and I had to drive 85 miles before I could get home and tell her. And I came home and tell her and she just. She fell apart. But it was not the first death she had experienced. One of her best friends was killed in A car wreck when she was about 8 years old, 9 years old. So she understands the impermanence of life. She understood it unfortunately, pretty early, but.
Alex Greenwood [00:20:34]:
And she cared about her friend, don't get me wrong, but to lose your papa, your grandfather. I think that I could see a change in her. And I hope this doesn't sound strange, Chris, but, you know, I mentioned going to the funeral and being very mature, and I was. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't. I was a wreck. And I've been the eulogist at several family things, as you could probably tell. I don't have a problem talking, but I couldn't do it with my dad. And I wrote up a little essay and I asked her, would it be okay if you read it? And I said, you can feel free to say no, it's a lot of pressure to put on you, but if you could get up in front of everybody and read it.
Alex Greenwood [00:21:06]:
She didn't blink. She says, I'll do it, dad. And she got it and read it and she did a beautiful job. She held it together. And when she was walking to sit down, some weird was like. It was like at a concert, somebody said something like, bravo, young lady, or really well done or something, you know, just called that out to her. And I realized that she really had. In just those few short weeks since he was injured, I saw her grow up a little bit and realized the.
Alex Greenwood [00:21:30]:
About that impermanence. And so we've had regular discussions about when her mother and I are gone. She asked me the other day, she said, dad, it's occurred to me that, you know, I'm getting ready to go to college in a couple of years. And I know it's not my business to know all about the family finances at this point, but how are we going to pay for that? I know that I'll get your tuition break and all that, but what about extras? Will we be able to afford for me to have a dorm room? And, you know, she's starting to ask these questions and she doesn't ask them out of any kind of other thing than she's starting to realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm going to be making a transition into a different part of my life soonish. And I think the fact that we've never sugarcoated stuff because she'd asked me when she was a kid, what happens when we die. I said, I don't know, I don't know. She says, what about religion? I said, if religion helps you, absolutely.
Alex Greenwood [00:22:17]:
I went through a phase where the family. We went to church and I was an elder in my church. I don't go anymore. It's not something I'm all that interested in anymore. But I told her, go anytime or I'll take you. And she would go with her friends. I don't know if it made much of an impression on her either. And I could hear religious people out there groaning.
Alex Greenwood [00:22:32]:
But it's like, you know, I can't force her. When I was a kid, I was kind of forced to go to church and I hated it. And I just told her, I'm not going to force you to do that, but I'm going to definitely expose you to it. I want you to see it, I want you to feel it. So I guess what I'm trying to say here, Chris, and again, pardon me for just going on, but is just that we tried to offer her the opportunity to experience things. We rarely say no to something unless it could be dangerous. We let her meet people, we let her go do things. We try to answer her questions.
Alex Greenwood [00:22:59]:
But you remember what I said earlier, We've always just kind of talked to her a lot, like a little person. Well, we just feel like we're paying her the compliment of her intellect and her personhood to just tell it straight the way we know it. I don't get, you know, brusque about it or anything like that. And I, I don't get all worked up about it. And it seems to work for us. It's just, it's just honesty and being candid. If I were to grow up again, I would appreciate straight talk to my folks.
Alex Greenwood [00:23:20]:
And so many of our folks didn't have those type of conversations with us. So I think our generation are definitely doing a lot better than our own parents did or their parents did before them. And that's a broad generalization because some of our parents did a great job and continue to do a great job if they're still in our lives, in preparing for the inevitability of life and. But what I'm hearing you say, Alex, is we can do even better. And that the more that we can prepare our kids in a non morose way, the better they're going to be able to prepare for it themselves and stand alone or stand together in that time. That is challenging.
Alex Greenwood [00:24:02]:
Chris, I really do believe that this has also made her appreciate the moments that she has with her mother and I and her grandparents, her living grandparents. She has said to me that all the time we've done certain things, gone on trips or some Things have happened. And she said, I'm going to. Basically said, I'm going to try to hold on to this. I want to remember this. So I think we've managed accidentally through all of this to set a stage for her to say, this is your journey on this earth, we're here to help, or your consultants, et cetera. We're going to be here for a while and then it's on you to do this. But I appreciate that she has picked up on the fact that the impermanence is a factor.
Alex Greenwood [00:24:35]:
And I've always told her I've done a lot of stuff in my life. Her mother's very successful in what she's done. I failed more than I succeeded. I have. I could bore you with all these things I've tried in my life that I completely failed at. But she knows about most of it and she's told me before. She says, I just love dad. That you tried, that you're out there.
Alex Greenwood [00:24:51]:
I said, I was never picked for the ball team. If I got to play, I was on the C team. I was the Bad News Bears team and I wasn't even any good. But the point was I tried. Did you play T ball and Little League at all? I always got money. Ghost spirited player at the end of every season, which is not mvp, folks. And I told her, you gotta try, kid. I always tell her that you gotta get out there.
Alex Greenwood [00:25:11]:
And throughout her life I've just said, what's it gonna hurt you to try?
Alex Greenwood [00:25:15]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad Connection six, where I ask you six more questions that delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?
Alex Greenwood [00:25:23]:
Sure.
Alex Greenwood [00:25:24]:
What's one word that describes your relationship with your daughter?
Alex Greenwood [00:25:28]:
Trust.
Alex Greenwood [00:25:29]:
What's the best piece of dad advice you've ever received?
Alex Greenwood [00:25:33]:
Oh, wow, that's a tough one, Chris. I think the best dad advice I ever got was with my uncle. And he just, he was like a kindly favorite uncle type. He was just like. He basically said, don't talk down to your kid. Basically because he was my, one of my uncles who I adored and, and he, he never talked down to me. And I always remembered when Uncle Robert talked to me, I always felt special. And I was one of 22 grandchildren.
Alex Greenwood [00:25:55]:
But I always felt like Uncle Robert thought I was the only person in the room when he talked to me. So that's the best advice was don't talk down to your kid. Make them feel good. Look them in the eye, talk to them.
Alex Greenwood [00:26:03]:
What's one Activity that you and your daughter love doing together.
Alex Greenwood [00:26:06]:
We used to love, when she was little, we'd go to, like, Starbucks. I'd get her a chocolate milk and a cake pop. And now that's moved up to, like, going to get a cheeseburger. I love just going to lunch with her, just she and I, and just doing more of that. Hey, dad, more of that talking. I just love doing that with her. Just, just love it.
Alex Greenwood [00:26:21]:
If you could give your daughter one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?
Alex Greenwood [00:26:26]:
In the great casino of life, don't put all your chips in the center of the table and go all in in your twenties, you'll regret it.
Alex Greenwood [00:26:32]:
What's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad?
Alex Greenwood [00:26:36]:
You know that movie Jack Nicholson did years ago, and there's that great line, and he says, you make me want to be a better man. Something like that. Before I met her mother. Her mother and I've been together, all told, about 20 years. And I had a lot of, of relationships that didn't work real well. Not until then, anyway. The point being, I don't think I knew how to be. Don't get me wrong, I was a good person, but I don't think I met my capacity or my potential for kindness.
Alex Greenwood [00:27:04]:
I think I got into a bit where I felt like every time I was kind to somebody that took advantage of me. So I kind of decided, well, maybe that's not what to do. And my wife was the first person to kind of start to peel away that veneer. And then, man, the moment I'm standing behind my wife while they did the C section, I lifted my baby out of there. It all. I changed. I know that's so cliche. Everybody says that, but I, Chris, I did.
Alex Greenwood [00:27:25]:
I changed so, so much when I was the first one to hold her. And she has made me a better man. Caroline, my daughter has. She has absolutely done that. I don't want to do anything that she would be disappointed in me in.
Alex Greenwood [00:27:38]:
And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?
Alex Greenwood [00:27:46]:
Guys, don't be too hard on yourself. Chris said this early on, we're going to make mistakes. We're going to say dumb things. We're going to be tired and cranky. But here's the thing. You're not going to believe this, but I, I, well, I don't believe in corporal punishment first, but that's, that's not a big deal these days. I hope I've Never really even raised my voice at my daughter. I don't yell at her when I'm disappointed in her, I tell her.
Alex Greenwood [00:28:05]:
But there's been moments when I've been sharp with her here and there. So few moments, by the way, that I still remember each one of them, like, just a handful. And I think you've got to give yourself permission to be human to your daughter and to your kid to apologize when you're sharp with them and say, hey, I just had a bad day. I was tired. I. And without fail, every time I've done that, those few times in my life where I've been cross with her or sharp with her, she's like, dad, it's all right, man. You were having a bad day. It's okay.
Alex Greenwood [00:28:30]:
By the way, if you want, I could tell you my kid can annoy me just like yours can. I mean, just so you know, she's not perfect, but she spends too much money on clothes. But I don't care that much about that. But I just. So I. I feel, like, bad. Like I'm just sitting here telling you every positive, wonderful thing, you know, it's. Trust me.
Alex Greenwood [00:28:48]:
She also really needs to clean her room. She just. She needs to.
Alex Greenwood [00:28:52]:
I think all of us have those little things that get under our nerve, but in the end, we love them for who they are, even though they can irk us along the way.
Alex Greenwood [00:29:02]:
Definitely, sir. Definitely.
Alex Greenwood [00:29:05]:
Now, Alex, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your own journey today. And it is not over. It is just beginning and will continue into the future because being a dad never ends. And I just want to say thank you for your time today, for sharing your own journey, and I wish you all the best.
Alex Greenwood [00:29:21]:
Chris, it's been my privilege to be here. And thank you to listeners for letting me go on and on about my daughter. Just. I hope everybody can find that wonderfulness in their own kid and just hopefully eventually go from being their boss to being their friend.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:34]:
That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confidence. Independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our episodes@dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting, and keep being the dad she needs.
Musical Outro Performer [00:30:05]:
We're all in the same boat, and it's full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game. Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and musclemen get out and be the world to them Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can.
