Hello and welcome back to Touring History, the only show where we time travel with
zero supervision and even less emotional maturity. I'm Lane, and I'm the other
emotional one. I'm Dave, and today is April 26th,
which in history terms is what you'd call absolutely insane. We've got war crimes,
nuclear meltdowns, groundbreaking elections, and a in camel who just wants to know
what day it is. Clu -clu -clu. - But first birthdays, born on today in 121 CE,
Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and philosopher who basically invented journaling your
way through a mental health crisis. - Yeah, Aurelius, I think, I hate to correct
you, but he's the reason your ass quotes, "Meditations" while actively ignoring your
PTO request. Also born, John James Audubon, who painted birds and inspired all the
weird kids in high school to suddenly care deeply about swamps. Swamps. Yes, and
Carol Burnett, born in 1933, but she doesn't want that coming out. Comedian,
trailblazer, and the only person who ever made a curtain rod funny. Remember that
one? Oh yes. The shoulder pads. It was the Longest sustained laugh by an audience
in television history. I just saw it in the window and I had to have it.
1937, the Guernica bombing. Today in 1937, the German Luftwaffe bombed Guernica Spain,
one of the first aerial attacks on civilians in modern warfare. Not to be confused
with Putin's daily aggression in Ukraine. - Yes, it was a brutal moment that shocked
the world, inspired Picasso's most famous painting, and made it clear that airstrikes
were about to become everyone's problem. - Yeah, so tough day to be a bask. What
happened in 1962, Lane? - Well, that's when NASA's Ranger 4 crashes on the moon.
In 1962-- - I got this, I got this! - In 1962 NASA's Ranger 4 spacecraft became the
first American object to reach the moon by crashing directly into it. Wait a minute,
this thing doesn't have a pernundle. Where's reverse? It was supposed to take
pictures instead. It face -planted into the sea of tranquility. Hmm, not very
tranquil. Like a drunk uncle at a wedding. I love you! Oh, come here.
You know you - Oh, you love me too. - Because, I'm sorry, but it was a milestone
because in space, even failure counts as progress, also known as the Musk Doctrine.
- Musk Doctrine. 1986, Chernobyl reactor number four exploded,
causing the worst nuclear disaster in history that didn't involve Godzilla. - It
released radiation across Europe and taught us three important lessons. One, nuclear
power is dangerous. Two, Soviet PR is worse. Double duh.
Three, HBO miniseries slap. Oh, that was so good. Skarsgard was amazing.
Anyway, 1994, what happened there? Oh, well, that's South Africa's first multiracial
elections. On a brighter note, today in 1994, South Africa its first multi -racial
elections, ending apartheid and electing Nelson Mandela as president. I think that's
when Elon left, wasn't it? Oh! A true milestone. Mandela spent 27 years in prison.
Ah, poor guy. Then came out, forgave everyone, and somehow still had more charisma
than every politician alive today. Now that is amazing. He's the only person in
history who could go from inmate to icon without dropping a SoundCloud diss track.
Oh, 2005, Syria, after 29 years,
finally withdrew its military from Lebanon. Up we're leaving, gotta get some more
PETA, ending a controversial and unwanted occupation. You know it's bad when your
country leaves and literally no one throws a going away party. What? They're gone?
They were here just a minute ago. They left all their crap. Anyway, what happened
in 1984, Lane? Oh, well, Apple airs 1984. Yes.
On April 26th, Apple re -aird its famous 1984 ad. You know, the one where a woman
smashes a giant screen to symbolically destroy IBM? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, they actually got real skinheads in London to do that ad where she
throws the giant hammer into the screen. Well, or as Gen Z calls it, what's IBM?
- The ad was supposed to warn us about dystopian tech. Instead, it predicted Apple's
entire business model with scary accuracy. - That's right, their iPhone's falling out
of everybody's pocket, but nobody noticed. And in 2010, Oh,
what day is it, Lane? Oh, yes. That's right.
In 2010, Geico unleashed the hump day camel ad, featuring an overexcited camel in a
diaper office, yelling, "What day is it?" It instantly became a meme, a ringtone,
and a mild HR violation. That's right, that camel had more raw energy than the 2010
Charlie Sheen, and possibly the same diet. - Skeletor. - Now back to our Rise Donuts
plant. - Sponsor of the day, that's right. Now word from today's sponsor, Rise Donuts
in Wilton, Connecticut. - That's right, because if you've never had one, imagine if
Joy was edible deep fried and filled with lemon curd. Maybe not lemon curd. - Rise
makes small batch handcrafted donuts that are basically what happens when angels learn
pastry arts. Oh, it looks so pretty. Their doughnuts are so good. I once saw a
grown man cry into a hibiscus glaze, and that man, that's right, was me. Flavors
rotate, the quality never does. Follow them on Instagram @RiseDoughnut
@RiseRiseDoughnutD -O -U -G -H -N -U -T to plan your next pilgrimage.
I thought doughnut was spelled D -O -N -U -T. I know, that's why I'm spilling it out,
Dave. Thank you. That's rise doughnuts because history is full of pain, but you
deserve a doughnut. What happened in 1514, Lane? That was a long time ago.
It seems like yesterday. In 1514, Nicholas Copernicus recorded his first observation
of Saturn laying the groundwork for a heliocentric model of the solar system.
Oh, that fling's got rings. Look, honey. That's right. He looked at Saturn and said,
oh, boy, maybe Earth is in the center of everything. What the heck is that? A
realization Dave has yet to have. That's me. Listen, I'm still processing Pluto.
Okay. Okay. Well, listen, let's get to 1954. Let's do that. That one.
That last one was not great. And So, you know, this is something that RFK Junior
doesn't want to talk about. Oh, my vaccine. The U .S. launched its mass polio
vaccine trial today in 1954, eventually wiping out a disease unlike measles that used
to paralyze thousands of kids a year. Hey, let's bring back an iron lung.
There's so much fun to lie in. It was a scientific triumph. and yes, people lined
up for it gratefully because they didn't get their medical advice from TikTok
comments or our head of healthcare. - That's right. And it was given away for free.
- It was, you could say it was, it was given away for a measly price for free.
- Oh God, watch out. I feel some hooping cough coming up. - Uh -oh, Uh -oh. That's
right. What happened in 1989, Lane? Well, a devastating tornado struck Bangladesh in
1989. Oh my gosh, that poor country. Yes, again. Killing over 1 ,300 people, making
it the deadliest tornado in recorded history. Well, this is your reminder that
climate doesn't care what day it is or how good your umbrella is. That's right.
Even if it's 2002, what happened then, Dave? Well, this funny little FBI agent named
Robert Hanson was sentenced to life in prison for spying for the Russians for over
20 years. Geez, how'd they not notice that? Where you going? Oh,
just to drop a package. I mean, just to get a pack of cigarettes. I'm going up to
rice donuts. Yes, I'm going to hide something in their curd.
He gave up secrets, exposed agents, and was paid mostly in cash and diamonds and
proving that proving that bomb villains do exist, but they shop at Costco. Oh,
it's a. Well, you know, here's something that happened in 2021 that nobody really
wants to talk about. Can you just. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's SpaceX. You know, we're
back to the Musk doctrine. Yeah. Successfully landed its starship prototype for the
first time without exploding. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, it came back, oh,
that's only number 920. - Which for Elon Musk is called personal growth.
- The rocket landed safely, the stock price immediately took off and no one
remembered the previous six times it exploded like a Michael Bay outtake. - That's
right, so in closing, that was April 26th. Ladies and gentlemen,
a day of cosmic breakthroughs, corrupt agents, camels and cubicles,
and catastrophes, nuclear, natural, and NASA made. A lot of alliteration in that
line, Lane. That's right. We'll be back tomorrow with another "Tour Through Time"
because history never sleeps, and neither does Dave's Instagram scroll. That's right.
Check it out, ladies and gentlemen. Until then, eat a donut, wear sunscreen, and
maybe don't build a nuclear reactor with parts and radio Shack or as we like to
say rapial shack until then bye see ya
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