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🎙️ TOURING HISTORY PODCAST – MAY 17TH EDITION (REVISED)

🎧 COLD OPEN (VO)

LANE (VO):
May 17th: A stock exchange is born under a tree, a magician fights ad mind control, and Nike turns the Beatles into a jingle. This is history—on sneakers.

🎶 INTRO MUSIC FADES IN

LANE:
Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we explore what happened on this day throughout history... and pretend we remember anything from high school social studies.

DAVE:
I’m Dave, here for the facts, or at least the footnotes.

LANE:
And I’m Lane, the guy who once explained the stock market to his cat—and still got fewer blank stares than when I explain it to Dave.

DAVE:
Hey! I understand the stock market just fine. Step 1: Buy high. Step 2: Sell lower. Step 3: Panic.

LANE:
Congratulations—you just described our podcast ad revenue model.

🪙 HISTORICAL HEADLINER

DAVE:
On May 17th, 1792, the New York Stock Exchange was born under the Buttonwood Agreement—signed by 24 brokers beneath an actual buttonwood tree.

LANE:
Ah yes, the humble origins of modern capitalism: some guys in powdered wigs deciding, “What if people could lose their life savings... but elegantly?”

DAVE:
And with that, the world's most high-stakes anxiety theme park was created.

LANE:
Wall Street: come for the optimism, stay for the heartburn.

🎉 BIRTHDAYS

DAVE:
Let’s cue up the confetti. Born on this day...

• Dennis Hopper, 1936 – actor, director, and man who looked like he lived off espresso and chaos.
  
  

• Sugar Ray Leonard, 1956 – boxing legend, Olympic gold medalist, and person who could knock me out just by looking at me.
  
  

• Tahj Mowry, 1986 – Smart Guy, still smarter than me.
  
  

• AJ Mitchell, 2001 – singer and TikTok star.
  
  

• Kristopher London, 1993 – YouTube personality and basketball content creator.
  
  

LANE:
I once shadowboxed in front of a mirror after watching Sugar Ray fight. Pulled a muscle... in my dignity.

DAVE:
You’re not alone. I once lost a dance battle to my own reflection.

🐎 HISTORICAL EVENTS – PART 1

DAVE:
Back to our regularly scheduled time travel…

LANE:
In 1875, the first Kentucky Derby was held. The winner? Aristides. The fashion? Deranged picnic chic. The alcohol? Yes.

DAVE:
It’s the only sporting event where the hats are louder than the crowd.

LANE:
In 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in Brown v. Board of Education, declaring segregation in public schools unconstitutional.

DAVE:
A landmark ruling that helped dismantle Jim Crow—and proved that progress, while slow, still gallops forward.

LANE:
And in 1973, the Senate Watergate hearings aired live, launching America’s first binge-worthy political drama. No theme song, just tension.

DAVE:
Coming soon to Netflix: Wiretaps & Whiskey Breath: The Nixon Years.

🏳️‍🌈 EQUALITY & CULTURE

LANE:
In 2004, Massachusetts became the first U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage.

DAVE:
A huge milestone that paved the way for nationwide recognition a decade later.

LANE:
Also today in 1990, the World Health Organization declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Late, but crucial.

DAVE:
And designated May 17th as International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia—because decency shouldn’t require a diagnosis.

LANE:
Meanwhile, in 1987, Nike launched its “Revolution” ad using a Beatles track—marking the first time Beatles music was used in advertising.

DAVE:
Because nothing says rebellion like... a licensing deal with Nike.

LANE:
I saw that ad and immediately bought shoes and a vague sense of idealism.  Speaking of ads, let’s hear about today’s featured sponsor…

🎙️ AD BREAK – REALISTIC VERSION

LANE:
This episode of Touring History is brought to you by the Ball Mason Jar Facebook Group—home to over 100,000 members who know that a glass jar isn’t just a jar... it’s the original produce time machine.

DAVE:
Whether you're preserving your garden’s summer bounty, storing your great-grandmother’s jam recipe, or trying to make your pantry look like it belongs in a Pinterest dream home, this community has you covered.

LANE:
Seriously, if you've ever asked yourself, “Can I ferment this?”—someone in this group already has. And they probably posted a step-by-step guide... with photos.

DAVE:
You’ll find tips, inspiration, and just the right amount of obsession—plus answers to questions like how to test your seal, how to fix a failed batch, or how to turn a mason jar into a wedding centerpiece that somehow also holds soup.

LANE:
So whether you’re a seasoned canner or just found a box of jars in your grandma’s garage, join the Ball Mason Jar Facebook Group and connect with people who share your passion for pickles, preserves, and pretty labels.

DAVE:
The Ball Mason Jar Facebook Group—because freshness doesn’t have an expiration date.

🧠 THE WEIRD FILES

DAVE:
In 1980, French magician Gérard Majax attempted to expose hypnosis in advertising during a live TV broadcast.

LANE:
Did it work?

DAVE:
Unclear. But I now own seven baguette-themed throw pillows.

🧭 ODDS & ENDS

LANE:
In 1995, Jacques Chirac was elected president of France, starting a 12-year run…run Jacques, run!

DAVE:
And in 1970, explorer Thor Heyerdahl launched Ra II from Morocco to prove that transatlantic travel was possible with ancient Egyptian boats.

LANE:
He made it to Barbados in 57 days. It took me that long to cancel a gym membership.

DAVE:
In 2009, Sri Lanka declared victory in a 26-year civil war—one of the longest and most devastating conflicts in Asia’s modern history.

🎤 OUTRO

LANE:
And that’s your May 17th tour through time—no museum pass required.

DAVE:
We’ll be back tomorrow with more history, more facts, and more aggressive shoe metaphors.

LANE:
I’m Lane.

DAVE:
I’m Dave.

BOTH:
See you tomorrow!

🎶 OUTRO MUSIC FADES IN

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