LANE: Hey, how are ya? Welcome back to this thing we call "Touring History," the podcast where we talk about old stuff that happened. I'm Lane...
DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 9th, 2025, and we're about to dive into a bunch of things that happened on this day throughout history. You know, because that's kinda the whole premise of the show.
LANE: That's right, Dave. May 9th has been quite the day throughout history—some good stuff, some bad stuff, some stuff that's just, you know, stuff.
DAVE: It's like opening a history book and just reading one page. Not the beginning, not the end, just some random page in the middle. So let's get to it, I guess.
LANE: First up, we should probably mention some folks who were born on May 9th. In 1949, Billy Joel was born in the Bronx. You know, the "Piano Man."
DAVE: They call him the Piano Man because he plays the piano. Not very creative, if you ask me. I would've gone with "The Keyboard Fella" or something.
LANE: This guy wrote "We Didn't Start the Fire," which is basically just him listing a bunch of historical events set to music. Kind of like what we're doing now, except he made millions of dollars, and we're sitting in a podcast studio with foam on the walls.
DAVE: Also born today: Rosario Dawson, born in 1979. She was in that show "The Mandalorian." I never saw it, but I heard it's about a guy who never takes his helmet off. Sounds like my uncle Bert after his welding accident.
LANE: And let's not forget Candice Bergen, born in 1946. Star of "Murphy Brown." You know what's funny about Murphy Brown?
DAVE: What's that?
LANE: That's not a woman's name. That's like naming your daughter "Thompson Williams" or something. [awkward pause] Anyway, these are all just people who happened to be born on May 9th. Nothing special about being born, really. We all did it once.
LANE: On May 9th, 1671, a fella named Thomas Blood attempted to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London. Blood sounds made up, but apparently that was his real name.
DAVE: So this Blood character, he disguises himself as a priest. Because, you know, nothing says "I'm trustworthy" like pretending to be a man of God. He talks his way into seeing the jewels, then whacks the keeper on the head and tries to flatten the Crown with a mallet so it can fit under his coat.
LANE: Now, you'd think the punishment for trying to steal the king's crown would be, I don't know, having your head removed from your body. That seems fair.
DAVE: But no! King Charles II not only pardoned Blood but gave him land in Ireland worth £500 a year! That'd be like if you tried to steal Jeff Bezos's wallet and he gave you a job at Amazon. Makes no sense.
LANE: The historians say Blood might have had dirt on the king. You know, like "I know what you did last summer" kind of stuff.
DAVE: But I think the king just admired his moxie. "You tried to steal my crown? That takes balls! Here's some land!" Kings were weird back then. Still are, probably.
LANE: On May 9th, 1950, some French guy named Schuman—not to be confused with Schumann the composer, this is a different guy—anyway, he proposed this thing called the European Coal and Steel Community.
DAVE: Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear "Coal and Steel Community," I don't exactly get excited. Sounds like the world's worst theme park. "Come ride the Coal Bucket! Try the Steel Ingot Splash!"
LANE: But this boring-sounding thing eventually became the European Union. The idea was, "Hey, if we all share our coal and steel, maybe we won't use it to build tanks and kill each other." Pretty smart when you think about it.
DAVE: It's like if you and your neighbor who's always eyeing your lawnmower decided to just share the damn thing. "You can use it Mondays, I'll take Tuesdays." Next thing you know, you're having barbecues together and your kids are dating.
LANE: That's basically what happened with France and Germany, except the lawnmower was coal and steel, and the barbecue is the EU Parliament.
LANE: On May 9th, 1945, Nazi Germany surrendered to Soviet forces, which is why Russia celebrates Victory Day on May 9th rather than May 8th like the rest of us.
DAVE: Leave it to time zones to screw up a perfectly good world war ending. It's like, "Hey, we all agreed to stop fighting, but what time exactly?"
LANE: The Soviet Union lost around 27 million people in that war. That's a lot of people. I can't even imagine 27 million of anything, except maybe ants at a picnic.
DAVE: But here's the thing about Russia—they celebrate Victory Day like it's the biggest holiday ever. Meanwhile, in America, we're like, "World War II? Oh yeah, that thing Tom Hanks was in."
LANE: War is a terrible thing, you know. But it does give us holidays, which is a silver lining I guess. Not a great silver lining, but when you lose 27 million people, you take what you can get.
LANE: On May 9th, 1960, the FDA approved the first oral contraceptive, known simply as "the Pill."
DAVE: Now, this is awkward to talk about on a history podcast, but this little tablet changed society in ways that we're still figuring out today.
LANE: Before the Pill, women had to choose between education and career advancement or starting a family. It's like if someone told me, "Lane, you can either do this podcast or eat sandwiches, but not both."
DAVE: That's a terrible choice! I love sandwiches!
LANE: Within five years of FDA approval, over 6.5 million American women were taking oral contraceptives. That's a lot of people taking a pill every day.
DAVE: I can barely remember to take a vitamin, and that's just once a day. Imagine having to remember something every single day or else you might create a whole new human being. Talk about pressure!
LANE: On May 9th, 1953, Kraft Foods launched Cheez Whiz. You know what Cheez Whiz is? It's cheese that comes in a jar. But it's not really cheese. It's "cheez" with a Z, because they legally can't call it cheese.
DAVE: The government's like, "You can't call that cheese!" And Kraft's like, "What if we spell it with a Z?" And the government's like, "Oh, well that's different then."
LANE: Cheez Whiz was actually developed for the British market as a quick way to make Welsh rarebit, but it found its true home in America, where we apparently needed cheese that could be stored at room temperature indefinitely.
DAVE: It's like the cockroach of food products—it could probably survive a nuclear apocalypse. And yet, we love it on everything from Philly cheesesteaks to nachos.
LANE: The original radio jingle went: "Cheez Whiz, Cheez Whiz, what is it, what is it? Cheez Whiz, Cheez Whiz, it's cheese—but different!"
DAVE: That's the laziest jingle I've ever heard. It's like they gave up halfway through writing it. "What is it? It's cheese but different." That's not a jingle, that's a product description!
LANE: But it worked! Americans love anything that doesn't require refrigeration. We're a very lazy people when it comes to food storage.
LANE: On May 9th, 1958, Alfred Hitchcock's psychological thriller "Vertigo" premiered in San Francisco.
DAVE: Now, this is a great film. It's about Jimmy Stewart being afraid of heights and falling in love with a woman who may or may not be real. Or she's two different women. I'm not sure, I fell asleep halfway through.
LANE: You're kidding, right?
DAVE: Yeah, I'm kidding. It's actually about obsession and deception. Jimmy Stewart's character becomes obsessed with this woman, then she supposedly dies, then he finds another woman who looks just like her and tries to make her become the first woman. It's creepy as hell when you think about it.
LANE: Interestingly, nobody thought it was that great when it came out. Critics were like, "Eh, it's alright." Then decades later, they decided it was the greatest film ever made.
DAVE: That happens a lot in art. Van Gogh never sold a painting while he was alive, and now they're worth millions. The lesson is, I'll probably be considered a genius after I'm dead, which doesn't do me a lot of good now.
LANE: Alright folks, it's time for a quick break. We'll be right back after this message from our sponsors.
LANE: History fans, have you ever wished you could preserve the present moment for future generations to enjoy? Well, that's what Ball Mason Jars are for!
DAVE: That's right! We're talking about the Ball Mason Jar Facebook group, a community of over 100,000 people talking about jars. Can you imagine? "Hey, check out my jar!" "Nice jar!" "My jar is better than your jar!" What a world we live in.
LANE: But hey, these jars have been around since 1880, which means they've survived two World Wars, the Great Depression, disco, and whatever the hell the 90s were.
DAVE: I joined the group last year, and my family has been reaping the delicious benefits. Last summer, I canned tomatoes from my garden using a recipe shared by group member Eleanor from Michigan. Opening that jar in December was like, well, opening a jar of tomatoes.
LANE: The Ball Mason Jar community preserves more than just food—they preserve traditions, family connections, and sustainable living practices. It's like they're sending messages in bottles to their future selves, except the messages are pickles.
DAVE: So if you're interested in creating your own edible time capsules and connecting with a community that values both tradition and innovation, search for "Ball Mason Jar" on Facebook and join the conversation today!
LANE: Tell 'em Lane and Dave sent you. They won't know what that means, but it'll confuse them, and we find that funny.
LANE: And we're back! On May 9th, 1994, Nelson Mandela was sworn in as South Africa's first Black president after spending 27 years in prison for fighting against apartheid.
DAVE: Imagine being in prison for 27 years. I get antsy if I have to wait 27 minutes for a pizza. But Mandela, he comes out of prison and instead of being bitter, he's like, "Let's all get along." And he becomes president!
LANE: That's like if you locked me in a closet for 27 years, and when I came out, I said, "No hard feelings, let's make you dinner."
DAVE: The amazing thing is that many people thought South Africa would descend into civil war during this transition. But it didn't, largely because Mandela was big on reconciliation rather than revenge.
LANE: He established the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which was like, "Tell us the terrible things you did, and we won't put you in jail."
DAVE: It's like if someone stole your car, and instead of going to jail, they just had to admit it on TV. "Yeah, I took Lane's car. I'm sorry." And you're supposed to be like, "Okay, we're good." I don't know if I could do that. I love my car.
LANE: On May 9th, 1974, the U.S. House Judiciary Committee began impeachment hearings against President Richard Nixon for his role in the Watergate scandal.
DAVE: Now, for you young folks, Watergate wasn't about water, and it wasn't about a gate. It was about a hotel called the Watergate, where some guys broke into the Democratic National Committee headquarters.
LANE: But that's not what got Nixon in trouble. It was the cover-up. It's always the cover-up. If Nixon had just said, "Yeah, some overzealous supporters did a stupid thing," he might have been fine.
DAVE: But instead, he was recorded saying things like, "We need to get the CIA to tell the FBI to back off." That's what they call a smoking gun. Although, really, it's just a tape recording. There wasn't an actual gun that was smoking. That would be a different scandal entirely.
LANE: The hearings were televised, which was a big deal back then. People watched government proceedings on TV voluntarily! Can you imagine?
DAVE: Now we can't even get people to watch Game 7 of the World Series without checking their phones every 30 seconds.
LANE: Nixon resigned before the full House could vote on impeachment. He's the only U.S. president to ever resign from office.
DAVE: He's like a guy who quits right before he's about to be fired. "You can't fire me, I quit!" Same result, but somehow it feels better.
LANE: On May 9th, 1997, IBM's supercomputer Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov in a full match, winning the sixth and deciding game.
DAVE: Now, I don't know much about chess. I know the horse moves in an L-shape, and that's about it. But I do know that Kasparov was considered maybe the greatest chess player of all time. And he lost to a computer.
LANE: After losing, Kasparov accused IBM of cheating. He said they must have had humans helping the computer during the games.
DAVE: IBM said, "Nope, it was all the computer." Then they refused a rematch and put Deep Blue in storage forever. That's suspicious behavior if you ask me.
LANE: It's like winning the lottery and immediately moving to a remote island with no extradition treaty.
DAVE: But this was just the beginning of computers beating humans at things. Now they can beat us at Go, Jeopardy!, and probably Twister if they had the right appendages.
LANE: I, for one, welcome our new computer overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted podcast host, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground data caves.
LANE: And finally, on May 9th, 2012, President Barack Obama became the first sitting U.S. president to publicly support same-sex marriage.
DAVE: He was on ABC with Robin Roberts, and he said, "I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."
LANE: That's a lot of qualifying language. "For me personally," "I think," "should be able to." He could have just said, "Gay marriage? I'm for it!" But that's not how politicians talk.
DAVE: They have to add 50 extra words to everything. It's like when your spouse asks if you like their new haircut, and instead of saying "yes" or "no," you start talking about the history of barbering.
LANE: Obama had actually been against same-sex marriage earlier in his career. Then he was for civil unions but not marriage. Then finally he was for marriage.
DAVE: Politicians call this "evolving on an issue." Regular people call it "changing your mind," but that sounds less impressive.
LANE: Three years later, the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage legal nationwide. So Obama's statement didn't directly change the law, but it did help change the conversation.
DAVE: It's like when a popular kid at school starts wearing a certain type of shoes, and suddenly everyone wants those shoes. When the president says something is okay, a lot of people think, "Well, maybe it is okay then."
LANE: And that wraps up our tour through history for May 9th.
DAVE: A lot of stuff happened, huh? Crown jewels, chess computers, birth control pills, Cheez Whiz. Some of it important, some of it not so much.
LANE: You know what's funny about history? We're living through it right now. Something might be happening today that people will talk about 100 years from now.
DAVE: Or not. Most days, nothing historically significant happens. But we never know until later.
LANE: I'm Lane...
DAVE: And I'm Dave, reminding you that the past is just the present, but earlier.
LANE: Thanks for touring with us! We'll see you tomorrow for another journey through time, where we'll talk about a completely different day and the stuff that happened on it.
DAVE: Until then, keep your lids tight and your expectations low!
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