LANE: Welcome to Touring History, the only podcast brave enough to tackle the chaos of June 5th while caffeinated beyond human limits. I'm Lane.
DAVE: And I'm Dave. Before we dive into today's historical mayhem, we need to talk about our sponsor, Death Wish Coffee. Now, I know what you're thinking—"another coffee sponsor pushing weak morning water." But Death Wish isn't just coffee, it's... well, it's basically liquid ambition.
LANE: Founded in 2012 in Saratoga Springs, New York, Death Wish Coffee started when founder Mike Brown had customers literally demanding his strongest cup of coffee. So naturally, he created what is essentially a blend of naturally high-caffeine robusta beans mixed with smooth arabica beans that delivers twice the caffeine of regular coffee. It's like regular coffee's older brother who went to prison and came back really, really strong.
DAVE: They're USDA Organic and Fair Trade Certified, sourcing beans from India, Peru, and throughout South and Central America. So you can feel good about your choice to vibrate at frequencies visible to the naked eye. Check them out at deathwishcoffee.com—because life's too short for weak coffee and too long for decaf.
LANE: Speaking of things that are too long, let's get to June 5th. Dave, I have to ask—what is it about this date that makes history go absolutely bonkers?
DAVE: Well Lane, June 5th is like that friend who seems normal until you spend an entire day with them and realize they're completely unhinged. Today we're covering everything from wars to presidential deaths to the worst dam failure you've never heard of. It's like a highlight reel of human ambition meeting reality in the worst possible ways.
LANE: But first, let's celebrate the people who chose to enter this world on such a chaotic date. June 5th gave us Mark Wahlberg in 1971, who went from talking to plants in "The Happening" to talking to transforming cars in... well, several movies that exist.
DAVE: We also got Troye Sivan in 1995, Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy in 1979, and Brian McKnight in 1969. But my personal favorite is Suze Orman, born in 1951, who has spent decades telling people to stop buying lattes while we're here promoting the strongest coffee known to mankind. There's some beautiful irony there.
LANE: It's like the universe has a sense of humor. Speaking of the universe having a sense of humor, let's talk about 1870 and why Constantinople had one of history's worst days.
DAVE: June 5th, 1870. Constantinople—now Istanbul, but let's not get into that whole thing—experienced what can only be described as nature's equivalent of a really bad Yelp review. The Great Fire of Constantinople killed thousands and basically said, "You know what this ancient city needs? Less of itself."
LANE: This wasn't just any fire, Dave. This was a fire that looked at the Ottoman Empire and said, "I bet I can make your day worse." Thousands died, and entire neighborhoods just... weren't neighborhoods anymore. It's the kind of disaster that makes you appreciate modern fire departments, building codes, and the fact that we don't build entire cities out of what is essentially kindling.
DAVE: And speaking of things that would make your day significantly worse, let's jump ahead to 1947 and talk about America's brilliant plan to rebuild Europe after we'd all finished blowing it up.
LANE: June 5th, 1947. U.S. Secretary of State George Marshall stands up and basically says, "Hey Europe, we know you're currently a smoking crater, but what if we gave you money to not be a smoking crater?" Thus was born the Marshall Plan, possibly the most successful "my bad" gesture in human history.
DAVE: The Marshall Plan was like America's way of saying, "Look, we're sorry about all that war business. Here's $13 billion—which in today's money is roughly the GDP of a small planet—to rebuild your continent. No strings attached. Well, okay, maybe a few strings. Democracy strings. Anti-communist strings. But mostly no strings."
LANE: It's fascinating how America went from "we're not getting involved in European wars" to "here's enough money to rebuild an entire continent" in about six years. It's like the foreign policy equivalent of going from vegetarian to opening a steakhouse.
DAVE: Speaking of conflicts that escalated quickly, June 5th, 1967 marked the beginning of the Six-Day War, which sounds like the world's most intense work week. Israel launched preemptive strikes against Egypt, Jordan, and Syria because apparently someone looked at the Middle East and thought, "You know what this region needs? More tension."
LANE: The Six-Day War was like a really intense game of Risk, except instead of plastic pieces, actual countries were involved. Israel basically said, "We're going to end this conflict in less time than it takes most people to organize their garage," and somehow actually did it. It's military efficiency that would make German engineers weep with joy.
DAVE: And just like any good overachiever, they finished early. By June 10th, it was over. Israel had tripled its territory, which is the kind of productivity that makes the rest of us feel bad about not finishing our weekend projects.
LANE: But let's move from international conflicts to a tragedy that hit much closer to home. June 5th, 1968—actually, technically early morning June 6th, but the shooting happened just after midnight on June 5th—Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated in Los Angeles after winning the California Democratic primary.
DAVE: RFK had just finished a victory speech at the Ambassador Hotel, and was walking through the kitchen when Sirhan Sirhan opened fire. It's one of those moments where you realize how fragile democracy really is—one person with a gun can change the entire trajectory of history. Kennedy had been running on a platform of ending the Vietnam War and addressing civil rights, and his death effectively ended what many thought could have been a transformative presidency.
LANE: The timing is almost cruel. This was just two months after Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, and suddenly America lost another leader who might have been able to heal some of the deep divisions in the country. Instead, 1968 became this perfect storm of political chaos and social upheaval.
DAVE: It's like history was determined to make 1968 the worst year possible. And speaking of years that tested human resilience, let's talk about 1981 and a medical mystery that would define a generation.
LANE: June 5th, 1981. The CDC published a report about five cases of a rare pneumonia in young, previously healthy gay men in Los Angeles. They didn't know it at the time, but this was the first official recognition of what would become known as AIDS—though it wouldn't be called that for another year.
DAVE: This is one of those moments where you can feel history pivoting. Five cases of pneumonia became a report, became a pattern, became a crisis that would fundamentally change medicine, public health, and society. It's remarkable how something so significant can start so quietly—just a footnote in a medical journal that would eventually reshape everything.
LANE: The response to the AIDS crisis revealed both the best and worst of humanity. You had incredible scientific breakthroughs and community activism, but also fear, ignorance, and discrimination that cost countless lives. It's a reminder that medical mysteries aren't just puzzles to be solved—they're human tragedies unfolding in real time.
DAVE: And speaking of things that energize you for the challenges ahead, let's talk about our sponsor again. Death Wish Coffee isn't just about caffeine—though they do deliver twice the caffeine of regular coffee with their blend of robusta and arabica beans.
LANE: What I love about Death Wish is their origin story. Mike Brown was running a failing coffee shop in 2011, barely making $5,000 a month, when customers kept asking for his strongest cup of coffee. Instead of giving up, he created what is essentially coffee's answer to rocket fuel.
DAVE: They even worked with NASA Food Labs to create an instant freeze-dried blend for astronauts on the International Space Station. If it's good enough for people floating in the void of space, it's probably good enough for your Tuesday morning. Get yours at deathwishcoffee.com.
LANE: Now, let's get back to June 5th and talk about some infrastructure failures that make your morning commute problems seem quaint.
DAVE: June 5th, 1975. After eight years of being closed due to the Six-Day War we talked about earlier, Egypt finally reopened the Suez Canal. Now, you might think, "It's just a canal, how big a deal could it be?" Well, imagine if someone blocked the world's most important shortcut for eight years.
LANE: The Suez Canal is like the universe's way of saying, "What if ships didn't have to go all the way around Africa?" It's a 120-mile ditch that saves ships about 4,300 miles of travel. When it closed in 1967, global shipping basically had to relearn geography.
DAVE: Eight years of ships having to take the scenic route around the Cape of Good Hope, which sounds lovely until you realize it adds weeks to shipping times and millions to costs. The reopening was like the world's economy collectively exhaling after holding its breath for nearly a decade.
LANE: Speaking of infrastructure problems, June 5th, 1976 gave us the Teton Dam collapse in Idaho, which is what happens when engineering confidence meets geological reality and reality wins spectacularly.
DAVE: The Teton Dam was completed in 1975, so it lasted exactly one year before deciding to become a cautionary tale. On June 5th, the dam failed catastrophically, releasing 80 billion gallons of water that basically said, "Hello, Snake River Plain, we're redecorating."
LANE: Eleven people died, and thousands were left homeless. Entire towns were just... gone. It's one of those disasters where you look at the before and after photos and think, "Well, that escalated quickly." The dam went from "engineering marvel" to "expensive lesson in soil mechanics" in about six hours.
DAVE: And here's the thing that really gets me—this was a federal dam, built by the Bureau of Reclamation, completed just a year earlier. It's like buying a new car and having the engine fall out on the highway. Except instead of being stranded, you're responsible for flooding an entire valley.
LANE: Moving to more recent history, June 5th, 2002 marked the beginning of one of the most widely covered missing person cases of the early 2000s when 14-year-old Elizabeth Smart was abducted from her bedroom in Salt Lake City.
DAVE: The Elizabeth Smart case became this perfect storm of media coverage, public fascination, and genuine concern. For nine months, her face was everywhere—milk cartons, news programs, missing person posters. It was like the entire country was searching for her.
LANE: What made it even more remarkable was how it ended. She was found alive in March 2003, just 18 miles from her home, with her captors Brian David Mitchell and Wanda Barzee. The whole case became this study in how missing person investigations work, how media coverage can both help and hinder searches, and how resilient human beings can be.
DAVE: It's also a reminder that sometimes the impossible happens—sometimes the missing person comes home alive. In a world where these stories usually end tragically, Elizabeth Smart's survival and recovery became a symbol of hope for families everywhere dealing with similar situations.
LANE: June 5th, 2004 marked the death of Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States, at age 93. Now, say what you will about Reagan's politics—and people have said plenty—but his death marked the end of an era in American politics.
DAVE: Reagan died after a decade-long battle with Alzheimer's disease, which he announced in 1994 with characteristic grace and humor. His letter to the American people about his diagnosis was like a master class in facing the inevitable with dignity. "I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life," he wrote. Even facing dementia, the man could turn a phrase.
LANE: The funeral was this massive state occasion that brought together people from across the political spectrum. You had world leaders, Hollywood celebrities, and ordinary Americans who just wanted to pay their respects. It was one of those moments where partisan politics took a back seat to human decency.
DAVE: What struck me about the reaction to Reagan's death was how it reminded everyone that beneath all the political theater, these are human beings with families who love them. Nancy Reagan's grief was palpable, and suddenly Reagan wasn't the conservative icon or liberal boogeyman—he was just a husband and father who was gone.
LANE: And speaking of losses that felt personal to millions of people, June 5th, 2012 marked the death of Ray Bradbury at age 91. Now, if you've never read Bradbury, imagine someone who looked at the future and said, "This is going to be absolutely terrifying, and I'm going to write beautiful stories about it."
DAVE: Bradbury gave us "Fahrenheit 451," "The Martian Chronicles," and hundreds of short stories that basically predicted everything from flat-screen TVs to the internet to our current obsession with burning books—metaphorically speaking. Well, mostly metaphorically.
LANE: What made Bradbury special wasn't just that he predicted the future—lots of science fiction writers do that—it's that he understood the human cost of technological progress. He looked at innovations and asked, "But what does this do to our souls?" It's a question we're still trying to answer.
DAVE: His writing had this beautiful melancholy to it, like he was simultaneously amazed by human creativity and terrified by human stupidity. He was the kind of writer who could make you excited about rocket ships and existentially worried about television in the same paragraph.
LANE: Finally, let's end with June 5th, 2017, when Montenegro became the 29th member of NATO. Now, Montenegro is a country with about 630,000 people—roughly the population of Milwaukee—but its NATO membership was hugely significant geopolitically.
DAVE: Montenegro's NATO membership was basically the West saying, "We're still here, and we're still expanding," while Russia was saying, "We strongly object to this expansion." It's like a very polite, very high-stakes game of Risk where the pieces are actual countries.
LANE: What's fascinating is that Montenegro had only been an independent country since 2006—it had been part of Yugoslavia, then Serbia and Montenegro, and suddenly it's in the same military alliance as the United States and France. That's quite a diplomatic journey in just over a decade.
DAVE: It's also a reminder that history doesn't stop. While we're here talking about events from decades or centuries ago, new history is being made every day. Montenegro joining NATO might seem like a footnote now, but in 50 years, historians might look back at it as a crucial moment in European security.
LANE: And that's June 5th—a date that proves history has absolutely no chill. From ancient fires to modern geopolitics, from medical mysteries to engineering disasters, it's like the universe decided to pack an entire semester of history into one day.
DAVE: Thanks for joining us on this caffeine-fueled journey through June 5th. Remember, life's too short for weak coffee and too long for boring history.
LANE: Visit our sponsor at deathwishcoffee.com for coffee strong enough to keep you awake while contemplating the chaos of human existence. And we'll see you next time on Touring History.
DAVE: Stay curious, stay caffeinated, and remember—every day is history in the making. We just don't know what kind of history yet.
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