[OPENING MUSIC FADES]
DAVE [DRESSED AS A LIFEGUARD WITH MIRRORED SUNGLASSES, ZINC OXIDE ON HIS NOSE, AND NO SHIRT]: Hello, temporal tourists! I'm Dave—
LANE: And I'm Lane, and welcome back to "Touring History X, Y, and Z," where we learn that progress is like a really expensive watch—it looks impressive, but good luck understanding how all the pieces actually work together.
DAVE: Before we dive into July 17th's historical smorgasbord, a word from our sponsor, GEARYS Rolex Boutiques of Los Angeles. And look, I know what you're thinking—"Why is a history podcast sponsored by luxury watches?"
LANE: Well, because unlike most things in history, a Rolex actually holds its value and doesn't suddenly collapse due to poor leadership decisions or existential dread.
DAVE: GEARYS has locations in Beverly Hills, Century City, and Santa Monica, because apparently even time itself needs multiple zip codes in LA. Visit rolexboutique-rodeodrive.com and discover why some things are built to last longer than most democracies.
LANE: Speaking of things that lasted way longer than they should have—Dave, you're looking absolutely jacked today. Very "Lifeguard Dave" vibes. Are you channeling some David Hasselhoff energy for his birthday?
DAVE: I mean, I did hit the gym this morning...
LANE: Because honestly, you're giving me serious Baywatch flashbacks. If we were doing this podcast on the beach, you'd definitely be running in slow motion right now.
DAVE: Can we please focus on history instead of my... fitness routine?
LANE: Fine, but just know that somewhere, The Hoff is proud. July 17th, Dave—and what really gets me about this date is how it's all about the gap between what we build and what we actually accomplish.
SEZSO SPEAKS!
LANE: Well, you’ve heard about Sezso, our animatronic answering machine and how you can send your voice memo in calling out your favorite historical event and date, and we’ll have Sezso share it with the entire Touring History audience.
DAVE: And today…it, is…alive!!!!...you can tell Sezso is just bursting to share something with us, so let’s hit play and see what our listeners have to say.
LISTENER: Hey Lane & Dave, this is Cole from Pasadena, California! I love what you all doing with the show and watching it evolve, so I had to send in my voice memo - hopefully I’m one of the first recordings Sezso brings to life! My historical shout out is for July 17th - this is an important day in history to me because (Cole - you can make up whatever you want here - doesn’t have to be true…eg. July 17th is when I received a recruiting offer from Yale University to join their men’s lacrosse team - )
LANE:
[AI Image Prompt: A beach-themed birthday celebration featuring David Hasselhoff in lifeguard attire alongside other July 17th celebrities, with "July 17th" in bold beach-style lettering, sunset lighting with a nostalgic 1980s aesthetic]
DAVE: Birthday legends include the man himself, David Hasselhoff at 73—proving that sometimes the most ridiculous thing becomes the most beloved thing—
[AI Image Prompt: David Hasselhoff in his iconic red Baywatch lifeguard outfit running on the beach, dramatic slow-motion effect with golden hour lighting and ocean waves]
LANE: Country superstar Luke Bryan at 49, legendary sports broadcaster Verne Lundquist at 85, and former German Chancellor Angela Merkel at 71.
[AI Image Prompt: A sophisticated portrait of Angela Merkel in her chancellor attire alongside Luke Bryan with his guitar, representing leadership and entertainment excellence with professional lighting]
DAVE: Merkel, by the way, who managed to be the actual leader of the free world while everyone was arguing about who deserved the title.
DAVE: July 17th, 1955—Disneyland opens in Anaheim, California, and within ten weeks draws one million visitors, basically inventing the modern theme park and proving that escapism could be a legitimate business model.
[AI Image Prompt: 1950s Disneyland opening day with families in period clothing walking through the gates, vintage Americana styling with bright optimistic lighting and classic Disney castle in background]
LANE: And here's why this matters specifically to Gen X—you're the generation that learned the difference between manufactured magic and authentic experiences.
DAVE: Right! Gen X grew up with Disneyland as this established institution, but you also lived through the corporatization of childhood wonder. You learned to spot when "magic" was really just expensive marketing.
LANE: Exactly! We're the latchkey kids who understood that sometimes the most magical experiences were the ones your parents couldn't afford to buy for you.
DAVE: Gen X developed this fascinating relationship with Disney—appreciating the craftsmanship while being completely cynical about the business model behind it.
LANE: We learned early that "the happiest place on Earth" required very specific economic circumstances to access, and that maybe happiness shouldn't be a premium experience.
DAVE: It's like Gen X took Walt's vision and thought, "This is beautiful, but why does wonder have to cost $200 a day?"
LANE: July 17th, 1998—The Rome Statute creates the International Criminal Court, establishing a permanent tribunal to prosecute genocide, crimes against humanity, and war crimes.
[AI Image Prompt: Formal international treaty signing ceremony with diplomats from multiple nations, dignified lighting in a grand governmental setting with flags representing global cooperation and justice]
DAVE: And this hits Millennials in this very specific way about global accountability and institutional trust.
LANE: Like…it would be good to have some?
DAVE: Millennials are the first generation to grow up believing that international law should actually mean something, but then watching it get ignored whenever it became inconvenient.
LANE: So the ICC represented this promise of global accountability? Sounds good…
DAVE: Exactly! Millennials learned about the ICC in school thinking, "Finally, there's a system to hold powerful people accountable for atrocities." And then they watched world leaders just... not participate when it suited them.
LANE: It's like Millennials inherited this beautiful idea about global justice, and then had to watch it get undermined by the very people it was designed to prosecute.
DAVE: Right! The ICC exists, it has jurisdiction, it issues warrants—and then countries just shrug and say, "Yeah, we're not going to enforce that."
LANE: Millennials developed this very sophisticated understanding of how international institutions can be both morally necessary and practically toothless at the same time.
DAVE: Speaking of things that actually work as intended—GEARYS Rolex Boutiques. A Rolex doesn't promise to stop war crimes, but it will definitely tell you exactly what time those war crimes are happening.
LANE: And unlike international treaties, a Rolex comes with an actual warranty that gets honored. GEARYS has locations in Beverly Hills, Century City, and Santa Monica—because precision matters, even if justice is optional.
DAVE: Browse through all the amazing watch designs and styles on Rolex.com or even better, see them in person at your nearest GEARYS location, and invest in something that actually delivers on its promises.
LANE: Plus, Dave would look amazing in a Submariner. Very "international waters lifeguard" energy.
DAVE: Can we please—
LANE: The Hoff would approve! Moving on...
DAVE: July 17th, 1936—The Spanish Civil War begins with a military uprising, serving as a brutal preview of World War II and proving that fascism doesn't emerge overnight—it builds momentum through institutional capture.
[AI Image Prompt: Spanish Civil War scene with citizens and soldiers in 1930s period dress, dramatic wartime lighting capturing the conflict between democracy and fascism, somber historical atmosphere]
LANE: And Gen Z looks at this completely differently than previous generations.
DAVE: How so?
LANE: Gen Z sees the Spanish Civil War and immediately recognizes all the warning signs they're watching for in real time—democratic backsliding, institutional capture, normalization of political violence.
DAVE: That's brilliant! Where older generations might see this as historical tragedy, Gen Z sees it as a playbook they need to understand to prevent repetition.
LANE: Exactly! Gen Z doesn't have the luxury of thinking "that could never happen here" because they're watching democratic institutions get stress-tested every day.
DAVE: Right! Gen Z learned early that democracy isn't self-sustaining—it requires active participation and constant vigilance.
LANE: They're the generation that understands that fascism doesn't announce itself with dramatic coups—it starts with people saying "this is fine" while institutions slowly get captured.
DAVE: Gen Z looks at 1936 Spain and thinks, "Okay, what were the early warning signs, and how do we spot them before it's too late?"
LANE: It's this very practical approach to historical analysis—not just learning what happened, but learning how to prevent it from happening again.
DAVE: So July 17th gives us three different approaches to recognizing manufactured realities—
LANE: Gen X learned to spot when magic is just expensive marketing, Millennials discovered that beautiful institutions can be practically useless, and Gen Z is studying historical patterns to prevent democratic collapse.
DAVE: From corporate cynicism to institutional disappointment to preventive historical analysis—each generation developed better tools for seeing through pretty facades.
LANE: Thanks to GEARYS Rolex Boutiques for sponsoring a show about time with products that actually respect time's value. Visit rolexboutique-rodeodrive.com and invest in precision.
DAVE: If July 17th's lessons about manufactured realities resonated with you, like and subscribe, and send us a voice memo about a moment when you realized something impressive was really just expensive smoke and mirrors.
LANE: Sezso our animatronic answering machine will animate your story—and unlike most institutions, it'll actually work as advertised.
DAVE: Until next time, this has been "Touring History X, Y, and Z"—
LANE: Where time marches on, watches keep ticking, and Dave looks fantastic in swim trunks.
DAVE: I'm never living this down, am I?
LANE: Not a chance, Lifeguard Dave.