In this episode we dive deep with Dr. Etel Leit into love, relationships, intimacy, self-work and the patterns that keep us stuck. We explore how acceptance (not change) is the heart of love, why we keep attracting the "same partner" in different bodies, how to heal childhood wounds and nervous-system patterns (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) that block connection, and how desire evolves over time in long-term relationships. Dr. Leit also shares her own story of transformation, the 3 V's of soulmate relational alignment (Vibe, Values, Vision), and practical tools for couples and singles alike to deepen intimacy and create relationship that actually feels good.
Highlights:
The difference between transactional vs reciprocal love
Why saying "Thank you" often matters more than "I love you"
The meaning of acceptance in partner love
How your partner reflects what you still need to heal
Nervous-system survival responses in relationships (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)
How to shift from self-blame and "monkey talk" ("he did this… she did that…") to owning your reflection
The "3 V's" of relationship alignment: Vibe, Values, Vision
How desire and sex evolve after kids, mid-life, and long together
Tools: Eye-gazing exercise, holding space without performance, from mother-mode back to woman/sensual mode
Her personal journey: from a home of chasing love, near-death experience, divorce, deep inner work, and then finding a love that felt real
Advice for singles, second marriages, parents, high-achieving professionals.
0:00 – Introduction & welcome
2:30 – Guest background: Dr. Leit's journey into love-work
6:15 – Growing up in a home of "chasing love" and what that taught her
10:40 – What is real love vs transactional love
14:20 – How acceptance transforms relationships
18:55 – Why we keep attracting the same partner in different bodies
23:30 – Nervous-system survival responses (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) in relationships
28:10 – How long does healing take? "God is not wearing a watch."
32:00 – The 3 V's of healthy partner alignment: Vibe, Values, Vision
36:45 – Sex, desire, role play, and sustaining intimacy after kids
42:50 – Exercise: eye-gazing for 2 minutes & other non-sexual intimacy tools
46:30 – When staying in a relationship because of the kids vs choosing each other
50:10 – Final pearls of wisdom: "It's not how much you love — it's how much you allow yourself to be loved."
52:30 – Rapid-fire listener questions / audience questions
57:00 – Closing remarks & thanks
Resources/Recommended Links:
Dr. Etel Leit's website: dretelleit.com
Follow her on Instagram: @dretelleit
Book her for speaking/events: media@dretelleit.com
Book: UnAddicted to You (and other books)
