In this powerful and deeply honest episode of What She's Having, Jennifer and Britney sit down with renowned therapist Dr. Paul Hersh for a wide-ranging conversation on trauma, healing, relationships, and emotional maturity.
Known for his ability to cut through emotional noise and get to the truth quickly, Dr. Hersh shares decades of insight on why pain is unavoidable, how trauma actually heals, and why emotional growth is less about "moving on" and more about changing our relationship to what hurt us.
Together, they explore everything from childhood wounds and grief to marriage agreements, infidelity, narcissism, and the emotional skills most of us were never taught. This episode is raw, compassionate, and full of practical wisdom for anyone navigating relationships, loss, or personal growth—especially after 40.
If you've ever wondered why healing takes time, why relationships break down, or how to build emotional resilience without losing yourself, this conversation will stay with you.
00:00 – Introduction: Why this conversation may change how you see healing
02:20 – Dr. Hersh's background & how early life shapes emotional lenses
05:13 – Formative years, childhood trauma & emotional foundations
09:04 – Why pain and suffering are unavoidable parts of life
11:09 – Parenting, resilience & the danger of the "perfect bubble"
13:03 – Can trauma truly heal? What healing actually looks like
16:10 – "I thought if I started crying, I'd never stop"
19:40 – When does trauma end? How our relationship to it evolves
21:14 – Relationship agreements & emotional accountability
23:14 – Why only one person can "go crazy" at a time
26:18 – Containment, conflict & knowing when to step away
29:11 – Trust in couples therapy: men vs. women
32:03 – Ego, humility & why some partners need "wins"
35:59 – Bickering, memory disputes & letting go of being right
40:58 – Infidelity: can relationships survive betrayal?
47:02 – Why "I'm sorry" may need to last forever
49:30 – Narcissism explained: healthy vs. pathological
52:57 – Choosing friends, outgrowing relationships & emotional alignment
59:13 – Grief: how to survive the unbearable moments
1:03:19 – Creating meaning after loss
1:04:40 – Why deep suffering expands our capacity for joy
1:08:46 – Final reflections & closing thoughts
Dr. Paul Hersh
🌐 Website: https://www.drpaulhersh.com
📸 Instagram: @dr.paulhersh
Podcast: What She's Having
🎙️ Hosts: Jennifer & Brittney
📸 Instagram: @officialwhatsheshaving
🎧 Available on: Apple Podcasts, Spotify & YouTube
Follow the show: @officialwhatsheshaving
Rate & review: Apple Podcasts + Spotify (it helps more than you know!)
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