Why Negotiating Feels Risky What Successful Negotiators Do Differently
Negotiation skills for women leaders shape far more than pay. They influence power, energy, and long-term career alignment.
Negotiation is happening every day. Not just in compensation conversations, but in expectations, workload, influence, and career trajectory.
Yet for many leaders, especially women, advocating for themselves still feels uncomfortable… even risky.
In this episode of Impact With Ease, Blake is joined by executive coach and nationally recognized women's leadership expert Kathryn Valentine to unpack why negotiation feels so charged, what leaders are unintentionally leaving on the table, and how to approach advocacy in a way that builds influence instead of backlash.
You'll hear why traditional negotiation advice — much of it built around male behavioral norms — can actually disadvantage women when applied directly. Kathryn introduces a relational negotiation framework that centers shared impact, collaboration, and strategic positioning rather than confrontation.
Episode Highlights
Why Negotiating Still Feels Risky
[08:14] – Women face higher backlash risk when negotiating for themselves
[10:32] – Why fear around negotiation is justified (and solvable)
[12:48] – The reputational concerns that silence capable leaders
The Advice Gap Women Face
[18:21] – Why most negotiation frameworks were built for men
[20:05] – How traditional tactics can unintentionally create resistance
[22:17] – The hidden cost of using the wrong tools
Negotiation Beyond Salary
[26:30] – The dozens of micro-negotiations leaders engage in daily
[28:12] – Scope, deadlines, resources, and expectations are all negotiable
[30:05] – How unconscious "yes" decisions compound into burnout
The Relational Negotiation Framework
[33:42] – Past performance + future vision as anchors
[35:18] – Shifting from adversarial to collaborative framing
[37:44] – Using "What do you think?" to create partnership instead of pushback
The AI Bias Leaders Aren't Talking About
[41:14] – Research showing AI may recommend women ask for 21% less than men
[43:10] – Why salary benchmarking shortcuts can reinforce inequity
[45:02] – Where AI helps — and where human strategy is still essential
Powerful Quotes
"A lot of women carry fear about negotiation, and that fear is justified. We are at a higher risk of backlash when negotiating on behalf of ourselves than men are. The exciting part is there's also a solution to that." – Kathryn Valentine
"A yes to anything is a no to something. The question is: what are you saying no to — and is that a trade-off you're willing to make?" – Kathryn Valentine
"We are negotiating every single day. And those micro-negotiations can change the course of your career." – Kathryn Valentine
"Change happens in small day-to-day actions that create a powerful domino effect." – Blake Schofield
Resources Mentioned
Connect with Kathryn Valentine:
Link to our FREE 76 things resource!
https://worthmorestrategies.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kval/
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