SUMMARY
Leadership expert, psychologist, and bestselling author Dr. Relly Nadler reveals why most executives operate on autopilot 95% of the time—and how that undermines communication, accountability, and team development. He explains emotional intelligence as "awareness plus management," and shares practical tools such as the Emotional Audit, a 15-second technique to create pause, reflection, and better choices in the moment. Relly discusses unmet expectations as the root of stress, why leaders default to fault-finding, and how curiosity can interrupt reactive behavior. He shares personal stories, insights from 30 years coaching thousands of leaders, and guidance on how practicing emotional intelligence at home accelerates impact at work. A powerful conversation on breaking patterns, elevating awareness, and developing top-tier leadership behaviors.
TAKEAWAYS
Autopilot = average. Without intentional pause, leaders repeat the same reactions.
Stress = unmet expectations. Clarity of expectations reduces friction.
The Emotional Audit (thinking, feeling, intention, self-interference, best next action) is a rapid way to shift behavior.
Leaders often assume the issue is external—but the highest leverage point is internal.
Curiosity interrupts reactivity. Asking questions creates space for better decisions.
Emotional intelligence is declining globally, creating what Relly calls an "emotional recession."
Practicing EQ outside of work strengthens leadership at work.
SOUNDBITES
"If you stay on autopilot, you stay average."
"Stress is unmet expectations."
"Leaders default to finding fault."
"In 15 seconds, you can have more emotional intelligence."
"Asking questions is a pause for the leader."
"Top 10% leaders don't just work harder—they work smarter with intentional behaviors."
TIMESTAMPS
00:02 — Intro to Relly Nadler & emotional intelligence
02:04 — Why leaders revert to autopilot
03:32 — Stress as unmet expectations
04:33 — Communication & accountability challenges
06:52 — How to create the pause
08:37 — The Emotional Audit (5 questions)
12:51 — Practice vs. performance: building new neural pathways
15:59 — Practicing EQ at home
18:07 — Teaching EQ to others accelerates your own growth
19:33 — What leaders struggle with but don't see
22:35 — Leadership's default: finding fault
24:45 — Vulnerability & imposter syndrome
25:11 — Relly's personal turning points
31:26 — The biggest challenge facing leaders today
32:52 — Emotional intelligence decline: an emotional recession
35:04 — When Relly is on autopilot
37:18 — Why executives should listen to him
38:56 — How to connect with Relly
CONTACT LINKS FOR THE GUEST
Website: https://drrellynadler.com
Free e-books, podcasts, tools, blog: Available on his website
Psychology Today Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/leading-with-emotional-intelligence/202507/the-power-of-talking-things-out
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rnadler/
KEYWORD TAGS
Emotional Intelligence, Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, Autopilot Behavior, Communication Skills, Accountability, Team Development, Self-Awareness, Moment Mastery, Stress Management, Curiosity in Leadership, Neuroscience of Leadership, Relly Nadler, David Suson Podcast
