When I was in the fifth grade my social studies class did a game that took up about half of the year. Big game, right?
We simulated the Oregon trail in our class and every day we made decision about how we were going to get from where we were starting to our new homes out west. I was super excited because I had made it so far. Then one day, one terrible day, fate struck me.
I fell out of my wagon and landed on a cactus and died from it. I'll never forget that cruel day, Mrs. Archie.
The comedian Demetri Martin makes a really fun joke about cactuses as well (and yes, you can say cactuses or cacti). He makes this joke saying that he wanted to get a plant, so he bought a cactus. Then a couple weeks later the cactus died. That is when he realized that he himself is less nurturing than a desert.
I have wanted to talk about introverts and extroverts for a while and I couldn't think of a great example of what an introvert would be. Then it hit me. Introverts are a lot like cactuses. Let me explain.
You see, all plants need two essential things to live. For the sake of this example let us consider water to be social interactions, and we will consider sunlight to be solitude, alone time, or personal reflection. All three of those sort of are encompassed within the same idea for an introvert and they may be a little bit different for extroverts, but let us talk about that.
A cactus needs a little bit of water and a lot of sunlight. If you over-water a cactus it actually suffers from the abundance of water. With the little water that it gets, it slowly processes it through the use of all of that extra sunlight that it absorbs. It does not make it a bad plant, it just makes it a plant that is well equipped for that scenario.
Just like a cactus is well equipped for a little bit of water and a lot of sunlight, so are introverts well equipped for a little bit of social interaction and a lot of solitude, personal time, and reflection.
A cactus really makes the most out of the water that it has. If you cut a cactus it actually drips out water. It absorbs that water and processes it slowly, thinking about each and every drop that it uses to produce energy.
That is what introverts do. We have a social interaction with somebody and then we (introverts) process it over a very long amount of time, getting the very most out of it. It is not that introverts are bad with social interactions, it is that they get overwhelmed with social interactions.
Too much mater makes a cactus sick and die. It is the same for introverts sort of, I mean that they do not die but they definitely do get overwhelmed by all of that excess social interaction.
Imagine with me for a moment that we took a cactus out of the desert and put it into the Amazonian Rainforest.
In the desert, the cactus does great. It is in fact one of the tallest plants in the desert. But in the Amazon, it is dwarfed by the trees. It barely bites at the ankles of the trees in the rainforest.
Not only is this cactus small, but it is also not going to get very much sunlight because the trees above are so huge that they block out all of the sunlight. Their leaves absorb it all before it even gets to where the cactus would be.
And, there's way too much water! The Amazon Rainforest has rain all of the time. That is why they call it a rainforest.
If you put a cactus in the rainforest it is going to struggle. There is just too much water and not enough sunlight. That is what it comes down to.
This is the reality for introverts.
There is too much social interaction for us (introverts) in most of the every day world and not enough time for solitude, alone time or self reflection.
In the desert you do not see cactuses bunched up real tight up against each other, but trees in the Amazon Rainforest are that way because that is how they work. Those trees are well equipped for being next to one another. Bumping into one another, having their branches interweave.
But cactuses and their arms do not intermingle. When you think about an iconic desert scene you do not see a bunch of cactuses huddled together. You see them spread out with lots of space between them because they are cactuses.
They need all of the sunlight they can get, they are not very social plants. The amazonian trees are very social.
Let me make this clear.
I firmly believe that there is a place in the world for introverts and I think that they are very important for us to have. I am one of them! But this world is not very friendly towards introverts. There is just not enough space for them.
I have an ask for both introverts and extroverts that may just make this world a little bit better for all of us.
Find your pocket of sunlight. This means that you need to actively pursue the places where you can get the solitude that you need in order to survive and thrive.
Be very explicit if you have to leave a social interaction. Do not tell people that you need a break from them but explain that you need time for yourself to process your day and all of the interaction that you have had already.
People will understand you. If they do not understand you then send them back to this blogcast. They will get it after they hear exactly what it is that you need to thrive.
Make a pocket of space for the introverts in your life. Please!
At the beginning of this blogpost I was talking about how introverts and extroverts process interactions differently. This means that a cactus needs its sunlight by itself where amazonian trees process sunlight as a group next to one another in the rainforest.
If for nothing else then to save yourself from being prickled by a cactus introvert, give them some space. It is not that they need it all of the time but that they do need it in order to be well off.
Cactus blooms are very beautiful. I encourage you to go and google your way through many many images of cactus blooms.
A cactus will not be able to bloom if it doesn't have what it needs to do so. Introverts are very much the same way.
If introverts do not have the space that they need then they are not going to be able to bloom.
The world that we live in is vast and beautiful. There are spaces for introverts and extroverts alike. I definitely that this helps give you an idea of the introvert and what they are like and language you can use to talk about introverts with an introvert. Because, a good cactus is a happy cactus.
Introverts are a lot like cactuses. All plants need water and sunlight.
To introverts, water is social interactions, and sunlight is solitude, alone time, or personal reflection. Just like a cactus is well equipped for a little bit of water and a lot of sunlight, so are introverts well equipped for a little bit of social interaction and a lot of solitude, personal time, and reflection.
Introverts process social interactions over a very long amount of time, getting the very most out of them.
There is too much social interaction for introverts in most of the every day world and not enough time for solitude, alone time, or self reflection. There is a place in the world for introverts and I think that they are very important for us to have. This world is not very friendly towards introverts.
Introverts: Find your pocket of sunlight.
Extroverts with introvert friends: Make a pocket of space for the introverts in your life, Please!
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Where are there pockets in your life with abundant sunlight?
How can you make more safe space for your introvert friends?
