In this Valentine's Day episode of Generation Artax, we wax nostalgic about Hallmark Holidays of yore, including: Kim's need to be the patron saint of lollipops; why Lori wore an "I Heart Girls" pin; why Terri loves gifts as much as Lori hates them, and how Lori lived real-life drama at theater camp when she's cast opposite her ex in Phantom of the Opera. (It all works out in the end.) PLUS: Original music by Jared Zeus, sung by Lori.
- Everybody gets a Valentine. It's a rule.
- Kim is the patron saint of Valentine's, and buys Treaties for nobody's sweeties, because she feels bad.
- Kim feels embarrassed by all the love she received in candy form
- Everyone gets a I HEART BOYS pin except Lori, because she's too young to heart boys
- Young Terri has the least feminist shirt ever
- Kim's boyfriend's dad brings her a box of chocolate
- Terri loves gifts
- Lori hates gifts
- One time, at theater camp…
- Terri hooks up with Lori's ex because that's normal
- A guaranteed heartbreak cure that Lori discovered
- Lori sings one of Jared Zeus's original songs and it's amazing
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