Infertility and Pregnancy Loss
An interview with Tracy Gilmour-Nimoy, LMFT, on understanding infertility as well as pregnancy and infant loss. Curt and Katie interview Tracy, a certified perinatal mental health professional, on what the medical and mental health professions often miss related to reproductive health and pregnancy. We dig into the basics and common mistakes as well as the harm caused when therapists are uninformed. We explore trauma, grief, and the invisibility of these common struggles faced by some who want to have children.
It’s time to reimagine therapy and what it means to be a therapist. To support you as a whole person and a therapist, your hosts, Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy talk about how to approach the role of therapist in the modern age.
Interview with Tracy Gilmour-Nimoy, LMFT and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional
Tracy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional. She has a group practice in San Diego, CA, where she specializes in working with individuals who have experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, reproductive mental health, perinatal mental health, maternal mental health, paternal mental health, grief, loss, life transitions, and relational challenges, to name a few. In addition to her love of mental health, Tracy is an avid reader and writer. Her articles have appeared on her mental health blog and other public forums, such as Scary Mommy. She writes about varying mental health topics, as well as her personal experiences of infant loss, grief, and trauma. To learn more about Tracy, connect with her on Instagram @TGNtherapy
In this episode we talk about:
What we missed in our episode about navigating pregnancy
How hidden infertility and pregnancy loss is in society, how the conversation is taboo
The lack of trauma-informed care within the medical field
The problems of assumptions around fertility and whether people want children
The way that common questions can be triggering and traumatizing
How dismissive of the grief people are when it deals with infant and pregnancy loss
The rose-tinted lenses that hurt women during the whole process of getting pregnant and having a baby
How hidden it is and how little discussed are all the stages of women’s development
The gaps in therapist training related to infertility and pregnancy/infant loss
The focus on the baby versus the parent
Ideas for advocacy within the educational and medical systems
The discomfort with sitting with these types of experiences and losses
The tendency of people wanting to fix it and move forward without accounting for loss and recognizing when it cannot be fixed
The shadow losses and losses of an absence
Holding space for grief and loss, for how horrible it is
What therapists need to know about infertility
The importance of understanding the medical terminology, the financial burden, the emotional implications of the fertility process
The internal focus on how the body works and what to do for your body
The identity aspects related to motherhood or not becoming a mother
What therapists need to know about pregnancy and infancy loss
The perception of the death of their child
Traditions to honor the child who didn’t come home
The importance of remembering dates for individuals who have infant and pregnancy loss
Acknowledging loss, using language or names that are relevant
Honoring how they view their parental status after a loss
