Ep. 76 Learning to set and implement boundaries can be difficult for many people. It’s even more difficult with people you care about. Those closest to us know our strengths and weaknesses and may not believe the boundary you are setting is necessary causing stress to you and your relationship. However challenging, it is essential for your well-being.
During Kelly Marie’s recovery from spinal laminectomy and fusion, she had to assert herself and implement all of the tools she so regularly talks about. Not only did it not work, but she was concerned about the effects the process would have on her recovery journey. Wiping tears from her eyes, she dug deep, stood firm, prioritized her healing, and was able to establish the boundary and maintain her relationship.
Here are 6 steps you can take to set boundaries with those closest to you:
Reflect on your why: Take time to identify your personal boundaries, what is important to you and why. Understand your limits, values, and needs. This self-awareness will provide a solid foundation for establishing and communicating your boundaries effectively.
Be clear and firm: Clearly and assertively express your boundaries to the person. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior or actions impact you. Be direct, firm, and respectful of your relationship. Pro tip: Avoid apologizing or justifying the boundary.
Be consistent: Consistency is key when setting boundaries. Make sure to reinforce your boundaries consistently over time. People may test or push your boundaries initially, but by consistently sticking to them, you send a clear message that your needs are non-negotiable.
Seek support: It can be helpful to seek support from someone you trust. Discuss your challenges and strategies for setting boundaries. They can hold space for you, offer advice, and encourage you throughout the process.
Seek professional help if needed: If you're finding it challenging to set boundaries or facing ongoing difficulties with someone not respecting your boundaries, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance, support, and strategies for your specific situation.
Practice self-care (this is really number 1 and the overall reason for setting boundaries in the first place): Prioritize self-care to maintain your well-being. Taking care of yourself strengthens your ability to establish and uphold boundaries. Engage in activities that recharge you, like setting aside time for self-reflection. Be kind to yourself and give you the grace you give others.
Remember that setting and maintaining boundaries is a process that takes time and practice. It's normal to encounter resistance or discomfort but prioritizing your well-being and advocating for your boundaries is an important part of self-care. Stay committed to yourself and your boundaries and surround yourself with people who respect and value your limits.
Credits
Hosted by Coach Kelly Marie, founder of Front Seat Life LLC
IG @thefrontseatlife FB @thefrontseatlife Email FrontSeatLife@gmail.com
Produced & edited by JazzCast Pros
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Other episodes you'll enjoy:
Spine Surgery: My Journey with Spinal Laminectomy and Fusion
Finding Strength in Vulnerability: Facing Grief, Loss & Disability Head-On
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