On this episode guest host Bob Conlin presents another of his relationship episodes, this time he opens up after his last episode about the quote from Rumi, and he shares some personal awareness’s about who he is in relationships to see if it generates any awareness for you.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
I went to a retreat in May, which happened to be on Mother’s Day weekend and also happened to be my birthday. I went into the retreat with the intention of really healing my internal child, who I am in relationships and finding where are some of these barriers within myself that I’ve built against love. The biggest ‘a-ha’ I got was around who I am being when it comes to the relationship that my wife and son have with each other – that I could never completely understand that.
My wife’s body fed and nurtured my son, not just inside the womb but after he was born. Being his father, I could never comprehend those experiences. We have different experiences. But, there’s a bond there that exists but is different in the relationship I have with my son, I relate to the relationship that they have, which is more biological/spiritual/cosmic. I noticed I was having a hard time dealing with that love that they have for each other, that maternal relationship.
My background is in critical care nursing, I was trained in science, I’m a very heart-led, spiritual person, but I also have a very solid analytical, logistical, scientific mind. My wife and I started having differences or disagreements around how we wee going to care for our child, especially – and almost solely – when he was ill or sick. Children in day-care a sick a lot. Her philosophy and how she wants to treat the child is different from mine and I was noticing it was creating conflict. What I was doing was making my wife wrong, my thoughts were more right, she was making things harder and I was here to make things easier. What I got ion this awareness I had during this meditation was that this was a way I was creating a barrier to love – either to witnessing love or receiving love.
A lot of things I can’t comprehend, I want to build a wall against or make it wrong, let them know it’s wrong and push up against it and fight it because I can’t understand it so it must be wrong – which is totally false! The big a-ha is that I don’t have to understand it or get it always, but I can try, I can be more empathetic to it. The opportunity for me is to notice what comes up form me, to name it, to call it out and say “Bob, this is just a barrier that you’re putting up to either not understand their love or not allow love to be received by you.” I don’t understand it but I can try, I don’t have to put a wall up and be ‘right’. Just breathe, take inventory of what’s happening in the moment, give myself some grace and empathy if I’m triggered by something or upset, I get to watch, acknowledge and be with the love that is happening between my wife and son, and ultimately the love that’s happening all around us.
BEST MOMENTS
‘As his father I have an incredible relationship with my son, he’s my everything, but the relationship he has with my wife – he was literally created inside my wife and came out of her body.’
‘My wife literally created a being, a spirit, a soul in her body – or the spirit or soul came into her body to inhabit my child.’
‘I can never comprehend the love she has for this child. It’s not that it’s better than mine or that I’m less than, it’s just different.’
‘My wife says that why he hurts she feels it, when he gets sick, she feels sick. There’s a deep, deep connection there that’s different from the deep, deep connection I have.’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)
World Game-Changers Group
ABOUT THE GUEST
Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation.
His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do to, in order to fulfil his life purpose.
As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020.
Website: www.conlincoaching.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.
Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:
Developing World Game-Changers…
He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.
This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.
Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.
CONTACT METHODS
Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155
E-mail: Paul@Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/
