Bob Conlin takes the reins on this episode for the fourth of his regular podcasts focussed on relationships. In this episode Bob talks about relationship goals and how often this is a missed opportunity, that a lot of couples simply don’t have relationship goals. Why is that and how do we set a relationship goal?
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Typically, around the beginning of each year you set goals, those can be new years resolutions, specific results you want to accomplish in the year. It could even be in the next month or week. But, we don’t tend to do this for our marriages or relationships, we don’t even think about it – not to get married by a certain date, more about intentional conversations about the relationship and our experiences and outcomes.
My first goal was to meet my wife. I hadn’t met her yet, but my coach brought up the notion of creating a project around meeting my perfect woman, the outcome I wanted. I got to work and was very clear on the woman I wanted to meet: Her physical characteristics, who she was in the world, the experience I wanted to have with her (loved, safe, connected, a partner, that I wanted to be the best version of myself for her and me). Then I transformed them into a goal: I want to meet this woman by this time, which is weird because we don’t enter into these things with this kind of plan usually, but it happened.
For folks that are already in relationships, we don’t often set goals because of the notion that we’re in a relationship and it’s happened, we’re committed, we don’t feel like we need to or have to set goals. Start looking at what’s the experience that you want to have in your relationship? (more connection, intimacy, laughter, play, excitement and adventure?) That can be the goal, by October 2022 I want to have ‘x’ amount of joy in my relationship. Then you’ve got to get to work, to get to that amount of joy what do you need to do? (More dates, more time together? More time apart?)
If you’re in a relationship with someone who’s also committed to an experience or specific outcome from the relationship it’s a lot more fun, exciting, connected and you get to feel like you’re working towards a common outcome. You can also call your partner forward and ask how it’s going, where you’re lacking or where you’re doing really well and celebrate it.
BEST MOMENTS
‘Most of us set goals around our career, health and wellbeing, our money but when it comes to our relationships we don’t do that. Why not?’
‘We’re so convinced that things will happen when they happen or if it’s meant to be it will be, but what if you can be 100% in control of this person that I meet and create the circumstances and scenarios in my life that this person will show up into?’
‘When you think about your relationship as a partnership, what do you want to tangibly achieve with this other human being that I’m choosing to love and be in a relationship with?’
‘Go set some relationship goals!’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)
World Game-Changers Group
ABOUT THE GUEST
Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation.
His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do, in order to fulfil his life purpose.
As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020.
Website: www.conlincoaching.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.
Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:
Co-Creating New Life Stories…
He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.
This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.
Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.
CONTACT METHODS
Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155
E-mail: Paul@Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/
