Lyn talks to family law expert and retired judge Peggy Walsh about the challenges of high-conflict co-parenting, offering strategies for separating couples to resolve disputes and prioritise their child's well-being.
Peggy focusses upon the fact that the people who love the child are best suited to make decisions, not a judge or "stranger," and explains that intense conflict often arises when deep, intimate relationships end
KEY TAKEAWAYS
A judge or lawyer is the wrong person to make decisions about a child; the parents who love the child are the best people to make those decisions.
High-conflict co-parenting arises because it's very difficult for people who were in love and planned to be together forever to then separate, and this hurt causes everything—even small things—to become a massive problem.
Many disputes taken to family court are over small issues—like what a child ate for dinner—which are escalated because of the intense betrayal and negative feelings between the ex-partners, confirming the saying: "hurt people hurt people".
To resolve conflict, parents must stop focusing on the ex-partner and any betrayal, take their power back, and decide that they want peace by focusing on what is good, what they want to see improved, and creating boundaries to de-escalate harmful communication.
BEST MOMENTS
"The people who love the child are the best people to make decisions about him/ her."
"If you don't want a stranger to make decisions about your life, you don't want a stranger to make decisions about your child's life."
"They stop talking about that person, they gain the power of, well, where is the attention focused? I want to talk about my kid and the good things that are happening with my kid, or I want to talk about my life."
"You're also setting examples for children. When you stay in a relationship that you don't want to stay in, that's what they're going to think about when they are in that place too."
ABOUT THE GUEST - Peggy Walsh - Family Law Expert
Peggy Walsh is a retired family court and state Supreme Court judge. Before she became a judge, she represented people in divorce custody and other litigation. Peggy is a New York-licensed attorney but has
chosen to stay out of the courtroom because there are better ways of resolving disputes.
During her eighteen years on the bench—fourteen in family court and four in supreme court handling matrimonial cases—she witnessed firsthand how court proceedings can inflict irreparable damage on both children
and adults. More importantly, Peggy learned that this suffering is often
preventable.
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/peggy-walsh-1a5b2133Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/peggy.walsh.558076?_rdc=1&_rdr#Website - https://thecoparentcoach.com/
ABOUT THE HOST
Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert
Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now feeling safe, fulfilled, alive, full of passion and having inner peace.
She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert/ Trainer/ Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts. Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale.
Contact Method lyn@hearts-entwined.com
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
