"We're like a family here." It sounds warm and inclusive, but Shenandoah argues this phrase is actually toxic. Family language in the workplace leads to blurred boundaries, unclear roles, and unspoken expectations that people will sacrifice their wellbeing in the name of loyalty. What people actually need at work isn't family—it's safety.
The practical tool? Start your next meeting with a two-minute feelings check-in using a feelings wheel. Have everyone name one word for how they're feeling—no fixing, no explaining, just naming. This simple practice normalizes emotions and builds safety without blurring boundaries. Family at work demands sacrifice. Safety at work asks for honesty.
