Jerome and Darleen Santore explore the art of resilience and how to manage life's adversities. Drawing on her 26 years of experience as an occupational therapist, leadership advisor, and mental skills coach, Coach Dar shares her nine principles for dealing with hardship. These principles involve embracing the "suck" when something hard hits; meeting yourself where you are in order to identify and feel the emotions associated with the event; and creating a strategy to move forward. The pair also discuss numbing and healing - why it's important to face our emotions rather than masking them with certain behaviors or substances, and how to come into your own self-worth and confidence, recognize triggers without being affected by them, as well as mourning a loss while celebrating the memories associated with it. This conversation highlights the importance of mental fitness, having a growth mindset, developing strong faith, reframing difficult situations, recognizing your gifts, learning from life experience, and understanding that preparation meets opportunity as a key factor in achieving success. Join Jerome and Coach Dar on their journey as they explore these topics in detail.
[00:01 - 06:50] Coach Dar's 9 Principles to Bounce Back from Adversity and Thrive: Embrace the Suck!
Coach Dar has written a book called The Art of Bouncing Back
There are nine principles in the book to help people bounce back from adversity and reach greatness
The first principle is "Embrace the Suck" - acknowledging and dealing with difficult emotions instead of numbing them
[06:50 - 16:49] Realistic Optimism: Embrace Life Experiences to Heal and Move Forward
Realistic optimism is key to dealing with difficult emotions
Numbing feelings can be done through drugs, alcohol, social media, shopping, etc.
Healing is when triggers don't trigger you as much anymore
Celebrate the things that remind you of lost loved ones
[16:50 - 26:21] Uncovering Your Mental Edge: Building a Strong Mental Foundation for Resilience and Strength
Release the pain and start healing
Focus on taking care of your own spirit
Shift perspective to gain a mental edge
Build a strong mental foundation for resilience
[26:22 - 41:11] Respect the Hard Work: How to Develop Mental Endurance and Confidence
Training is necessary to build mental endurance
Surrounding yourself with people who want to level up is important
Optimizers are people who want to grow in their relationships, health, and career
Six Sigma is a continuous improvement process that chases perfection
The difference between those who are prepared and those who feel unworthy is the mindset
[41:12 - 44:02] Closing Segment
Shift your mindset to "why not" instead of "why"
Seize the moment and do something good with it
Quotes:
"You have to meet people where you are and you've gotta meet yourself where you are when something hits." - Coach Dar
"You know you're healing when triggers don't trigger you as much anymore.” - Coach Dar
"We are way more resilient than we give ourselves credit for." - Coach Dar
"Rather than sit in the why about it, seize it and do something really good with it." - Coach Dar
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Dreamcatchers is an inclusive organization that targets people’s interest in being more instead of a certain demographic. We have people from all walks of life at many different ages. Find out more at www.dreamsshouldbereal.com. Find out more about Jerome at www.d3v3loping.com or www.myersmethods.com.
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