How do you feel comfortable offering opinions in a free form, unplanned environment? How do you trust that what you’re thinking is valid?
I talk about this with a good friend of mine, Emily Chen, who moved to New York from the southern part of China when she was 14. She had to adapt not only to an entirely new country and language, but also to a culture that is heavily biased towards being vocal (sometimes even at the expense of public good, but that’s a separate topic).
We reflect on how our backgrounds may have contributed to the discomfort, how we’ve learned to trust in the inherent value of our ideas, and how to deliver them effectively and with authenticity.
💭 POCKETS OF THOUGHT 💭
“For lots of immigrants, their lives are so preoccupied with other burdens, like survival, and how do you have enough money to pay for rent, to support your children? When your mind is so preoccupied with just the necessities of life, having an opinion on things that are not immediately relevant to you is such a privilege." -Emily Chen
“My parents, like many immigrants who are not very educated, are very practical people. To them, thinking is not very practical.. how would my thoughts change anything? So to them, they want to focus on what’s practical, and to them, it’s what’s actionable.” -Emily Chen
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00:00 - Welcome! Intro'ing Emily
01:45 - 5:40 Sharing opinions vs. sharing answers, prepping talking points ahead of time, open discussion as the default mode in the American education system
5:40 - 12:10 Not getting the chance to practice formulating/sharing opinions growing up, immigrant parents & their tendency to be practical
12:10 - 15:00 Practicing at work, focusing on the message and not on the self
15:00 - 18:07 The flip side of being humble, retraining your mindset
18:07 - 23:20 - Sharing only when ideas are "original", caring about perception and being liked
23:00 - 35:45 - Delivering ideas effectively
35:45 - Things you can't control and learning to walk away
