By tuning in to this interview you will receive a new perspective with which to view aging, and how we can reverse the old phrase “getting old sucks” to see the valuable lessons we can learn as we live longer.
This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam welcomes Author and Therapist, Connie Zweig, Ph.D.
Connie Zweig, Ph.D., is a retired therapist, co-author of Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow, author of Meeting the Shadow of Spirituality, and a novel, A Moth to the Flame: The Life of Sufi Poet Rumi.
Her new book, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul, extends shadow-work into late life and teaches aging as a spiritual practice. It won both the 2021 American Book Fest Award and the 2021 Best Indie Book Award for best inspirational non-fiction. Connie has been doing contemplative practices for more than 50 years. She is a wife, stepmother, and grandmother.
After investing in all these roles, she is practicing the shift from role to soul.
Sam and Connie will be discussing all the spiritual gifts of aging.
Blogging at: https://medium.com/@conniezweig
Website: https://conniezweig.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drconniezweig/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ReinventingAge
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.ConnieZweig/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLdvX4rtyOC4SA75JU98qaA?view_as=subscriber
Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
Segment 1
Sam reads a section from his book Everyday Awakening. This section is called “The Kinder We are with Ourselves, The Easier it is to Take Responsibility.'' He talks about how many people go through fear when taking responsibility for our actions and words. Some of this fear is about being hard on ourselves and judgment. We fear making mistakes. But he says that we should be kinder to ourselves and everyone else. We are all human and humans make mistakes. Sam says that this doesn’t mean that we are letting ourselves off the hook, but he points out that we are not as kind and compassionate to others because we aren't like this to ourselves. When we become more gentle with ourselves, it's easier to forgive others and communicate with others as well as ourselves for mistakes when we all try to do better and take responsibility for what we do. Sam introduces his guest, Connie Zweig, a retired therapist, and author of her new book, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul, extends shadow-work into late life and teaches aging as a spiritual practice. Connie says that she was a journalist before getting her PHD in psychology. She was also in the publishing business for a decade. She was writing while also doing her private practice. Connie also studied the psychology of the unconscious rooted in Freud and Jung. She wanted to explore more about shadow work, especially since at the time there weren't a lot of books about it.
Segment 2
Sam asks Connie about what gave her the idea to write a book about aging and the work around it. She says that in her late 60s, when retiring from her therapy practice, she started to feel out of place and ask things like “who am I?” We know about the midlife crisis, but no one really talks about the late life crisis. She also mentions that today, everyone focuses on productivity and work. Connie says that there is an unconscious side of us that internalizes ageism and so there are people in this stage of their life who may not be able to accept their age and change in their life. Sam talks about how in the United States there's culture that idolizes youth, which affects how we think about ourselves. Connie says that all of the aspects of being human that carry the parts that are seen as negative, like aging, go into the “shadow”, and we deny them. She talks about ageism and how it’s seen in communities and institutions. Sam talks about her new book and it’s different sections. One of them is called “The Divine Messenger.” Connie talks about a legend where a young prince was very sheltered and didn’t see any suffering because he was kept inside the palace. One day he escaped and was shocked by what he saw on the outside. He saw an eldery, ill person, and a corpse. She says this gives an awakening to realize that life is temporary in this way, shown by the physical changes that happen to everyone.
Segment 3
Connie and Sam continue discussing her new book. They talk about the pandemic bringing awareness. Many people experienced loss and brought awareness of the risk and vulnerability that we all have. She also brings up an interesting concern that in a couple of years, when hopefully the pandemic is managed even better, that many people will forget about this awareness and that it will go back into the “unconscious.” She says that she’s met people who do not let themselves grieve. But everyone handles grieving differently. Connie and Sam also discuss how age is seen differently in cultures and communities. Connie speaks about indigenous cultures that have a different relationship to the eldery and recognizes the transition into elderhood as a transition about storytelling, memories, and values. In her book she writes that when we become aware about our immortality, we search for what we believe in and what we do such as spirituality, look for a certain community, or religion. Connie also speaks about the subtitle of her book, Shifting from Role to Soul. She discusses how for most of our lives, we focus on the roles we have; we are a brother, sister, wife, husband, cousin, therapist, etc. Through time, these roles disappear. Her book includes practices to shift from our roles to who we really are as a person, as a human being.
Segment 4
Coming back from the final break, Connie and Sam continue their conversation about aging. Connie says that age is our curriculum. All the challenges that we have can be worked with. We can see things like caregiving as a spiritual practice. She says that we have a lot of challenges, whether mental or physical. But we have tools that can help us reach new stages of awareness. Connie and Sam also discuss the idea that “aging sucks.” Connie says that there are very difficult topics about aging. She says that the whole truth about this stage of life is important to be aware about. Connie also talks about working with her own inner ageism and the challenges she went through, which she also discusses in her book. Connie gives some advice to those who are struggling with challenges about coming to terms with aging. She talks about meditation, and choosing a cause and community working in an area that you are passionate about. She also says to ask yourself, if you are on your deathbed now, what would you be regretting about what you never said or done. How can you change that now to be at peace in your life and towards the end? Before closing the show, Sam asks Connie about who is an elder that she has seen as a role model and looked up to. She mentions Ram Dass. She credits him as someone who she borrowed the phrase “role to soul” from. She says that she is very grateful to him for being a role model for her and her generation. You can learn more about Connie at conniezweig.com, and Dr. Connie Zweig on Facebook and Linkedin. Sam thanks Connie for joining him today and sharing more about her new book as it is very insightful!
