In this solo episode, I’m diving into one of the most consistent frustrations I hear from leaders—especially those managing people. We often confuse someone’s actual capacity with the expectations we place on them, and the only thing that fills the gap between the two is disappointment. Let’s unpack that.
Have you ever felt frustrated that someone on your team just isn’t meeting your expectations—even though you’ve been crystal clear about what success looks like? I see it constantly in leaders who used to do the job themselves. They assume their experience is the benchmark and forget that others might not be in the same place. If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t get why they can’t just do it,” this episode is for you.
I share a story from one of my mastermind group calls where a leader was frustrated that new team members weren’t hitting the standard of 50 dials a day. But here’s the thing: that might not actually be in their current capacity. I challenged the group to think about what happens when we set expectations without first understanding what someone is truly capable of—especially in their first week.
When we refuse to adjust expectations based on capacity, we create an environment full of frustration, not growth. It’s not just a professional issue either. I get into how this shows up in our relationships, our parenting, and even our marriages. The only thing that lives in the gap between what someone can do and what we expect them to do is disappointment—and that’s on us.
The best leaders I know don’t just set high expectations—they take the time to understand their people. They know what motivates them, what they’re capable of, and where they want to grow. And then they build systems and standards that reflect that understanding. That’s what creates sustainable success.
00:00 Introduction
00:33 The Leadership Pattern of Disappointment
01:49 When Expectations Come from Experience
03:01 The Gap Between Capacity and Expectation
05:05 A Story from My Mastermind Group
06:56 What If Your Team Just Isn’t There Yet?
07:55 How This Shows Up in Relationships Too
09:30 Parental Frustration and Developmental Truths
10:18 A Better Way to Lead and Set Expectations
