What if I told you that the culture in your workplace—or even in your home—isn’t what you say it is? It’s what you allow it to be. Culture isn’t defined by the posters on the walls, the mission statements, or even the rules we declare. It’s shaped by the behaviors and attitudes we tolerate. Today, I’ll dive into how this concept affects our leadership, workplaces, and personal lives, and why it’s essential to align what we tolerate with the culture we truly want.
Culture is not built on lofty declarations or values we aspire to achieve. While these aspirations set a standard, the actual culture reflects what we accept and allow. If there’s a gap between the behaviors we permit and the values we claim, the true culture always aligns with what we tolerate.
Tolerated behaviors create the foundation for culture, whether positive or negative. Unchecked actions—whether in a team, at home, or in personal relationships—can lead to dysfunction and misalignment. Leadership involves actively addressing these behaviors, not just setting high expectations.
Parenting often serves as a mirror for leadership. In my own life, as my kids grow and test boundaries, I’ve seen the importance of not just stating what’s acceptable but consistently enforcing it. Similarly, in teams, it’s not enough to say “this isn’t okay”; we must actively address and redirect behaviors to align with our desired culture.
Toxicity in teams arises when poor behavior goes unchecked, often because leaders avoid hard conversations. Whether due to long-standing relationships, fear of confrontation, or lack of clarity, ignoring these issues undermines the integrity of the culture. True leadership requires courage to address these challenges.
Leadership begins with auditing the behaviors we allow, not just the words we say. How often do we hold ourselves and others accountable? How often do we model the standards we expect? Leadership is action—it’s visible, consistent, and intentional.
Reactive leadership responds to problems as they arise, while proactive leadership anticipates and prevents them. Proactive leaders model and enforce boundaries, fostering a culture of alignment and clarity. The path to proactive leadership begins with asking what you are currently tolerating and how it affects your team or home environment.
00:00 Introduction: What is culture?
01:00 Culture vs. expectations.
02:00 The role of tolerated behaviors.
03:00 Personal reflection on tolerance at home.
04:00 Unchecked behavior and leadership challenges.
05:00 Tackling long-term dysfunction.
06:00 Auditing and modeling behavior.
07:00 Proactive vs. reactive leadership.
08:00 Final takeaways and call to action.
