In today's episode, I’m joined by Josh Patten, a seasoned leader with a diverse background, including a long tenure at Aetna and a deep experience in crisis leadership. We dive into the tension that many leaders face—the difference between leading authentically and being influenced by external expectations. Josh shares his struggles with leadership, the pressure to perform, and how he’s navigating the gap between his core values and the demands of his role.
Josh opens up about the struggles of leadership, particularly in high-pressure situations like layoffs and turnarounds. As someone who’s often been in a crisis leadership role, Josh reflects on how he’s consistently been able to lead others, but in doing so, he has lost track of leading himself. His candidness about feeling disconnected from his values provides a real, relatable moment for anyone in a leadership role who’s ever felt the weight of leading others at the cost of themselves.
Josh talks about the disconnect he feels between his core self—someone who thrives in vision, creativity, and inspiration—and the daily demands of his leadership position. Even though Josh is where he wanted to be five years ago, he finds himself exhausted and unfulfilled because of the gap between who he is and what he does every day. This reflects a struggle that many leaders face—being stuck in a position where they’re thriving externally but feeling drained and unfulfilled internally.
Even though Josh acknowledges the successes he’s achieved, he constantly wrestles with the idea of wanting more. More impact. More growth. More engagement. He talks about the tension between feeling content with what he has and recognizing there is more he could do. This conflict of always striving for more while trying to appreciate the present moment is something that many leaders struggle with.
Josh shares an important lesson: leadership isn’t just about managing systems and teams—it’s about knowing who you are and where you want to go. Being clear on your values and communicating those values to your team is essential for authentic leadership. Josh’s personal story illustrates how his self-awareness and emotional intelligence have guided his journey, but also how challenging it can be to lead from a place of authenticity when there’s external pressure to conform.
As Josh reflects on the personal and professional tensions in his life, he shares that part of his struggle comes from wanting to be both a high-energy visionary and a calm, centred leader. This duality often leaves him feeling inadequate, as he tries to fit himself into roles that he believes others need him to fill. However, Josh ultimately realises that the key to overcoming this tension is not trying to change who he is, but to embrace his true self and lead authentically, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Throughout the conversation, Josh emphasises the importance of healthy conflict and being willing to rock the boat. He shares that his most effective leadership moments come when he leans into his natural ability to challenge the status quo. However, he also realises that, in corporate settings, this kind of leadership is often misunderstood as combative. The key takeaway here is that healthy conflict, when done with clarity and respect, can drive clarity and success within a team.
In the end, Josh and I reflect on how the best leaders are those who know their own values and are unafraid to lead from that place of authenticity. Josh’s journey serves as a reminder that leaders need to focus not just on their external accomplishments, but also on how they show up authentically, making decisions aligned with their core values. Leadership isn’t about being someone else—it’s about owning who you are and leading others to do the same.
Josh’s story is a powerful reminder for leaders to ask themselves: Am I leading authentically, or am I trying to fit into someone else's mould of what leadership should look like? Leaders must lean into their own strengths and values and trust that doing so will help create the type of leadership that attracts the right people and creates lasting impact.
00:00 Introduction to Leadership Challenges
00:22 Meet Josh Patton: A Leader's Journey
01:05 The Struggles of Crisis Leadership
02:03 Balancing Personal and Professional Life
03:42 The Pursuit of Potential and Contentment
05:34 Defining Success and Happiness
14:22 The Importance of Rest and Rejuvenation
16:55 Finding Belonging and Self-Acceptance
20:17 Leadership and Open Communication
20:48 Balancing Leadership Styles at Work and Home
21:21 Navigating Conflict and Accountability
23:00 Embracing Your Leadership Strengths
24:30 The Importance of Authenticity in Leadership
25:41 Reflecting on Personal and Professional Growth
26:46 Creating Value and Focusing on Strengths
28:27 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Embracing Your Role
31:13 Practical Tips for Effective Leadership
39:03 Conclusion and Invitation to Leadership Session
