LAW 8 — CHAPTER 8: The Law of Pain
Good management Of Bad Experiences Leads To Great Growth
LEARN IT
“It’s Not That Something Went Wrong”
I. Discuss this quote: “Every problem introduces a person to himself”
II. Truths About Bad Experiences:
A. Everyone has them
1. Bad experiences are not unique to anyone.
2. If we expect a fair shake, or a fair like, be ready for a bid disappointment.
B. No one likes them
C. Few Make Bad Experiences Positive Experiences
1. But we can choose how to respond to every experience
III. The Pain File
A. The Pain of Inexperience – “I have never been through that”
B. The Pain of Incompetence – “I should have seen that coming”
C. The Pain of Disappointment – “I wish it had never happened”
D. The Pain of Conflict – “Human encounter doesn’t always feel good”
E. The Pain of Change – “I didn’t want that to happen”
F. The Pain of Bad Health – “I lost what I thought I would always have”
G. The Pain of Hard Decisions – “You can’t make everyone happy”
H. The Pain of Financial Loss – “If I could only get that back”
I. The Pain of Relationship Losses – “Some people will grow in a different direction than I”
J. The Pain of Not Being Number One – “I deserved to be there”
K. The Pain of Traveling – “When I am away, I feel…”
L. The Pain of Responsibility – “They expect so much from me”
LIVE IT
“It’s Your Life – You Choose”
IV. How To Turn Your Pain Into Gain
A. Choose a positive life stance
1. What are your life assumptions and presuppositions about life, people, and experiences?
2. Do you start with an expectation that you can people are good, or that experiences can be dealt with?
3. With a positive life stance, good will become better and bad will not be as bad.
4. While life is not always the way we hope it will be; it is always the way is turns out – how will you view the final result?
5. A positive life stance WILL find positive lessons in every experience.
B. Embrace and Develop Your Creativity
1. Discuss this Quote by Neal Walsh: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” How does this help with creativity?
2. When presented with a bad experience, often creativity will show you the way through it.
C. Embrace The Value Of Bad Experiences
1. Discuss this observation by John Maxwell: “In this life, there are winners and there are learners.”
2. We will all face difficulties, but we will not all learn from them.
D. Make Good Changes After Learning From Bad Experiences
1. This is especially true is the bad experience is the result of our bad judgment – LEARN!
2. As fire hardens steel into a usable tool, so too can pain shape us into amazing people for the future.
3. Feelings such as resentment can make a bad experience even worse.
E. Take Responsibility For Your Life
1. Are you a victim or victor?
2. It is only one short step from “Why me”? to “Woe is me”
3. It seems very hard, maybe even cruel or callous, but no matter what happens, our attitude toward a negative experience (Positive and hopeful, or negative and defeated) will put us on a CHOSEN path.
4. Here is a solid truth about being accountable and responsible for one’s life: “Very few are.”
Facilitation Questions Options
OVERCOME GROWING PAINS
(Specific Steps to Amazing Growth)
Based on your life, which of these statements best describes your response to pain:
• I do anything and everything possible to avoid pain at all.
• I know pain is inevitable, but I try to ignore it or just block it out.
• I know everyone endures pain, so I just endure it when it comes
• I don’t like pain, but I try to remain positive despite it.
• I process the emotion of painful experiences quickly and try to find a lesson in them.
• I process pain, find the lesson, and make changes proactively as a result.
Discuss this process John has used in his life when he has encountered painful experiences:
a. Define the problem
b. Understand your emotion
c. Articulate the lesson
d. Identify a desired change
e. Brainstorm numerous pathways
f. Receive other’s input
g. Implement a course of action.
Remember, personal change require action. Decide now to take action, attitude and altitude when the next painful experience arrives.
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