Cindy Esliger talks about the double-edged sword that niceness can be in this episode. The pressure to be nice in the corporate world can feel overwhelming but forced niceness can lead to self-sacrifice and the impression of being easily manipulated. Being kind is a far better goal than being nice and Cindy explains why that is and how to pursue kindness over being nice.
Cindy outright states that “niceness is overrated” and then delves into why that is. Niceness often comes at the expense of being real, honest, and kind. Niceness is about appearances and is surface level. It means keeping things pleasant even when it betrays our own feelings or needs. Kindness, however, digs deeper. Kindness is showing up for people, and not just in easy moments. It’s caring enough to tell someone an uncomfortable truth. And kindness is compassionate without being a doormat.
The vast differences between working in a culture of nice and working in a culture of kindness are explored by Cindy. Kindness is generous, fair, honest, and vulnerable. Niceness might say positive things but kindness does positive things. The difference between simply keeping things cordial at the expense of ourselves and our goals and finding kind ways to tell truths and remain true to ourselves is the point of this episode. Cindy highlights the benefits of kindness in the workplace and shares advice on how to let go of being nice and pursue kindness instead.
Resources discussed in this episode:
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Contact Cindy Esliger
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