In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the cycle of unrealistic expectations and false promises that keeps us striving indefinitely. It’s not just exhausting, it feeds into a culture that thrives on our self-doubt and overwork. We’re left blaming ourselves instead of identifying the truth, which Cindy explains isn’t us but the system that maintains control with ever-moving goalposts. How do we break free from this unending grind? Cindy tells us how to create an authentic and fulfilling career independent of other people’s arbitrary standards.
Cindy calls the coercive control loop of false promises ‘future faking’. It erodes our confidence and fosters burnout. Continuing to shift the goalposts is designed to keep us striving but never arriving. It’s a demoralizing control tactic that is used to maintain control and keep us off-balance. When we let it get to us, we start doubting ourselves, which causes us to double down in effort. Cindy says the first step to stop playing the game is recognizing that we don’t have to prove our worth, and the second step is to redefine what success means to us.
There are three common patterns that prevent us from taking back our power. 1) Unrealistic expectations, 2) Invisible work, and 3) Toxic dynamics. When we can identify those patterns, we can see them for what they are and reclaim our confidence and agency. Cindy offers a roadmap for how to acknowledge future faking and stop internalizing the problem. With her guidance, we can shift the power dynamic and choose ourselves, our goals, our values, and our well-being instead of playing a rigged game.
Resources discussed in this episode:
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Contact Cindy Esliger
Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
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