Cindy Esliger puts the spotlight on people-pleasing and conflict avoidance in the workplace, exploring how to stop playing small to please others. If we don’t define what we want from our careers, others decide what we deserve, and we end up settling for that. We deserve better, though, and Cindy explains the cost of staying silent about our needs. She offers ways to shift from reacting to responding, how to set boundaries without guilt, and how to communicate assertively.
There is a cost to simply going with the flow and refusing to make waves. Being easygoing isn’t a strength in every situation. We need to set our own boundaries and make our needs heard. Cindy outlines five of the most common consequences of not doing this: 1. Chronic resentment, 2. Identity stagnation, 3. Invisible contributions, 4. Doing great work just earns more work, and 5. Muddled communication. We’re conditioned to think that accommodating others makes us better colleagues, but what it actually does is teach others that our time and energy are up for negotiation.
If we’re feeling obliged to say yes, saying sure and rearranging our schedules, waiting to be recognized without advocating for ourselves, thinking our needs and wants are too much, or thinking people should just know what we need, then we’re already in the trap of people-pleasing and letting others decide our path. Cindy shares five strategies on how to ask for more without burning bridges in the process: 1. Shift from reacting to responding, 2. Name what we actually want, 3. Communicate clearly, 4. Set boundaries and stick to them, and 5. Repair, don’t resent. The key to change isn’t becoming louder or more aggressive; it’s in becoming more intentional.
Resources discussed in this episode:
—
Contact Cindy Esliger
Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
