So the question today is: Are WE GOOD enough?
Words matter. What we say to each other but also to ourselves. From childhood encounters to adulthood, each moment has shaped how I have chosen to feel about myself. Words spoken over 20 years ago have haunted me, chased me down, run me over at times.
When you are affected that strongly, it bleeds into other avenues of your life. As a homeschooling mom, I KNOW we made the best decision to learn at home. I have been able to see firsthand when the lightbulb goes off in my child’s eyes as their excitement over learning grows. Being involved in their passions, hearing them help each other, watching them build friendships…it is a wonderful blessing and privilege.
Even then, there is still comparison. The curriculum we have used is not what other friends use. They post or chat about what their kids are accomplishing, and it is at a different level than my own. Is it because my ability to homeschool is not enough? Was I not smart enough to teach them better? Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
Last week, I felt myself fighting those thoughts again.
While in the car alone, I broke down in tears, struggling with my thoughts. Not meeting my own expectations. Asking God if I was ever going to be good enough. I cried out, quite literally, expressing all the things that had taken my mind captive.
Those feelings come and go. But the negative comes in like a tidal wave.
When I began this podcast, it was my hope to bring goodness, light, encouragement to you. I knew that having a social media presence was necessary in order to reach more people. Yet, as I sat scrolling similar accounts, I noticed that they had the perfect images, the perfect verbiage, the best hashtags. The page I shared with friends has not gotten the interactions I would like. All the Nagging Nelly second-guessing-over-thinking-bless-my-pea-picking-heart thoughts were just OOZING in all their negative glory.
There can be a good kind of nagging though.
This weekend I finally read a book that my son has been asking me to read in order for him to have someone to discuss it with as well as he just knew I would love it. And boy did I!
Remember how I said there’s a good type of nagging that the Lord can sometimes do? He uses whatever way he needs to reach out and speak to his children. Reading the excerpt from the page brought forth a gut punch at the right time.
You can listen to the voice of fear or the voice of truth! The voice that says you aren’t good enough OR the voice that says you are COMPLETE.
Which voice will YOU listen to you? I hope you will choose the one who says YOU are perfect and whole. YOU are his. YOU are chosen.
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Email me: courtney@imperfectlypollyanna.com
